04-18-2018, 11:23 PM
YOU'LL KNOW I WASN'T JOKING WHEN YOU SEE THEM TOO
Argus was not a creature that could be considered elegant or graceful. She was always two steps away from a rageing beast. One breath shy of savage. A monster carfeully wrappted in feathers and fur. Argus had been realized with this power under her fur, curling under her skin. For now it was dormant, but for the logest time it was blazing inferno, ichor poisioning mortal frame- spending her mornings filled with shakes and hideing nose-bleeds under carefully black fur.
She has memories of letting that think under her skin fester. Letting it rise and change her. Fur and feathers morphing to ivory and scales, to skin and cartilage. She has memories of her bones aching and the blood dripping down her entire frame. Of letting out a beyond wild howl in joy as she festered and feasted. Indulging until she was heaving for breaths, choking on the cries of her prey and gasping through lungfuls of gorging.
Argus was not made of anything nice. She was made of memories of monsters and stitched- glued together out of broken fragile things. She felt a hairs away from breaking at least twice a day, and even now. Along this beach, she felt herself tremble- fear to call it home. Felt herself seethe in anger when something mildly annoying comes to pester her. She is dangerous, all claws and bites and venom. She is made of things that are not gentle and expects fully to become something similar. She counts on it, it's why she keeps herself distant, keeps her ties small and heartfelt. Keeps those few connections possessively and with the same fragility, she is made of.
To admit a fraction of her sins is like pushing a paw willingly into harm. But nothing as physical, as deservingp as it should be- because she deserves to hold it close. To bottle it up until they all explode and she is left with the pieces again- because it is how it ends- how it always ends. So when she utters to the truth, the relief is minuscule in the imagery of the beast- the night pinning her until she is gasping for breath. Until the very thing, she fears growls at her to remind her that she is a not a monster but something made of filth and watches as she squirms into the sandy beach. Maybe even leave her body as an example.
When Lucifer moves she does not flinch. She breathes deeply- quickly and quietly. And his wing settles around her form she does not realize she is shaking until she presses up against his support. She does not think she is crying until she can spot the blurring edges of where his serrated teeth turn into a red line down his jaw as he breathes a response.
I do not hate you Argus.
Not anymore
She has never been able to meet his eyes. Now here she lowers her head, not in shame but to blink away the sea that's dripping from her eyes. "I have done so much in the name of a family. I am undeserving of one. I abandoned my own, I destroyed yours. Lucifer, I am sorry." Her voice is quivering. Breath stuttering between a skittering tongue and she tries to breathe deep again and it comes out choked. A gasp as she tries to breathe between the pain. "I have run to the clan that killed my son and saw fit to join them. I forgot his sacrifice as I found a daughter and i watched it all get ripped away. Lucifer- it hurts."
She was unstable, she was breakable and shakeable and ash. It clotted her tongue with the memory of regret and she tries to push it down. Tries to fix what broken hole there is inside her soul but she can't. SHe is broken and he wants to acknolege her? Forgive her? Can he not see what she's done?
"I wish it would end. I wish i could forget. But they scream. They won't leave me be and i hear them and they won't stop. They're s c r e a m i n g. They won't let me rest. They won't let me do anything." It was breaking again as she hushed her faults to the only parental role she had ever seen in her life. The only one that has stayed long enough to glimpse what is in her eyes and not run away in fear. Here he is telling her she is family and she is terrified. Terrified that he'll leave her too now that she has him.
She cannot handle being left alone again.
SHe [b]won't she'll b r e a k.
She has memories of letting that think under her skin fester. Letting it rise and change her. Fur and feathers morphing to ivory and scales, to skin and cartilage. She has memories of her bones aching and the blood dripping down her entire frame. Of letting out a beyond wild howl in joy as she festered and feasted. Indulging until she was heaving for breaths, choking on the cries of her prey and gasping through lungfuls of gorging.
Argus was not made of anything nice. She was made of memories of monsters and stitched- glued together out of broken fragile things. She felt a hairs away from breaking at least twice a day, and even now. Along this beach, she felt herself tremble- fear to call it home. Felt herself seethe in anger when something mildly annoying comes to pester her. She is dangerous, all claws and bites and venom. She is made of things that are not gentle and expects fully to become something similar. She counts on it, it's why she keeps herself distant, keeps her ties small and heartfelt. Keeps those few connections possessively and with the same fragility, she is made of.
To admit a fraction of her sins is like pushing a paw willingly into harm. But nothing as physical, as deservingp as it should be- because she deserves to hold it close. To bottle it up until they all explode and she is left with the pieces again- because it is how it ends- how it always ends. So when she utters to the truth, the relief is minuscule in the imagery of the beast- the night pinning her until she is gasping for breath. Until the very thing, she fears growls at her to remind her that she is a not a monster but something made of filth and watches as she squirms into the sandy beach. Maybe even leave her body as an example.
When Lucifer moves she does not flinch. She breathes deeply- quickly and quietly. And his wing settles around her form she does not realize she is shaking until she presses up against his support. She does not think she is crying until she can spot the blurring edges of where his serrated teeth turn into a red line down his jaw as he breathes a response.
I do not hate you Argus.
Not anymore
She has never been able to meet his eyes. Now here she lowers her head, not in shame but to blink away the sea that's dripping from her eyes. "I have done so much in the name of a family. I am undeserving of one. I abandoned my own, I destroyed yours. Lucifer, I am sorry." Her voice is quivering. Breath stuttering between a skittering tongue and she tries to breathe deep again and it comes out choked. A gasp as she tries to breathe between the pain. "I have run to the clan that killed my son and saw fit to join them. I forgot his sacrifice as I found a daughter and i watched it all get ripped away. Lucifer- it hurts."
She was unstable, she was breakable and shakeable and ash. It clotted her tongue with the memory of regret and she tries to push it down. Tries to fix what broken hole there is inside her soul but she can't. SHe is broken and he wants to acknolege her? Forgive her? Can he not see what she's done?
"I wish it would end. I wish i could forget. But they scream. They won't leave me be and i hear them and they won't stop. They're s c r e a m i n g. They won't let me rest. They won't let me do anything." It was breaking again as she hushed her faults to the only parental role she had ever seen in her life. The only one that has stayed long enough to glimpse what is in her eyes and not run away in fear. Here he is telling her she is family and she is terrified. Terrified that he'll leave her too now that she has him.
She cannot handle being left alone again.
SHe [b]won't she'll b r e a k.