01-12-2020, 01:06 AM
[align=center][div style="text-align:justify;width:55%;font-family:verdana;"]"Look at me, Roy. Listen."
There's so much that could be said about this situation. Roy's too young. He doesn't understand enough. He understands too much, and that's the worst part. The new Chaser made the wrong decision. The new Chaser's an asshole. He doesn't care that he's an asshole. He just wanted to make the kid cry, and sit a little higher on his horse for it. Now Aurum's gonna kick the scrawny Chaser's ass and everyone will laugh and reach for popcorn.
But if Miller knew anything - anything at all, beyond the mental spreadsheets and training regiments - he knew how it felt to hurt. To be hurting, constantly, bearing a weight that was set on his shoulders when he was far too young to carry it. They were born of the same path with different purposes, different goals, and there's a fair chance that Kaz failed to recognize that where he stood right now. Not everyone was meant to use their strength to break bones.
Somewhere on that path, Roy and Kaz diverged. When Roy chose to seek safety, to escape the things that ruined him and try again without the horrors of violence pressing in on all sides, a young and reckless Kazuhira sought that violence out. Given the tools, he could fight against the things that brought the hurt; better yet, he could win. It wasn't that he wanted to suffer or continue the fight, but angry and without the sense of control that others bore like their shields, he wanted to take a chunk of that unforgiving world and mold it in his hands. If he can iron out the creases and make something that feels right to him, make something good again, then he can make up for the things he couldn't do right the first time.
He knows that there's a certain amount of struggle before peace can be achieved. This is a part of that struggle.
"...I wouldn't have given you this task if I didn't think you could handle it." Nobody stands between them; Aurum or whoever else bothered to show, they stood unimportant as the feline took to Roy's height, looked him in the eye. He wants to be looking at a younger version of himself, see the child that had yet to approach the fork in the road - but Kazuhira knows, distantly, that he made his own choices long before he knew what he wanted. Roy is no different. He levels his voice anyway, low and calm. Maybe he couldn't do what he had first set out for - but he could teach it, and that was enough. "This isn't about The Pitt. It never was. I could've asked you to debate apples and oranges, I don't care - it's about you, Roy."
It's only then that he acknowledges the boy's father, offers him a slow nod. Of course Aurum would be angry. He should be; anyone could see that he made the wrong decision, and you could only backtrack so much. There was a chance that this seminar would disband before it could begin, and while Kaz would put on a face of displeasure for the sake of the image, he couldn't really blame them. "He's good with his words. I want him to focus on mediating - listening to tone, learning how to sit at a negotiation table. Keeping the peace."
It doesn't matter, at this point. It never mattered. He made the wrong choice. The kid's crying, for fuck's sake. Words are meaningless in the long run when it's the actions that count - they'd forget about this, and the new enemy of the week would pour over the borders all the same. He'd come to understand that these were formalities; hysteria was the only thing that kept people alive in the worst moments. Run and keep running. Kill or be killed. Talking about it was a waste of time - and yet, here they were, wasting time with tears to spare. So be it if they thought him cruel for asking Roy to stay, but he still wanted to see what the young peacemaker was capable of. He turns back to Roy. "I know you can do that."
Instructor-Master-Asshole Miller, not a day spent on the battlefield, still a rebel in the outskirts of the Beyond, barking orders to rogues that would die days later and be endlessly replaced, allows himself to find comfort in the fact that these useless preparations had a routine. Whatever is unforeseeable in their future, at least, for now, he can see this. "Aurum... Go ahead and start the debrief."
There's so much that could be said about this situation. Roy's too young. He doesn't understand enough. He understands too much, and that's the worst part. The new Chaser made the wrong decision. The new Chaser's an asshole. He doesn't care that he's an asshole. He just wanted to make the kid cry, and sit a little higher on his horse for it. Now Aurum's gonna kick the scrawny Chaser's ass and everyone will laugh and reach for popcorn.
But if Miller knew anything - anything at all, beyond the mental spreadsheets and training regiments - he knew how it felt to hurt. To be hurting, constantly, bearing a weight that was set on his shoulders when he was far too young to carry it. They were born of the same path with different purposes, different goals, and there's a fair chance that Kaz failed to recognize that where he stood right now. Not everyone was meant to use their strength to break bones.
Somewhere on that path, Roy and Kaz diverged. When Roy chose to seek safety, to escape the things that ruined him and try again without the horrors of violence pressing in on all sides, a young and reckless Kazuhira sought that violence out. Given the tools, he could fight against the things that brought the hurt; better yet, he could win. It wasn't that he wanted to suffer or continue the fight, but angry and without the sense of control that others bore like their shields, he wanted to take a chunk of that unforgiving world and mold it in his hands. If he can iron out the creases and make something that feels right to him, make something good again, then he can make up for the things he couldn't do right the first time.
He knows that there's a certain amount of struggle before peace can be achieved. This is a part of that struggle.
"...I wouldn't have given you this task if I didn't think you could handle it." Nobody stands between them; Aurum or whoever else bothered to show, they stood unimportant as the feline took to Roy's height, looked him in the eye. He wants to be looking at a younger version of himself, see the child that had yet to approach the fork in the road - but Kazuhira knows, distantly, that he made his own choices long before he knew what he wanted. Roy is no different. He levels his voice anyway, low and calm. Maybe he couldn't do what he had first set out for - but he could teach it, and that was enough. "This isn't about The Pitt. It never was. I could've asked you to debate apples and oranges, I don't care - it's about you, Roy."
It's only then that he acknowledges the boy's father, offers him a slow nod. Of course Aurum would be angry. He should be; anyone could see that he made the wrong decision, and you could only backtrack so much. There was a chance that this seminar would disband before it could begin, and while Kaz would put on a face of displeasure for the sake of the image, he couldn't really blame them. "He's good with his words. I want him to focus on mediating - listening to tone, learning how to sit at a negotiation table. Keeping the peace."
It doesn't matter, at this point. It never mattered. He made the wrong choice. The kid's crying, for fuck's sake. Words are meaningless in the long run when it's the actions that count - they'd forget about this, and the new enemy of the week would pour over the borders all the same. He'd come to understand that these were formalities; hysteria was the only thing that kept people alive in the worst moments. Run and keep running. Kill or be killed. Talking about it was a waste of time - and yet, here they were, wasting time with tears to spare. So be it if they thought him cruel for asking Roy to stay, but he still wanted to see what the young peacemaker was capable of. He turns back to Roy. "I know you can do that."
Instructor-Master-Asshole Miller, not a day spent on the battlefield, still a rebel in the outskirts of the Beyond, barking orders to rogues that would die days later and be endlessly replaced, allows himself to find comfort in the fact that these useless preparations had a routine. Whatever is unforeseeable in their future, at least, for now, he can see this. "Aurum... Go ahead and start the debrief."
[align=center][div style="font-size:12pt;font-family:verdana;color:#4c5461;letter-spacing:-2pt;"][i][b]—-— I GET [color=#4c5461]MEAN WHEN I'M
NERVOUS, LIKE A BAD DOG
NERVOUS, LIKE A BAD DOG