11-13-2018, 06:36 PM
[align=center][div style="border-width:0px; width: 60%; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 140%;word-spacing:-1px;"]Perhaps it was an opinion of his. Ren would be the first to admit he definitely held a bias towards the pretty femme. No matter what, she always came first. When trouble surfaced, he saw no one but Delilah. When he was in pain, he sought her - not only because she is the medic. When he thinks he can't go on anymore, a single cherry blossom petal gave him countless of reasons to carry on. He wasn't sure what standards they have in the faerie world she grew up in, but he thought she was wonderful the way she was. That was definitely an opinion considering the individuals she grew up with had contrasting views. They were fools if they deemed an individual’s value based off of something so shallow like appearances. It was aggravating to know she was mistreated all her life and she seems to be alright with it, something Ren couldn't wrap his head around. Why wasn't she angry? Didn't she want revenge for the way everyone treated her? She must hold some type of malice deep within her, right? The wildcat definitely still had some anger for his tribe and himself. Let's not forget how she tried to drown herself due to the long time mental, physical and emotional abuse. All she had to do was say the word and Ren could bring back the dead bodies of her tormentors. On second thought, it was okay if Delilah wasn't upset or angry about what she went through because he had enough rage for the both of them. Tearing down jungles, drying up oceans... He'd find a way to do them all if it meant locating those who severely done her and him wrong. The demon rarely forgives and forgets.
Because of that and several other key factors - just to name a few, massacring a large amount of individuals at once and torturing others over a period of time - he wasn't perfect. It was comforting to hear her say so and he embraced the warmth that intertwined her words, but the small voice of doubt that lingered in his mind whispered otherwise. You're a monster, it hissed with a smile. The perfect monster. A natural-born killer. You will live for all eternity, forced to recount everything you did. Ren swallowed hard, shoving back the tiny gremlin of a thought into a box and mentally throwing it into the ocean. A meaningless action as the "death" of one is always replaced with another. He will always have doubts, especially those concerning himself. He was flawed... They were flawed... But despite thinking he himself was the scum of the earth, she was on the opposite end of the spectrum. She was perfect in his eyes. In every which way possible. Delilah was everything he couldn't be and he relied on her to balance him out. He suppose she could say the same for him, hence why she thought he was perfect. It was amusing to know both hate themselves but found no flaw in one another... Coincidentally, it made Ren dislike himself a little less. Shaking his head, he spoke softly. "I am not... But I am glad you think so." Forgiving himself, coming to terms with his flaws and improving on himself isn't something that could happen in a couple days. The same for Delilah. As slow as it was, with her here the road to recovery felt much more bearable.
His breath caught at his throat when she beckoned him, his muscles tightening as he stiffened. Eyes remaining shut, his whiskers twitched when he heard the ginger sound of her approaching. As she sat down before him, he opened one eye to see her reaching up once more. Not before he noticed her gaze. It was hard to ignore the admiration that she had for him and it made his heart sink. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve any of it. One day, she'll find someone more worthy of her time and he will be carefully placed on a shelf. Not out of sight nor out of mind, just unneeded. Will he be alright when that day comes? No, whether he was alright with it or not meant very little to the situation. Delilah was more than capable of making decisions for herself and that includes who to let in and out of her life. As he forehead was brought closer to his own, Ren lowered his head slightly to accommodate for the high difference. What was she going to share with him this time? Is it bad? Frightening? Was he going to get angry again? The latter had a high probability of happening. He was thankful, though, that this is the way their memories were shared. It was a small gesture, but it felt sweet and brimming with affection. He refrained from touching her unless necessary, so this was a pleasant exception.
