FUTURE GENERATIONS ● kydobi

[bai shi ⦸]

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THE KINGPIN

golden lung dragon & black jaguar w/ vitiligo & platinum silver fox. unknown age - ancient. bai 'pure' shi 'honest' lynn lingré. prefers lynn if close. they/them. blind. wind element & electric element. firstborn son of jerisidie lingré & current head of family/general. courting kydobi, regina & idyllfields. marauder of the pitt. demiromantic gray-asexual.

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a curt exhale and flick of their tail, not moving, "i loved you the whole damn time, kydobi. don't make me hate myself anymore for trying to do something with that affection. every time that i told you of how i felt, you denied it. you went the other way. you ran from it. then the one time that you found it in yourself to face me, i had tried to move on.", they turned to face him, their face expressionless. "don't pin this all on me. you told me it was alright to move on. i asked if i could move on and you gave your agreement although i should never have needed it. so yes, we stand here as friends, or whatever is left of our friendship." they chuffed, stepping away from the building, easing their sword over their shoulder.

paws picking a path through the grounds they had once loved, they coughed to clear their throat of all the dust clogging it. "do you have any idea of what happened at the raid? how many people broke because you died? how many tears were shed? you're lucky to be so loved, kydobi.
so very lucky. they all grieved. without you, they were lost." they murmur, tongue thick in their mouth. let him find out from someone just what they had done when he lay dying and dead. let him find out what he meant in words that they could not share without losing composure.

"i would have 'respected' it, had it come earlier. i was at one time one's mate, but oh, he died. love is a cruel game in my family. we die or the ones we love die. death comes after everyone sooner than it should. so forgive me for being greedy and trying to love someone else after that damn raid. forgive me for trying to be someone more than i am. forgive me." they end up growling, hating their voice cracking and the pent up emotions showing in their tone. as they had walked, their paws brought them to the cliffs of the old territory where the aspects, the group's gods, had once lived. standing on the precipice, they felt hot and angry tears welling in their eyes, claws digging into the rock as they breathed in the sulphurous air, teeth grinding together and ears laid back. why had they started to break down, to lose their calm, why had they had to yell at him or even drag him here?