11-05-2018, 02:09 PM
Koda never wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Not for long anyways. He'd get flashes of vague images and thoughts as well as a voice that was his voice but not at the same time. Find Death and War, "he" hummed for the longest of while as Koda roamed the world by himself. He wasn't sure what "he" was talking about but he didn't question it. "He" told himself not to. A part of him did wonder on occasion though, why would he want to seek out something so horrendous? Something that caused many pain ad grief. Why was he running towards danger instead of following the crowd away from it? I am incomplete, "he" spoke once more what felt to be decades later. If Koda wasn't confused before, he was absolutely confused now. What did "he" mean he was incomplete? Koda felt quite whole, thank you very much. He felt fine and if "he" didn't like it, well, that wasn't his problem. If "he" wanted something, "he" needed to come right out and say it else he was going to ignore "himself." "He" was being very difficult and the child had more important things to do like finding a safe place to rest. He didn't need "him" filling his conscious with vague ideas of something he doesn't understand or telling him to do something without providing context.
His resolve wasn't as solid as he thought it was.
Before he knew it, Koda threw in the towel and agreed with "himself" to find Death and War, wondering if it was just two weird looking rocks. Or maybe two squirrels he needed to kill and eat because he was super hungry and doesn't realize it. Either way, he just wanted "himself" to leave him alone. And thus, the quest for War and Death commenced and he found "he" was starting to speak more frequently. Now, instead of three times a week, it would increase to four, perhaps five if he was unlucky. The only thing that became clear to him upon finding Death and War is they were individuals that Koda knew, except for the fact he's never come across them in his life. He thinks he would remember people "he" dubbed as War and Death as well as the two being an indoraptor and manticore respectively. The familiar sibling-like feeling that accompanied them was enough to make his forget about "himself" and how all of this was "his" doing. It was as though they were long lost friends reuniting for the first time in a long while and as much as he relished in the warm sensation of finally being home, it was all completely foreign to him. How could he possibly feel this way? He didn't know these individuals so how did "he"? There's something "he" wasn't telling himself... At least, not in a way Koda could understand.
To be alone with his thoughts was a scary experience and it only reminded him of how he doesn't know "himself." To prevent that from happening, the child takes every opportunity he could to talk - write - and interact with others as "he" refrains from speaking then. It wasn't like he was desperately searching for someone to interact with - a lie - but if he so happened to come across someone, he figured he'd stop and write hello. Maybe ask them how their day is going before parting ways with waves and smiles. He wasn't looking for a deep conversation, just being in the presence of others is enough to keep "him" silent. Most of the time. So when bright luminaries first landed on the form of Sephiroth, then Sorbet, there wasn't the slightest hesitation in his step when he pranced over to greet them. Smiling around the pen and notebook in his mouth, he bounced to a stop a couple paces behind them when he realized they were speaking to someone he's never seen before. Body tensing, he flattened his ears shyly before wondering if he should come back another time. But that meant "he" might say something. Driven by the thought of not having to deal with "himself," he forced himself to stand by Sorbet, getting there one inch at a time. He seemed just as nervous as he did. That was comforting. In attempt to steady his nerves, the white snow leopard focused on the words he was writing on the paper. "Welcome! I'm Maekoda but you can call me Koda and or whatever you like! I can show you to camp too if you'd like me to." He wrote, clicking his pen and holding up the book to show him.
[align=center]✯ "speaking" / "writing" ✯
His resolve wasn't as solid as he thought it was.
Before he knew it, Koda threw in the towel and agreed with "himself" to find Death and War, wondering if it was just two weird looking rocks. Or maybe two squirrels he needed to kill and eat because he was super hungry and doesn't realize it. Either way, he just wanted "himself" to leave him alone. And thus, the quest for War and Death commenced and he found "he" was starting to speak more frequently. Now, instead of three times a week, it would increase to four, perhaps five if he was unlucky. The only thing that became clear to him upon finding Death and War is they were individuals that Koda knew, except for the fact he's never come across them in his life. He thinks he would remember people "he" dubbed as War and Death as well as the two being an indoraptor and manticore respectively. The familiar sibling-like feeling that accompanied them was enough to make his forget about "himself" and how all of this was "his" doing. It was as though they were long lost friends reuniting for the first time in a long while and as much as he relished in the warm sensation of finally being home, it was all completely foreign to him. How could he possibly feel this way? He didn't know these individuals so how did "he"? There's something "he" wasn't telling himself... At least, not in a way Koda could understand.
To be alone with his thoughts was a scary experience and it only reminded him of how he doesn't know "himself." To prevent that from happening, the child takes every opportunity he could to talk - write - and interact with others as "he" refrains from speaking then. It wasn't like he was desperately searching for someone to interact with - a lie - but if he so happened to come across someone, he figured he'd stop and write hello. Maybe ask them how their day is going before parting ways with waves and smiles. He wasn't looking for a deep conversation, just being in the presence of others is enough to keep "him" silent. Most of the time. So when bright luminaries first landed on the form of Sephiroth, then Sorbet, there wasn't the slightest hesitation in his step when he pranced over to greet them. Smiling around the pen and notebook in his mouth, he bounced to a stop a couple paces behind them when he realized they were speaking to someone he's never seen before. Body tensing, he flattened his ears shyly before wondering if he should come back another time. But that meant "he" might say something. Driven by the thought of not having to deal with "himself," he forced himself to stand by Sorbet, getting there one inch at a time. He seemed just as nervous as he did. That was comforting. In attempt to steady his nerves, the white snow leopard focused on the words he was writing on the paper. "Welcome! I'm Maekoda but you can call me Koda and or whatever you like! I can show you to camp too if you'd like me to." He wrote, clicking his pen and holding up the book to show him.
[align=center]✯ "speaking" / "writing" ✯