what a shame we all became such fragile, broken things / private

[lilyspoise]

There are many names in history

but none of them are ours.

lilyspoise ♕ the typhoon ♕ budding flower ♕ tags

The first name was all Lil needed-- Margaery wasn't a common name, but the additional last names only sealed the deal. Everything felt... weird. The tabby was sad, angry, relieved and yet heartbroken. The rush of emotions was foreign and overwhelming for someone who had settled into a gentle numbness for the past few months. Everything was intense and she was drowning all over again.
She could've sworn she knew how to swim.

"I've come to find my daughters. I've been searching for them for so long and finally, finally I believe I've found them."

Looking up at Margaery with wide eyes, she felt her heart both fill with joy and anger. Margaery and Suiteheart abandoned her, and by the scent that the other carried, it seemed she had settled down into a new home, too.
"You... were looking for..." For your daughters, or for me? Are they even the same person anymore? Lil paused, remaining quiet as Margaery continued on, addressing her by names she hadn't heard in ages. Lil was commonplace enough of a nickname, but Eli and Lissa were born from a name she no longer went by. Elise.

Tears budded in her eyes; thoughts of her twin-souls had remain relatively repressed until now, but the remembrance of those long lost made her lose the composure she'd held around her new crew mates.
"I'm Lilyspoise. Formerly Lilyspaw. Formerly... Elise." There was no point in lying, Margaery already knew that it was her. The cream tabby appearance was popular enough that Lil could've tried to pass off as being a stranger, but she knew that her mangled ears, lilac eyes, and teary reaction would all give her away. "I'm... only Lilyspoise though. The others left, or disappeared, or something. I don't know-- I don't know what happened. They were here one day, and then they were gone."

"Does that sound familiar?" Despite wavering, Lily's voice was now tinted with anger. Her eyes, although crying, were narrowed, and she did her best to muster up anything but an ugly crying face. "You abandoned me. You both abandoned me. You left, and then Eli and Lissa disappeared, and then there was nothing! You left me to pick up the pieces that weren't even there anymore! I was a child!" The more she spoke, the more her voice rose in desperate anger. There had been not one person she'd confided this in-- she'd traveled alone for so long with only the occasional conversation with another traveler, and now despite settling in the Typhoon she had not grown close enough with anyone to reveal her life woes to.

"I can't come with you." Lil murmured quietly, looking off in the direction where she believed the main island would be. "You're not the only one who found a place to be, and the Typhoon needs me right now. They don't have an official healer, and yes, the crew mates have scattered knowledge, but no one else who's dedicated solely to medicine, and has the needed research and experience to back it up." Why was she justifying herself to Margaery? Even if the Typhoon did have a healer, Lil couldn't find herself wanting to be in the Ascendants. Admittedly, they were too peaceful. There was still a rowdy part of Lil that liked the thrill of the fight. She didn't want to kill unnecessarily, but killing out of survival wasn't something she needed to feel guilty about here.

"How is Suiteheart?" Lilyspoise asked, half bitter and half curious. Margaery said she was looking for her daughters, not her daughters and her wife. That meant that Margaery must have found the other first. Must have found the other and settled down in the Ascendants and decided that was home now, Lilyspoise or not.

They didn't even care for her, did they?

"I hope you're both doing well. Enjoying your new home." Now her words were spoken with venom, wrapped in anger. Those two were just like her birth-mother! They only ever cared for each other, and not for their children. Lil didn't care that Margaery said she was looking for her daughters-- if she really had been then Lil would've heard about it in her own travels! If she was looking for Lil then maybe the two shouldn't have abandoned her in the first place! "I think you should head back there, soon."