04-19-2018, 10:18 AM
there were words of reassurance at first. he'd help him find husani, it was as if the world was trying to tease him, like waving a bone in front of a dog with no intention of passing it over. cruelty in its plainest form. as each moment passed the desperation clinging to him only seemed to worsen, the tears, rather than dry up began to shed, the jaguar so caught up in his emotions that he hardly even noticed. though maybe he should've. his sight was beginning to wave and blur, the tears forming a protective barrier across his eyes, maybe, maybe if he couldn't see him properly it wouldn't hurt so much? though that was only wishful thinking. it still hurt, actually, it only seemed to get worse. his mind was beginning to spiral, plummet, all the ifs and buts of the situation ramming against the walls of his head like a racket. he wanted it to stop. he wanted everything stop. though it was then that it happened. a spark that pulled him upward just a little bit, that offered him the chance to see the light in the distance. there was hesitation. hesitation meant doubt and doubt meant, well, it meant something. it meant that there was something deep inside of amun that was scratching at a wall in his memory, begging it to come down and let the memories free. that hesitation, cairos clung to that, his breath hitching in his throat. cairos couldn't let this go, no, all he had to do was build on that doubt and maybe, maybe he could get somewhere.
"yes!" his vision was slowly beginning to clear once more, though the desperate whine in his voice hadn't left. he needed this, he needed to convince amun to believe him. how? how did you tell someone about their past when they had no idea it existed? it sounded impossible but impossible, that wasn't an option right now. all those centuries ago, he'd believed that saving husani would be impossible and yet, here he stood. it wasn't all of him, it wasn't all the parts of him that cairos had loved, still loved, but it was something. "you were," it was a rushed response, one that was barely thought out but, boy, was it filled with hope. hope that maybe, just maybe he could dig at the wall in amun's mind, that maybe he could tear him free of his fabricated memories and the lies of his existence. he could save him once more. at least, he hoped so. as much as hated the gods, hated everyone that played any sort of hand in this, he found himself praying. to who? he wasn't sure, but he was. he was praying for husani to recognise him, to recognise something. whether it was the spark of an old memory, his name, how he had become what he now was, he didn't care what it was, as long as it was something.
cairos found himself shaking his head wildly, had he been in any rational state of mind he would've questioned who amunet was, perhaps he would've even tried to go after her. afterall, it seemed she was the culprit of this. this false identity and these fake beliefs of being incapable of becoming sick. if she cared for amun, she would have told him the truth, she would have told him everything. yet, he'd been hidden away, kept from secrets of his own existence, it was wrong, but kai would argue that later. "you can, you did! i- you can't get sick now because of what you are, what you've become but, husani, you weren't... this isn't who you were. you were sick, so so sick, and i asked for help i-" he paused, what had he done? there was a blank in his memory there, one that confused him and made his mind reel for a moment. he'd sworn that something big had happened and yet, no, that didn't matter right now. the jaguar stepped forward a little, his confidence shaky but present. "i helped make you into this to try and save your life, i-i'm sorry husani, i'm sorry i didn't find you sooner." the tears had begun to well up again and he wished he could just lock amun in an embrace and yet, he couldn't.
silence fell over the jaguar at belladonna's words, the despaired expression on his face only seems to deepen. he didn't know what tea was and frankly, he didn't want any. it was of no fault of hers, but the emotions inside him were strong and had been repressed for so long, it was like a bomb had gone off, and as it appeared, it had left only distraught in its wake. "no, please, this isn't a misunderstanding, he needs to know, he needs to remember! please."
"yes!" his vision was slowly beginning to clear once more, though the desperate whine in his voice hadn't left. he needed this, he needed to convince amun to believe him. how? how did you tell someone about their past when they had no idea it existed? it sounded impossible but impossible, that wasn't an option right now. all those centuries ago, he'd believed that saving husani would be impossible and yet, here he stood. it wasn't all of him, it wasn't all the parts of him that cairos had loved, still loved, but it was something. "you were," it was a rushed response, one that was barely thought out but, boy, was it filled with hope. hope that maybe, just maybe he could dig at the wall in amun's mind, that maybe he could tear him free of his fabricated memories and the lies of his existence. he could save him once more. at least, he hoped so. as much as hated the gods, hated everyone that played any sort of hand in this, he found himself praying. to who? he wasn't sure, but he was. he was praying for husani to recognise him, to recognise something. whether it was the spark of an old memory, his name, how he had become what he now was, he didn't care what it was, as long as it was something.
cairos found himself shaking his head wildly, had he been in any rational state of mind he would've questioned who amunet was, perhaps he would've even tried to go after her. afterall, it seemed she was the culprit of this. this false identity and these fake beliefs of being incapable of becoming sick. if she cared for amun, she would have told him the truth, she would have told him everything. yet, he'd been hidden away, kept from secrets of his own existence, it was wrong, but kai would argue that later. "you can, you did! i- you can't get sick now because of what you are, what you've become but, husani, you weren't... this isn't who you were. you were sick, so so sick, and i asked for help i-" he paused, what had he done? there was a blank in his memory there, one that confused him and made his mind reel for a moment. he'd sworn that something big had happened and yet, no, that didn't matter right now. the jaguar stepped forward a little, his confidence shaky but present. "i helped make you into this to try and save your life, i-i'm sorry husani, i'm sorry i didn't find you sooner." the tears had begun to well up again and he wished he could just lock amun in an embrace and yet, he couldn't.
silence fell over the jaguar at belladonna's words, the despaired expression on his face only seems to deepen. he didn't know what tea was and frankly, he didn't want any. it was of no fault of hers, but the emotions inside him were strong and had been repressed for so long, it was like a bomb had gone off, and as it appeared, it had left only distraught in its wake. "no, please, this isn't a misunderstanding, he needs to know, he needs to remember! please."