11-02-2018, 10:52 AM
[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]Gabriel's muscles still ached from digging Lazarus' grave, but he hardly noticed. It was hard to pay any mind when everything about him was sputtering out final breaths, and he felt less and less like himself with each hour that passed, but before- before whatever happened, before he reached that ledge, he had to do this first.
He should be used to burying people by now, but that sounded callous, didn't it? No burial was ever the same, because no funeral was ever for the same person. Gabriel last said goodbye to the boy he'd pulled away over corpses months ago, the boy who had been slowly learning the world was not those forsaken streets. He'd spent days sitting on the Cane Corso's back, occasionally fiddling with the small little antler nubs because they were just adorable. And now- now he had to bury a kid who made getting off on the wrong foot the right one, who'd smelled like running but managed to hide it all with smartass comments. In the beginning, at least. Nothing could hide the toll leadership had taken on him toward the end. The sleeplessness, the stress, the lowered appetite- Gabriel hadn't done enough to help him.
And in the end, he'd died alone, in his bed. Gabriel wasn't certain if he wanted to hold another son as he died, but if Moon had been terrified, maybe Gabe being there could have helped. Could have done something.
He was now. Too little, too late, but throwing all of his energy into gently pulling a much larger body into a grave he'd blooded himself digging was what he could do. Gravity helped, and the thump of Moon's body had him flinching, muscles trembling with either exertion or grief or both. Every breath was a heaving that sent tremors through his entire form, but he still found the strength -the necessity, maybe- to drag down Moon's satchel, situating it at his side. He hadn't been able to open it, to save whatever was inside. They belonged with Moon anyway. Always had, and he wished- he wished Bast could have given the kid his clerics hide to hone his terrible bedside manner, instead of passing over so much weight to the kid.
He wanted to blame him, wherever he was. But it was Gabriel's fault. He should have tried harder, should have organized something with the rest of the clan to ease the strain on Moon, but he knew many of them saw him as an adult. They were all so young, and he had aged decades these last few weeks, in all the worst ways. Moon- he deserved better than a bitter old albatross choking him. Suffocating.
He pulled one of his many shedding feathers free to rest it on Moon, and he adjusted the blanket tucked around his body, jerking every time he was reminded of how stiff and cold it was now. All the life was gone from this place.
"Lo siento, luz de mi vida. Duermas bien." He lowered his head, pressing it against Moon's shoulder, inhales hitching. Gabriel did not cry, but only because his eyes had no tears left to give. The rest of him still quaked as though they did. "Te amo. Verte otra vez." Gabriel forced himself to crawl out of the hole, heedless of the many scrapes and bruises decorating his failing body.
And for two times too many, he murmured, "Requiescat in pace, mijo."
[align=right][i]——INFO
He should be used to burying people by now, but that sounded callous, didn't it? No burial was ever the same, because no funeral was ever for the same person. Gabriel last said goodbye to the boy he'd pulled away over corpses months ago, the boy who had been slowly learning the world was not those forsaken streets. He'd spent days sitting on the Cane Corso's back, occasionally fiddling with the small little antler nubs because they were just adorable. And now- now he had to bury a kid who made getting off on the wrong foot the right one, who'd smelled like running but managed to hide it all with smartass comments. In the beginning, at least. Nothing could hide the toll leadership had taken on him toward the end. The sleeplessness, the stress, the lowered appetite- Gabriel hadn't done enough to help him.
And in the end, he'd died alone, in his bed. Gabriel wasn't certain if he wanted to hold another son as he died, but if Moon had been terrified, maybe Gabe being there could have helped. Could have done something.
He was now. Too little, too late, but throwing all of his energy into gently pulling a much larger body into a grave he'd blooded himself digging was what he could do. Gravity helped, and the thump of Moon's body had him flinching, muscles trembling with either exertion or grief or both. Every breath was a heaving that sent tremors through his entire form, but he still found the strength -the necessity, maybe- to drag down Moon's satchel, situating it at his side. He hadn't been able to open it, to save whatever was inside. They belonged with Moon anyway. Always had, and he wished- he wished Bast could have given the kid his clerics hide to hone his terrible bedside manner, instead of passing over so much weight to the kid.
He wanted to blame him, wherever he was. But it was Gabriel's fault. He should have tried harder, should have organized something with the rest of the clan to ease the strain on Moon, but he knew many of them saw him as an adult. They were all so young, and he had aged decades these last few weeks, in all the worst ways. Moon- he deserved better than a bitter old albatross choking him. Suffocating.
He pulled one of his many shedding feathers free to rest it on Moon, and he adjusted the blanket tucked around his body, jerking every time he was reminded of how stiff and cold it was now. All the life was gone from this place.
"Lo siento, luz de mi vida. Duermas bien." He lowered his head, pressing it against Moon's shoulder, inhales hitching. Gabriel did not cry, but only because his eyes had no tears left to give. The rest of him still quaked as though they did. "Te amo. Verte otra vez." Gabriel forced himself to crawl out of the hole, heedless of the many scrapes and bruises decorating his failing body.
And for two times too many, he murmured, "Requiescat in pace, mijo."
[align=right][i]——INFO
[align=center][table][tr][td]
I'M
[/td][td]FADING
[/td][td]FADING
[/td][td]MUCH TOO FAST
[/td][/tr][/table]