To say the very least, he wasn't expecting her to show him their first encounter. It... It wasn't his best moments if he was being honest. He was much more lost and frightened than he's ever been and he was going to take it out on her. He could have killed her and he would not have thought twice about it. Why was she showing him this? Was... Was that what he looked like? He looked every bit like the predator he was trained to be. The growl sent a shiver down his spine and the malicious air that hung thick around his broad frame made him sick to his stomach. But as he listened to the exchange, he couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his maw. Yes, he remembers that clearly. Even afterwards he continued to call her "Miss Evergarden" but not without her scolding him not to do so. Even now, he sometimes has to remind himself to call her by her first name and not her last. As happy as he was the encounter didn't end in bloodshed, he was still confused as to why she would show him something like that. But all seemed to clear up when she giggled, doing her best not to shed anymore tears. Ren thought he was done crying himself but the last bit caught him off-guard.
"I could never truly be scared of you, Renny."
Though they didn't fall this time, his eyes grew watery once more. Hearing that broke him and put him together again. It killed him, before bringing him back to life. He never thought he needed to hear something so badly and not know what it is. The lump in his throat swelled and he found it hard to respond. How would be respond anyways? The emotions that festered inside of him were all jumbled together and his thoughts were no different. He couldn't name was it was, but something just snapped into place. The demon, a once great warrior who was feared and revered all his life now grew weak and soft because of a single sentence spoken to him by someone he cared about. This... This friendly affection and kindness was used as a tool for domination in his tribe. Hollow compliments and face-value actions were all tools for oppression. It was meaningless when his tribe did it as they don't value such frivolous things like authentic positive emotions. He still found it hard to understand how she did it so naturally while it takes him a bit longer, just to make sure it was his true feelings and not an unconscious attempt to lure her into a false sense of security before striking. You know... What he was trained to do.
Still at a loss for words, the lynx struggled to hold back wrapping her in his arms and thanking her repeatedly. Nodding his head slowly, he was thankful when she continued to show him her memories. In turn, this gave him something else to focus on in contrast to holding her tight and not letting go. These memories were familiar too. All of them were of the two creatures and the time spent together. All those moments weren't anything particularly special to him because he knew that's what he needed to do. He needed to always be there for her, no matter what. Though, he suppose because of her level of importance to him - it was very high - every moment would be special, he just never took the time to acknowledge it as such. Ever since he joined Tanglewood, that has been his normal. Keeping an eye on her, making sure to offer assistance anywhere he can as for her to not to feel stressed, always making sure she's safe and many more. Her safety and happiness is and will always be his number one priority... Nevertheless, it was nice to know his efforts were not going unnoticed.
When she broke the connection by stumbling back, Ren stretched out to catch her if she fell. He himself felt a bit drained, so he could only imagine how Delilah must feel considering she was the main contributor to their mental exchange. When he saw she was planted firmly on the ground, he drew back as she continued to speak. Even if he hurts her, she'll forgive him? Bullshit! She... She should not forgive him! If he ever hurts her, he does not deserve her forgiveness! What she should- need to do is yell at him. Tell him off! Get mad and hurt him back! Make him feel what it's like and then some for good measure. A sort of warning that if he ever does it again, she won't hesitate to bring him down. He has a track record of being just as ruthless to those who wronged him and yet, she'll forgive him just like that. The lynx bit down hard on his lip and despite his brain screaming at him to refute, his heart told him to accept it. She'll always forgive you, it hummed. Don't do anything that forces her to forgive you, it finished with a warn. She'll never have to forgive him because he'll never do anything to harm her. Blinking away tears, dark red eyes watched as she rose from her position and disappeared behind a raspberry bush. Tilting his head in confusion, Ren followed after her. Getting through proved to be a bit more challenging as his larger build snagged on every twig. However, when he finally emerged through the other side, a shimmering moderately sized lake and blades of grass being woven into a soft blanket greeted him. It was hard not to gaze at the scene in awe as Delilah seated herself on the newly made blanket large enough for the two of them.
