queen of hearts ;; delilah

[cavalrychoir]

[align=center][div style="border-width:0px; width: 60%; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 140%;word-spacing:-1px;"]A burden. The thought alone was enough to make him weak, sick and furious at the same time. It was like being punched several times in the stomach and stabbed several more. Everything was suddenly too overwhelming and he knew better than to say anything else he may say something he'll regret. He didn't have enough control over himself to say what was on his mind without being malicious about it but it hurt to see someone he cared about think so lowly of themselves. It was fine when he did it because he knew it to be true. After every crime, every sin he's committed, death would be too good for him yet it's something he wishes; a selfish request. Many times he'd indulge in the idea of no longer existing and how safe others would be. How safe Delilah would be. He knew, one day, he was going to hurt her. As much as he wanted to stay with her, he needed to maintain his distance and observe from afar. It was painful, but it was for the best. If it meant keeping her safe from all harm - including himself - he'll have to ignore her own feelings and opinion on the matter.

Ren tried to keep a level-head, but he wasn't known for being calm, cool, and collected in the beginning of chaos. He ran rampant as if feeding off of the disharmony, pumped full of adrenaline. Itching to release it but with no outlet, it disperses from his body like powerful ripples. And like sound waves, it bounces off of nearby individuals and are projected back to him. The first to come back is the unlucky individual who must face his wrath. His anger could be compared to fire: burning, seething, swallowing anyone and everything- even himself. No one was safe and he detested it. He struggled to keep it under control, but it was a challenge. A challenge he more often than not loses. Such as now. "You are not a burden," he almost growled, anger pulsing through his body however seemingly nullified by the panic mixed in, leaving a stern tone and stiff body. "no one thinks you are so why do you? From day one you have been doing your utmost best and it shows in everything you do today. Your knowledge in medicine have and will continue to save countless of lives. Every tragedy, every misfortune, every struggle, has shaped you into who you are now: reliable, humble, compassionate, diligent, selfless, patient, and so much more." He could fill pages upon pages of compliments and they'd all be true. She was important and he would scream it from the mountains for all to hear until she understood. But he wasn't done ranting about how lovely she was in a mildly angry tone. "You have not the slightest clue of how reassuring your presence is and how important you are. I will not allow you to think so lowly of yourself." His anger seemed to dissolve by the time he finished before he sighed and hung his head. He rode his anger all the way to town, didn't he? All that remained was the burning sensation of embarrassment. Was it hot in here? His face was burning. It felt as though his entire body was on fire. Lifting his paw, he covered his face, pointed ears flattened a bit. "I... Did not mean to get so upset... But everything I said is true." He mumbled, dull red eyes glued to the ground.

He messed everything up, didn't he? He just wanted to hold her in his arms, but he knew better than that. She was already too close to his heart, something like that in this situation will definitely close the gap. Delilah didn't need that. He knew better than to act on his feelings - his anger was the last that needed taming and you can see how that's going. It wasn't like it would get very far anyways. They were too different, hailing from two different worlds. Their paths may cross, but they weren't intertwined. He will remain by her side, nothing will change that. He'll remain there until she grows tired of him or decides he is no longer needed. He needed her more than he was willing to show and it was frightening how much he depended on her. Who would have thought this is where they'd be, considering their origin story. Truly ironic. Agonizingly ironic. People come and go. It'll only be a matter of time before they do the same. But until then, he relished in being her Knight in Shining Armour... Even if it's for a little bit longer.

He lowered his paw when she finished and lifted his right paw to put it over his heart. Bowing his head, he rumbled. "I cannot promise I will stay, but I will always return to you no matter what. I can promise that much." There will come times were they will be apart so Ren couldn't promise to always be by her side with a clear conscious. However, no matter how far apart they are or for how long, he will always find his place at her side.