wayward gods . traveling merchant

[| ICHIGO KUROSAKI |]

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ICHIGO KUROSAKI

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i don't fight because i want to win, i fight to win!

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Nothing in this world was perfect. Nothing in this world went the way that they wanted it. It was the way the world worked and one just had to live with the consequences of all the things that they did in their life. Ichigo wasn't perfect. Despite this, over the years he had children that looked up to him and wanted to get closer to him somehow. They thought of him as a father figure despite all the horrible decisions that he had made throughout the years. Some even considered him to be a good leader while Ichigo would argue against that. It didn't make sense as to why he was a great leader, because half the time those that were underneath his leadership ended up injured or hurt. He had never been one for leading clan or organization. Maybe because he was far too disorganized for something like that, and just didn't know what to do when it came to power. He rarely followed the rules and not following traditions was a good way for him to get a stern warning from the rest of the organization. He didn't follow most traditions when it came to clans anyway, and that could become a concern to those that would eventually start questioning his leadership. Ichigo wasn't the best leader, and often times regretted taking up the position as such at a young age. He became the leader of both a secret organization and of a clan at around his first year of age. His clan needed him to step up to the plate though, and the same with the secret organization that he led behind the clan business.

Because of his young age, he believed that conflicts could be won if there was enough of them. This led to Ichigo leading his comrades to a fight that they would never win and ended up getting several of them infected with corrupted spirits like he was. Some weren't lucky and died that instance that they were touched by the infecter, some acquired corrupted spirits to where they started to transform but stopped themselves from transforming only to let it eat them later. There were a couple that got infected and was able to control the corrupted spirit inside of him thanks to his teachings. Ichigo had been the one to do that t them though as he waited for too long to call for a retreat. He still blamed himself for the death of his fellow Shinigami at that moment and knew that it probably wasn't the best idea to do that again. having already been infected with a corrupted spirit well before the battle, Ichigo couldn't get infected again, but he had been impaled on the rhino's horn during the battle putting him out of commission basically immediately. He had to watch as his friends and comrades writhed in pain as white liquid leaked from their eyes and mouths. It was his FAULT. Ichigo would never forgive himself from that moment. When it came to the aspect of leading a clan, he made a couple bad decisions when it came to ranks and changing them far too often for really anyone to care or know what they mean. He focused too much on the culture that he was from instead of being all-inclusive.

He also started a war because he became the leader and the leader of another group that hated him was promoted to leader around the same time. Just because the female hated his guts, meant that she framed his clan and convinced her clanmates to attack them. There was nothing that Ichigo believed that he could have done to prevent that from happening. He wishes it did because it was needless fighting just to try and get to him. A complete waste of time. Ichigo seemed to constantly make mistake after mistake and tried to learn from them, and once he was prepared, some other factor happened so that there would be nothing that he could do in the end. It frustrated him to no end, and he just wanted something to go his way for once. He wasn't a saint either. He killed one person during his lifetime, but it had only been when he snapped. The clan had been going against another clan that didn't agree with them, but it wasn't considered an all-out war. One of the members from that clan approached him, and he warned them to go away before they got her. This having been after the death of someone that he knew and cherished meant that he was emotionally compromised. The member didn't listen and approached him in an aggressive manner, in which Ichigo emotionlessly cleaved the animal in half using his flames. Upon coming across the scene, his clanmates were completely horrified and were scared of him for the next couple of days. Before that incident, Ichigo doesn't remember killing that group's deputy several months prior. Because he had been possessed, Ichigo had no memory of the kill, and as far as he is concerned he has only killed one person in his entire life while it came out to a total of 2. He wasn't all for just peace and he was perfectly fine with violence in the means of self-defense and not as a means of fun. He couldn't just sit back and watch while others are injured and would help in any way that he could.

He had violent tendencies, more now than ever thanks to his fleeting sanity every single day. The wildcat needed to be able to clutch onto something, what that was he wasn't sure, but he needed at least something. Ichigo blamed himself for what happened to Argus. There was no denying it. The other having been completely consumed by the corrupted spirit that had infected her so many years ago. There were points where he thought that he would never see her again and that would be the end of his former comrades. Dimitri was probably still around as the male was certainly resilient when it came to staying alive. The Shinigami knew that if he had been around to help Argus deal with the thing inside of her, then maybe he could have prevented the path that she had gone through. Ichigo didn't know all of the histories that she had under her teeth, but he knew that it probably wasn't a pretty picture. Not everyone wanted to change, but maybe there was at least something that he could do to help. Ichigo also had no idea what her temperament would be in her current condition, how unstable and broken it was. He was after all a Shinigami, and she most definitely felt resentment against someone like him. The smile that spread across her facial features that were far from welcoming made Ichigo's heart pound in his throat. This wasn't good. The voices inside of his head were raring for a fight to break out between the dragon and the cougar. Ichigo was just barely bigger than the small dragon, and he couldn't see if she had any weapons on her as the cloak covered her back. Ichigo anticipated that the other would talk at least something to him or say something sarcastic. Nothing happened. In fact, she said nothing to him.

This made him feel even more guilty, as it was obvious she recognized him and wasn't saying anything as other Sunhaven members approached her to try and make a deal. She completely ignored him. That frustrated him, but he also knew that he probably deserved it. Ichigo's bi-colored eyes looked at the ground and once she was done talking to both Infirmaryward and the griffon, Ichigo took a couple steps forward. Almost seeming desperate to try and get some form of a response from the female. "Argus come on.... say something.... please..." Ichigo said, although his tone didn't sound like he was begging. He just wanted to help. But had him wanting to help others really helped over the years? He wasn't sure if he could answer that himself. A frown was plastered on his facial features as he shuffled his paws on the ground, as he tried to figure out the right words to say. He was a Shinigami, and she was more corrupted spirit than Shinigami anymore. What had she been up to all these years? "Gods Argus I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." He should have been there. He should have been there for all of his friends and family. Yet, Littlestar was left alone for almost an entire year being forced to lead a clan that she had considered to be her home. He left Dimitri that probably could have used his help as he knew the other wasn't up to any good. Argus being another. Anyone that was a Shinigami or even part of his family. They had needed him, and yet he was never around. He guessed that he deserved this. Ichigo's rounded ears were pinned against his skull as his attention didn't leave the dragon trying to gauge her reaction.