Her gentle tone seemed to melt away all his anxieties and nervousness. Most of them anyways. Giving himself a shake to brush off the leaves and twigs that caught on his fur from the bush, he walked over to join her. Carefully seating himself beside her, he hadn't noticed her slip of he tongue and instead paid attention to what she said as a whole. "Yes... Okay." He agreed with a gentle smile reserved only for her followed by a nod of his head. He was a bit weary of her going off alone, but he didn't want to ruin this blissful moment with his worrying.
Because of that and several other key factors - just to name a few, massacring a large amount of individuals at once and torturing others over a period of time - he wasn't perfect. It was comforting to hear her say so and he embraced the warmth that intertwined her words, but the small voice of doubt that lingered in his mind whispered otherwise. You're a monster, it hissed with a smile. The perfect monster. A natural-born killer. You will live for all eternity, forced to recount everything you did. Ren swallowed hard, shoving back the tiny gremlin of a thought into a box and mentally throwing it into the ocean. A meaningless action as the "death" of one is always replaced with another. He will always have doubts, especially those concerning himself. He was flawed... They were flawed... But despite thinking he himself was the scum of the earth, she was on the opposite end of the spectrum. She was perfect in his eyes. In every which way possible. Delilah was everything he couldn't be and he relied on her to balance him out. He suppose she could say the same for him, hence why she thought he was perfect. It was amusing to know both hate themselves but found no flaw in one another... Coincidentally, it made Ren dislike himself a little less. Shaking his head, he spoke softly. "I am not... But I am glad you think so." Forgiving himself, coming to terms with his flaws and improving on himself isn't something that could happen in a couple days. The same for Delilah. As slow as it was, with her here the road to recovery felt much more bearable.
His breath caught at his throat when she beckoned him, his muscles tightening as he stiffened. Eyes remaining shut, his whiskers twitched when he heard the ginger sound of her approaching. As she sat down before him, he opened one eye to see her reaching up once more. Not before he noticed her gaze. It was hard to ignore the admiration that she had for him and it made his heart sink. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve any of it. One day, she'll find someone more worthy of her time and he will be carefully placed on a shelf. Not out of sight nor out of mind, just unneeded. Will he be alright when that day comes? No, whether he was alright with it or not meant very little to the situation. Delilah was more than capable of making decisions for herself and that includes who to let in and out of her life. As he forehead was brought closer to his own, Ren lowered his head slightly to accommodate for the high difference. What was she going to share with him this time? Is it bad? Frightening? Was he going to get angry again? The latter had a high probability of happening. He was thankful, though, that this is the way their memories were shared. It was a small gesture, but it felt sweet and brimming with affection. He refrained from touching her unless necessary, so this was a pleasant exception.
To say the very least, he wasn't expecting her to show him their first encounter. It... It wasn't his best moments if he was being honest. He was much more lost and frightened than he's ever been and he was going to take it out on her. He could have killed her and he would not have thought twice about it. Why was she showing him this? Was... Was that what he looked like? He looked every bit like the predator he was trained to be. The growl sent a shiver down his spine and the malicious air that hung thick around his broad frame made him sick to his stomach. But as he listened to the exchange, he couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his maw. Yes, he remembers that clearly. Even afterwards he continued to call her "Miss Evergarden" but not without her scolding him not to do so. Even now, he sometimes has to remind himself to call her by her first name and not her last. As happy as he was the encounter didn't end in bloodshed, he was still confused as to why she would show him something like that. But all seemed to clear up when she giggled, doing her best not to shed anymore tears. Ren thought he was done crying himself but the last bit caught him off-guard.
"I could never truly be scared of you, Renny."
Though they didn't fall this time, his eyes grew watery once more. Hearing that broke him and put him together again. It killed him, before bringing him back to life. He never thought he needed to hear something so badly and not know what it is. The lump in his throat swelled and he found it hard to respond. How would be respond anyways? The emotions that festered inside of him were all jumbled together and his thoughts were no different. He couldn't name was it was, but something just snapped into place. The demon, a once great warrior who was feared and revered all his life now grew weak and soft because of a single sentence spoken to him by someone he cared about. This... This friendly affection and kindness was used as a tool for domination in his tribe. Hollow compliments and face-value actions were all tools for oppression. It was meaningless when his tribe did it as they don't value such frivolous things like authentic positive emotions. He still found it hard to understand how she did it so naturally while it takes him a bit longer, just to make sure it was his true feelings and not an unconscious attempt to lure her into a false sense of security before striking. You know... What he was trained to do.
