singing of the light - exhaustion

[fulzanin]

WE'LL MAKE A WAY WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR PLACE
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Feza could certainly be deemed a forgetful person. If it wasn't in her festive interests - or if it wasn't - the snow leopard had a tendency to forget. She forgot where she put her supplies, where she put her things, where she was at times if she wasn't inside her home, names, faces. Her mind was simply moving too quickly for anything truly permanent to stick. Feza never really saw it as a problem, although it was debatable if her mind really was able to sit still long enough to examine her own problems. Falling asleep outside of her home certainly didn't seem to be setting off any alarm bells. The grogginess after waking back up was disorienting. Her eyes were squinting, paws occasionally lifting to rub at her eyes to rub away the hazy look that waking up usually presented. "Aurum, silly, I'm a party thrower and not a liar. I wouldn't- I wouldn't lie to you." A pause. "Usually." The last word came out softly, uncertainly, her ears twitching in a way that was probably the physical manifestation of being uncomfortable - something already established by kneading at the ground beneath her.

It was hard to get her voice back into line when she was still tired. She couldn't quite find the right tone, nor the right pitch. Perhaps such contributed to the awkward expression that Feza presented on her face. Half asleep still, confused, dazed. The snow leopard could see the other's own expression, and it was that of concern. How was falling asleep outside concerning? Didn't some people do it all the time? She couldn't quite remember, still trying to fight her way through the remaining feelings of sleep in order to remember how exactly she got her voice the way that she liked. Slowly the vibrant female stood up, stretching, giving herself a shake - all in effort to prove that she totally had not been asleep prior. "I don't need rest, I just need to eat. Then I, then I gotta finish up my latest and, and my greatest party idea yet. It's going to be super, it'll be super festive and fun. Everyone'll have a good, a great time. It involves, it's gonna- maybe I should keep it a surprise. Uh, I'm- it's gonna be rope centered I think. I haven't gotten it- it's not approved yet so I dunno what it's actually gonna be. A surprise to me, too!" Feza insisted. Oh, darn, now her voice was way too squeaky, and she decided that coughing would totally make such a thing seem more natural. Why was Aurum so concerned, anyways? The snow leopard dazed off briefly, not able to keep her attention focused. Didn't he have more important Proxy things to do than be worried about her? He probably did. She was taking up attention that was not hers to take. Stealing, that was what this was. Stealing attention that was not hers to have, not at all.

Feza's head lowered a little bit. Here she was, not causing anything festive to happen, and was instead making Aurum worry. Worry wasn't festive. She was taking up someone's time in the worst way, and that felt like a stake being skewered right through her. Her teeth clenched together, vibrant body stiffening up. She would hide it better, she couldn't have anyone worry about her! She didn't deserve the worry; her mind throwing that phrase to the forefront like a brick. She was the party thrower, that was her purpose. Feza turned her head to the side a little, paw lifting to nonchalantly wave. "I don't n-need sleep for that sort of thing. Don't, don't worry about silly little me. You've got lots of, you've got so much more important s-stuff to do. I'll be fine, see?" With her voice finally somewhat back to normal, the festive female flashed one of her ever present grins at the lion. Not even Feza, with months upon months of experience, was able to hide the dull and exhausted light present in her icy eyes. The smile was, of course, fake - most of them were. Her voice was fake, the joy was fake. It was a front for that one reason, that she was certainly not worth worrying about. She was here to make everyone else happy. Making concerns like this was the opposite of that purpose. Shameful. Shameful. She was absolutely a shame to the one purpose she had. That was the one thing that she was never able to forget. The snow leopard hiccuped, squinting her eyes shut. Was the blurriness the remnants of sleep, or were they tears? She certainly couldn't remember. "I-I'm fine."

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THE EMPTY CHAIRS WILL BE RESERVED FOR OUR PITY