NO WRONG ANSWERS ☆ drunk & gay

[arcy]

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Needless to say, Crowley startles at the touch of Aurum's head against his chest. The tone switch in itself had been jarring enough -- something casual, almost lazy into whatever this was. He's dealing with it though. He's dealing with it. He's doing his best not to tense. Thinking about him? Tail twitching, Crowley, already somewhat alarmed, rolls this over in his head*.
*It's already somewhat incomprehensible to him that he'd be considered even when he wasn't actively there
Then Aurum continues, confessing, and -- even then, true to his nature, Crowley is silent. Under the surfsce, an increasing sense of panic, but Crowley can -- roll with this. He can. Keep going over it in his head. He can't be blamed for a minute of silence over something so .. dramatic. Or, not dramatic, but the emotions were.
The thing is, though. Before all else, before Crowley even considers even his own feelings about this -- he doesn't want to hurt Aurum. He needs to buy some time.
But the thing is -- Crowley is starved for affection. And .. well, romantic affection, too. Six thousand years is a long time to pine, isn't it? Literally dreaming of that sort of thing. And it may not be the same person, they may not have the same history, but Crowley cares for him all the same. Maybe that's unfair -- that Crowley, who isn't one hundred convinced himself that he even loves Aurum, considering rolling with it. Crowley, who might consider Aurum second place.
You can't shake six thousand years off in just a few months
He does, however, consider it somewhat objectionable to do or talk about anything substantial while one of them is drunk. Aurum can't miracle himself undrunk. This does, however, give Crowley an opportunity.
... And maybe it's somewhat strange, that Crowley's mantaining even a sense of calm. It was something he was used to, though. Tucking away feelings to either deal with or not, at a better time. He couldn't be happy, or upset, or .. anything. Aurum was drunk, and Aurum was .. well, he looked genuine, but Crowley didn't have a sense worth enough to really believe him. It was nauseating -- Crowley was unlovable, that's why things had .. been the way they'd been, for him. A direct opposition to this frame of mind was ... well. He didn't exactly know how to deal with it.
Which mostly left Crowley with an impersonal sense of dread. Which was a recipe for disaster, in all truth.
"Guess it is," Crowley tries, words somewhat strangled as he struggles to come up with any at all. Buy some time, think about it later. Probably have to talk about it later, too, unless Aurum forgot. Crowley was hoping for that, but he wasn't sure. Crowley may have been a bit of an alcoholic, but he'd never actually had to deal with the aftermath before.
Belatedly, Crowley really hates how he feels at the idea of being told that this was important. Or how, even drunk, Aurum is being so careful.
Instead of impulsively shredding these feelings to bit without even thinking of them, he carefully tucks them away for later surveying. He's in a bit of a corner, it seems -- just another thing he can't .. not deal with*.
*Crowley can Not Deal with anything he wants to, honestly.
Hope Aurum didn't have any dirt in his eyes.
"Aurum," Crowley says, with the tone of someone about to say something mighty important. "You're drunk," Ah, a classic. His tail is twitching and, alright, he's probably about to get some hopes up, but .. well. We already went over that, didn't we? It's a somewhat cold move, to consider reprociating without being sure of how genuine it was, but nobody had ever accused Crowley of being good at feelings. "We can ... We can talk about it later, when you're not," Well, this fucking sucks. He's still trying not to tense. Aurum is still leaning into him, he'd know. Cool as a cucumber, implying there was anything to talk about when Crowley hadn't even thought about it himself.
Fuck.

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