Still at a loss for words, the lynx struggled to hold back wrapping her in his arms and thanking her repeatedly. Nodding his head slowly, he was thankful when she continued to show him her memories. In turn, this gave him something else to focus on in contrast to holding her tight and not letting go. These memories were familiar too. All of them were of the two creatures and the time spent together. All those moments weren't anything particularly special to him because he knew that's what he needed to do. He needed to always be there for her, no matter what. Though, he suppose because of her level of importance to him - it was very high - every moment would be special, he just never took the time to acknowledge it as such. Ever since he joined Tanglewood, that has been his normal. Keeping an eye on her, making sure to offer assistance anywhere he can as for her to not to feel stressed, always making sure she's safe and many more. Her safety and happiness is and will always be his number one priority... Nevertheless, it was nice to know his efforts were not going unnoticed.
When she broke the connection by stumbling back, Ren stretched out to catch her if she fell. He himself felt a bit drained, so he could only imagine how Delilah must feel considering she was the main contributor to their mental exchange. When he saw she was planted firmly on the ground, he drew back as she continued to speak. Even if he hurts her, she'll forgive him? Bullshit! She... She should not forgive him! If he ever hurts her, he does not deserve her forgiveness! What she should- need to do is yell at him. Tell him off! Get mad and hurt him back! Make him feel what it's like and then some for good measure. A sort of warning that if he ever does it again, she won't hesitate to bring him down. He has a track record of being just as ruthless to those who wronged him and yet, she'll forgive him just like that. The lynx bit down hard on his lip and despite his brain screaming at him to refute, his heart told him to accept it. She'll always forgive you, it hummed. Don't do anything that forces her to forgive you, it finished with a warn. She'll never have to forgive him because he'll never do anything to harm her. Blinking away tears, dark red eyes watched as she rose from her position and disappeared behind a raspberry bush. Tilting his head in confusion, Ren followed after her. Getting through proved to be a bit more challenging as his larger build snagged on every twig. However, when he finally emerged through the other side, a shimmering moderately sized lake and blades of grass being woven into a soft blanket greeted him. It was hard not to gaze at the scene in awe as Delilah seated herself on the newly made blanket large enough for the two of them.
Her gentle tone seemed to melt away all his anxieties and nervousness. Most of them anyways. Giving himself a shake to brush off the leaves and twigs that caught on his fur from the bush, he walked over to join her. Carefully seating himself beside her, he hadn't noticed her slip of he tongue and instead paid attention to what she said as a whole. "Yes... Okay." He agreed with a gentle smile reserved only for her followed by a nod of his head. He was a bit weary of her going off alone, but he didn't want to ruin this blissful moment with his worrying.
[align=center][div style="font-size:14.4pt;line-height:.9;color:#000;font-family:impact;padding:8px;letter-spacing:.7px"]JOYFUL TEARS, THROUGH BLOOD APPEARS
— A HEART OF LEAD AND COPPER —[div style="font-size:7pt;line-height:1.2;color:#000;font-family:arial;margin-top:2px;margin-bottom:5px;letter-spacing:0px;margin-left:0px;text-align:center;text-transform:uppercase"][[ information ]] [[ plotting ]] [[ penned by raiden ]]
— A HEART OF LEAD AND COPPER —[div style="font-size:7pt;line-height:1.2;color:#000;font-family:arial;margin-top:2px;margin-bottom:5px;letter-spacing:0px;margin-left:0px;text-align:center;text-transform:uppercase"][[ information ]] [[ plotting ]] [[ penned by raiden ]]