12-23-2019, 04:31 PM
[font=trebuchet ms]Rin really ought to have been sleeping.
She had almost died just a few days ago, and broken ribs took time to heal. She was breathing easier, and she could move to some extent without those persistent twinges of pain, but it was clear even to her that she was still injured. Playerone would not be happy if she were to leave the quarters where she was being kept.
Staring at a ceiling, however, was no help at all. All she could think about was the fact that everything was catching up to her, exactly as she'd feared. She'd been running, fleeing, because she knew she couldn't fight off the past once it caught her. The moment it sunk its poisoned fangs into her, it would be over. Simply acknowledging its existence in front of everyone had allowed it to gain on her, looming over her, ready to strike.
Thinking about it was like pulling teeth- something she now had some experience with, thanks to the Warrior.
She had gone out on a walk. A slow-paced walk, far from the borders, but the fresh air helped her think a little more clearly. With each step, taken as tenderly as possible to avoid aggravating her wounds, Rin pondered. Tena had insisted on backing her up against the gods, and Rin knew that trying to stop Tena once she'd set her mind to something was like trying to halt an oncoming train- it couldn't be done.
But Tena had also been angry, feeling insulted, lied to, betrayed. If given a few days to cool down, she might decide that perhaps she didn't need to attack the gods after all. That if Rin wanted to keep secrets from Elysium and refuse help, then Elysium might as well let her. The oath she'd sworn had been sworn under false pretense, so she might as well not be a member anyway, right?
That was what it ultimately came down to. Nemhain had said she needed to accept help, and Rin knew she was right- but accepting help and demanding help were two different things. If Tena, Playerone, Valerian, and the others were dead-set on offering her help against the gods, then that was one thing. But they might soon decide that she wasn't worth it, and if they did, she wasn't going to fight it.
They'd probably realize sooner or later that all of this wasn't worth caring about. In the heat of the moment, when they'd been faced with a wounded, grieving creature who insisted on dumping her trauma on them, there was no way they could make a logical decision. She should've known to wait until she was healed before explaining everything, and should've known not to bring her old home into this. She might as well have guilt-tripped them into helping her.
But in time, the situation would right itself. Reason would win out in the end.
Rin saw Lavi and Tena first, in the midst of the flower fields. Her first instinct was to turn around and walk back to the town- if they were sharing a moment, she wasn't going to interrupt, especially not after the events of a few days ago. At this distance, however, she happened to notice the smirk on Tena's face, and the way their eyes were cast up... towards the stars.
It was a beautiful night, orange and pink streaks coating the darkening sky as the sun sank down, the stars appearing in its wake. On any other night she might have considered this a flagrant display of the gods' power. On this night, though, she had company- a dear friend beside her.
Something about this didn't make sense, though. Turning and meeting those whiskey-colored eyes, she broke the silence.
"Why do we stargaze?" Rin murmured- and as the question spilled out, she noticed the empty space where the other feline had been, the sudden chill in the air. Staggering back slightly, she glanced around, taking in the dead flower fields, the frigid atmosphere, the darkness. Four people were here, and none of them were... none of them were her.
A bolt of pain shot through her chest, not caused by her injured ribs this time. Swallowing, Rin glanced down towards the grass. Of course it wasn't her, that had been... over three years ago. It was over. They would never have that again, she would never see her again.
She had to think about something else. Anything else. She couldn't leave and be alone with her thoughts, much as she hated the idea of being surrounded by all the people she'd hurt. "Valerian," Rin said suddenly, her eyes widened. Looking up at him and drawing slightly closer, she forced a false smile. "I meant to ask you about your snickerdoodle recipe."
She was ruining the moment for Lavi, Tena, and Lemy, she knew that full well, but she had to escape from the jaws of the past before they clamped down on her and never let go.
/this got rambly
She had almost died just a few days ago, and broken ribs took time to heal. She was breathing easier, and she could move to some extent without those persistent twinges of pain, but it was clear even to her that she was still injured. Playerone would not be happy if she were to leave the quarters where she was being kept.
Staring at a ceiling, however, was no help at all. All she could think about was the fact that everything was catching up to her, exactly as she'd feared. She'd been running, fleeing, because she knew she couldn't fight off the past once it caught her. The moment it sunk its poisoned fangs into her, it would be over. Simply acknowledging its existence in front of everyone had allowed it to gain on her, looming over her, ready to strike.
Thinking about it was like pulling teeth- something she now had some experience with, thanks to the Warrior.
She had gone out on a walk. A slow-paced walk, far from the borders, but the fresh air helped her think a little more clearly. With each step, taken as tenderly as possible to avoid aggravating her wounds, Rin pondered. Tena had insisted on backing her up against the gods, and Rin knew that trying to stop Tena once she'd set her mind to something was like trying to halt an oncoming train- it couldn't be done.
But Tena had also been angry, feeling insulted, lied to, betrayed. If given a few days to cool down, she might decide that perhaps she didn't need to attack the gods after all. That if Rin wanted to keep secrets from Elysium and refuse help, then Elysium might as well let her. The oath she'd sworn had been sworn under false pretense, so she might as well not be a member anyway, right?
That was what it ultimately came down to. Nemhain had said she needed to accept help, and Rin knew she was right- but accepting help and demanding help were two different things. If Tena, Playerone, Valerian, and the others were dead-set on offering her help against the gods, then that was one thing. But they might soon decide that she wasn't worth it, and if they did, she wasn't going to fight it.
They'd probably realize sooner or later that all of this wasn't worth caring about. In the heat of the moment, when they'd been faced with a wounded, grieving creature who insisted on dumping her trauma on them, there was no way they could make a logical decision. She should've known to wait until she was healed before explaining everything, and should've known not to bring her old home into this. She might as well have guilt-tripped them into helping her.
But in time, the situation would right itself. Reason would win out in the end.
Rin saw Lavi and Tena first, in the midst of the flower fields. Her first instinct was to turn around and walk back to the town- if they were sharing a moment, she wasn't going to interrupt, especially not after the events of a few days ago. At this distance, however, she happened to notice the smirk on Tena's face, and the way their eyes were cast up... towards the stars.
It was a beautiful night, orange and pink streaks coating the darkening sky as the sun sank down, the stars appearing in its wake. On any other night she might have considered this a flagrant display of the gods' power. On this night, though, she had company- a dear friend beside her.
Something about this didn't make sense, though. Turning and meeting those whiskey-colored eyes, she broke the silence.
"Why do we stargaze?" Rin murmured- and as the question spilled out, she noticed the empty space where the other feline had been, the sudden chill in the air. Staggering back slightly, she glanced around, taking in the dead flower fields, the frigid atmosphere, the darkness. Four people were here, and none of them were... none of them were her.
A bolt of pain shot through her chest, not caused by her injured ribs this time. Swallowing, Rin glanced down towards the grass. Of course it wasn't her, that had been... over three years ago. It was over. They would never have that again, she would never see her again.
She had to think about something else. Anything else. She couldn't leave and be alone with her thoughts, much as she hated the idea of being surrounded by all the people she'd hurt. "Valerian," Rin said suddenly, her eyes widened. Looking up at him and drawing slightly closer, she forced a false smile. "I meant to ask you about your snickerdoodle recipe."
She was ruining the moment for Lavi, Tena, and Lemy, she knew that full well, but she had to escape from the jaws of the past before they clamped down on her and never let go.
/this got rambly
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