what a shame we all became such fragile, broken things / private

[Margaery]

[glow=BLACK,2,300]▶ MARGAERY FOLIE - tags - THE ASCENDANTS - OBSERVER - SHE/HER- FELINE ◀[/glow]

For a moment, there was only pure, unfiltered relief. Her journey, her terribly long journey, had finally come to a close. She could fall asleep easy tonight knowing that her daughters were safe, that they had survived this awful tragedy just like she and Suite had somehow. A smile almost tugged upon her lips. But her light feelings lasted for only a second and then, there was the guilt. It had not arrived alone though and, upon being accused of abandoning her, mingled freely now with anger.

She had not abandoned anyone.

Fate had been the thing that had driven them apart.

It was then that the scent of blood caught her attention again and she half-contemplated releasing the monster inside of her just to escape this suddenly awful situation. There would be no words if she gave into her feral side- just a certain mindless brutality that would ultimately worsen everything tenfold. She fought hard to keep the beast shackled with that in mind, biting down hard on her lip to taste her own blood and ground herself. Deep breaths, Her mind cooed softly, Don't succumb to the thing that you hate. It had been so hard recently, especially with things piling up. This didn't help... these blatant lies on Lilyspoise's part were helping no one save the delusion in her daughter's mind that she and Suite were terrible people that didn't care for her.

She couldn't focus on the accusations yet, not after Lil revealed that Lissa and Eli had simply disappeared. How could that... how could that be? They were bound by their souls and she had always presumed that there was no Lil without Lissa, no Eli without Lil, and no Lissa without Eli. They were three entities sharing one being... they couldn't have just left their sister like that! [color=#b14767]"Lil I..." She broke off before she could even finish, grappling for words that would express her sympathy. She doesn't want your sympathy. She hates you, she was reminded. The realization was like a slap to her face.

That marriage of guilt and anger returned after that, and it took every ounce of her sheer willpower to not simply scream out a response. [color=#b14767]"Do not say that I abandoned you when you and I both know that we had no control over the situation. I have done nothing but look for you every day since we've been separated and I can say with the utmost of certainty that there has not been an hour that your name hasn't crossed my mind. How dare you accuse your mother, of all people, of such an atrocity when you know, you know that isn't who I am. But I guess we don't truly know each other anyways- the Lilies, huh? Killing is addicting isn't it?" She inquired, venom coating her own words now. She was a rose yes, but like every one of her kind, she hid thorns beneath those delicate petals. It retrospect, she would realize her last comment was not a wise one to make. But she didn't care, not when the same thing could be asked of herself. Four generations of killers... Her grandmother would be so proud.

But killer or not, angry or not, Lil didn't want to return with her... The Typhoon apparently needed her more...

Her heart sank. She was angry, yes, but this was still her child. After searching for so long and feeling so absolutely hopeless, she didn't know if she possessed the ability to just let her go. She hates you, Margaery. She hates you like you hate Caroline. Her mind was back again, this time providing her memories and feelings that she had experienced in the wake of being abandoned by her own mother. Caroline had had a choice though. When darkness tempted her, she had fallen into its embrace and left all she knew, all she apparently loved, behind. Margaery would never do that. She'd much rather die first.

Before she had the opportunity to even make her case, she was being asked about Suiteheart. So many conflicting emotions bubbled under the surface both before and after the inquiry was made and she was forced to clench her jaw as not to just screech in frustration. [color=#b14767]"She misses you terribly," Began Margaery, knowing that there was no real use in sugarcoating the fact that they had found each other, [color=#b14767]"We've been doing all we can. I've been doing all I can but listen, it's not easy. A year of travel, a year of searching and defending myself and surviving all alone while trying to fight off what every instinct in my body wants me to become has taken a toll on me. I needed time to recuperate, the condition of my lungs is faltering again and it was getting hard to journey such long distances each and every day. I'm sorry that you most likely see that as selfish but I would never be able to find you if I was dead."

She had stopped crying a little while ago. She couldn't find it within herself to cry when her own daughter saw it fit to make such monstrous comments towards her. Once again, her attention was drawn back to the open wound on Lil's flank. The blood coming from it was mesmerizing, to say in the least, but she shooed the thoughts away and took a hesitant step forward. [color=#b14767]"Two things: this conversation is far from over and I won't be leaving until you patch up your side. I know you... I know you hate me, but I don't reciprocate those feelings in even the slightest. If you want to see me gone, you better get moving I suppose."

Numbness had finally settled over Margaery and she, relieved, fell into it with open arms. While the bear had nearly managed to physically kill her, this conversation was certainly trying its hardest to emotionally kill her. She wished that Lil could understand- that she would just step outside of herself and into Margaery's shoes for but a moment to understand the turmoil and struggle she had face in the wake of searching for her daughter. Her asthma had caught up to her and, without the proper treatment, she had almost suffocated on the very thing meant to keep her breathing on one account. How could she have been expected to resume searching if she was physically incapable of doing so?

Lips set into a firm frown, she inclined her ears forward and waited.

Waited to be berated.

Waited to be told that she was right in presuming that the other female hated her.

At least she could see Lilyspoise grown up, a truly striking young adult, for the first and ultimately, the last time.