INDEPENDENT TOGETHER ☆ adoption

[spacexual]

i heard you were looking like the moon — tags

Did he regret running away? No. Not really. It was for the greater good. It was better off he was left alone, away from any society, until he at least could figure out how to stop setting everything on fire. No one would get hurt that way.

Most of his memories were avoided. Blurs passing through his mind as voices urged him, pleaded him, scolded him. They wanted him to remember. They did not want to be forgotten. And, he does not want to forget them either, but his body could not handle the idea of thinking about them. It felt as if blood stained his paws, and he could never wash them off, no matter how much water, soap, scrubbing applied. He didn't want to be a weapon. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

But, maybe it's not about what he wants. He may be free, but he is not totally removed from his origins, his chains. The experiment inside would not go away so easily.

When Wormwood finds him, it is scary. His first instinct is to let the male know he's done wrong - to acknowledge he deserves punishment. He doesn't want it, but he cannot stop it. It was so terrifying, he does not even know how they will punish him now. The threats used against the other cannot be applied now, and beating him was something he has gone numb to. How would these people try to discipline him?

Through words, it would seem. But not in a cruel manner. He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why he is being treated this way. He did something wrong. He hurt someone's friend. Maybe they are tricking him, so the punishment will hurt worse when he's let his guard down.

But, now, does he really believe that?

The walk home, he holds his head low, looking about him carefully with his flames crackling along his sides. He does not know what to think or say during it all. So, he doesn't say much of anything. Why were they taking him back? He cannot figure it out. Why were they being so nice to him?

And then they arrive, and the hellhound lingers. More words. He blinks in a mixture of confusion and surprise.

The concept of having family is foreign to the boy, and he is not so sure how Wormwood's invitation is supposed to make him feel. There was a point in time he had wanted them all to be a family. The doctor to be their good and wise father, and Bo to be his brother. But, it didn't turn out that way. It never would have. He had believed, and he still truly does, that everyone is capable of being good, but the doctor would never choose to be good. He never would have. At least, not fully. And he has accepted that part, at least, by now. He is an experiment. He has no true family - no parents, no siblings, and no rights. Almost like if scientists were to clone a rat, with nothing more than their tools. That is how he formed. No mother, and certainly no father. What family could have meant was an idea lost to him.

He had no rights before, how could he deny the invitation now? He had no ground to deny anything. They had specifically been told, when learning of laws and politics, "this does not apply to you". They aren't citizens. He is not even truly a member of Tanglewood now. He cannot join them in the forest or the town, he cannot explore their territory past their expansive swamp, and most members did not even know who he was, because he is simply too defensive to meet most of them, despite this constant craving of...friendship, that he is not sure he can truly even trust. Yet, Wormwood gave him the choice, and he gave him the time of day, and he has not hurt him. He touched him. He has never truly scolded him or punished him or done anything that has genuinely upset him. It almost seemed like he wished for Roy to trust him. One part of him tells him it is a trap. The other desires to reciprocate, to give back.

Imagine that, a weapon learning to have faith in someone again.

"Okay." Is all he can muster up as a response, voice quiet as he sits down, head hanging low. He cannot comprehend still. Why would someone want all of this? He is an experiment. He lives and sees and feels where the other cannot, and they had been determined to make their place in society. But, Roy has not done that yet. He knows he hasn't. The world is still a stranger to him - he's never even seen the inside of a regular house before, or seen the forest, or been on any mountains, or island. He's still so confused about socializing. Speaking is difficult most times. He does not know what others like to talk about or how to make others like him or how to have friends. None of it makes any sense to him yet.

One thing is for certain, though. Accepting to be the son of Wormwood would mean that the male could have more control over him than any other living individual. He is tired of being controlled.

"Please don't lock me away."