rider of the storm ● kydobi

[bai shi]

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[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" my own illusion come to be "

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aaaa,,, their whole family literally sucks at love rofl //
(jerisidie's father was considered the god of love in cannon lore for their entire story lol. the god hates his descendants lol)
sorry in advance for any angst this causes, I've got angst muse ///

relaxing at the deep rough purr and his touch, they breathed out softly, licking their lips and hesitantly moving to nuzzle him if allowed before they stopped short of it, pulling back. they gave their own awkward chirp and purr as he began to groom between their ears, tail faintly wagging in enjoyment. "if it was my last life, then I would still give it to protect my family and friends from a tyrant like him. I would give anything to keep them safe and I know you would do the same. it is not worth it to lose your life for him, either kydobi, not when you have ramona to care for. my children have others to rely on if they hatch.", they murmur, looking at him in return, painfully drawn in by his amber eyes.

they looked away as he spoke, saying that he was no good. they were careful to let nothing slip through their mask, gazing silently at the wavering sunflowers, sighing only and stretching slightly. "you didn't misread it, even if it's not what was wished. apologies.", they murmur faintly, eyes closing off once more to the world. they had something, something that they could never consider their own. someone that they could not call home, that they could not tell of their affections. he was within touching distance, but the way that their foolish heart yearned for, was a path closed to them. it was not theirs. swallowing a breath they closed their eyes and reopened them in a slow blink, contemplating words and actions. they were a piece of stone, wearing a mask that they had made their face a long time ago.

"its fine. perhaps joining groups would be helpful. one for war and one against it.", soft laughter, pushing past the hurt and insecurity as if it was just nothing, as if they were used to treating emotion like nothing, treating it as useless. emotion was just that to them, a weakness that would kill them eventually. he was not alone in his fears of not being enough, of not being good enough.

"if the clans join, we have other things to speak of. let it be further in the future to let wounds heal.", a warning? their voice was even, still, unaffected by the storm raging behind their eyes, the pain pressuring on their optics, wanting to be released. pushing back with a semi visible quirk of the lips, anger building up in their tiny body.

carefully breathing out, they cooled it down and molded it into something more useful, pushing back as their ears flicked in agitated thought, several sayings and words going through their minds but nothing could fix this situation. "let nature take its path and if he does not correct himself, let karma befall him. i have my own demons to kill before anything other than waging war comes to the front. and they all lay here, waiting.", they laughed, getting up and stretching their limbs, wading to the tall stalks of sunflowers, looking at the bright blooms above, tail flicking.

"would his pride be enough, little dawn? would his honesty keep back the memories? would his purity cast impurity? would his soul breathe life in his body again, little wisdom?", they wonder aloud, standing by a boulder with foreign characters and the translation of the name 'Asteri' beneath it, scratched into the weather worn surface. they reached up to behead a sunflower, laying the bloom upon the grave marker, nudging the scratches before sighing and shaking their body, "let this pass as a minor disturbance in the regular day to day routine. shall we continue as friends? or leave that path and treat each other as respected foreign companions?", they ask of him suddenly, turning to look at him with a quiet question in their eyes. had they ruined their only friendship with the very same emotion that betrayed them in the past?