TAKE ALL OF THE PAIN AWAY | {OPEN, KILL, 100TH POST}

[london r.]

Death was not a foreign concept to London, in fact, she was quite familiar with it. Prey animals were killed to be eaten, but that was not the kind of death that she was referencing. Though it did saddened her to end the life of a prey animal when she hunted, she knew that she would do her best not to waste it's sacrifice, and that made everything alright again. But that was not the point. That was not what had occurred right at the paws of a creature she had believed to be somewhat of a friend to her. Nor was it as devastating of a sight as what she was about to witness. It wouldn't be the first time she would have seen a corpse, as she'd seen the results of her own mother's suicide, however it didn't stop the girl from feeling a tug at her heartstrings. London had once feared sickness more than death, a silly notion now, but that is because what she had known of death was all positive. Once you died, you would find yourself in a lovely place with all of your loved ones, where you could spend the rest of eternity existing with mirth and joy. But sickness was something that kept you from enjoying your life, it crippled you and made your insides fill with aches and pains. It made you a liability others had to care for, and if filled your loved ones with worry. No, sickness was the real demon, at least, until one had actually witnessed death. Then that logic which had once seemed to hold so much truth became flawed. Because at least with sickness it was possible to get better, however slim the chance may become. Death was permanent, to most creatures at least, and unfortunately, it seemed that it didn't take too much for London to come to face the battle against the grim reaper.

The young albino had known as soon as the metallic aroma of blood had kissed her senses that something was wrong. Finding Jacob would most likely have been the best course of action, but perhaps he would be too late. She couldn't see the sight that had caused the stench quite yet, but as she made her way closer the tang of copper became almost unbearable. It definitely  would have been too late to go looking for Jacob. There was nothing he could do to change this outcome. no matter how unfortunate that may seem. It wasn't as though there was anything that anyone could do now, besides of course attempt to clean up. Yet London was far too numb at the sight to even begin to think such thoughts. All the girl could see was her mother's corpse lying there, even though the rational part of her knew that that wasn't the case. The poisons leaking out of her maw, eyes glazed over, sandy pelt dull and lifeless. The young girl hadn't even been there to see her take her last breath. It had been a horrid moment for the clouded leopard, one that would change her life more than she ever knew it possible. It was the day her childhood had ended, though one might not believe that with the way she behaved. Yet it was undeniable that the experience was one that she would never forget, though part of her wanted to believe it never happened. She had wished so desperately that she had noticed sooner that her mother was struggling, but how was a kid who hadn't known any different supposed to see past the mask one wore when that creature was the one she had believed in most? It was truly a cruel world, there was no denying it.

"I'm sorry."

The words were quiet, but they held so much weight hidden underneath. Usually this would have been the moment when the girl's eyes began to form a liquid film, however the girl stopped herself from allowing any tears to become prominent. The others of the Snowbound did not appear to be that moved by the scene, and although there was discourse in her heart, London would not allow it to affect her. "I'm so sorry mister Killua." she would repeat the phrase louder this time, though the strength in her words had allowed that liquid film to cover her visionaries. "If only I got here sooner I might have been able to help or go get help, and then you wouldn't have gotten so injured. Please forgive me." Perhaps it was somewhat ridiculous for her to apologize for something she couldn't control, but London did not quite seem to realize this. She just felt like a horrible clanmate and an even worse friend, even if she would have been a liability had she been able to help him "fight." He had already saved her once, and she would hate to have to be saved again, but she also wanted to have been able to help instead of being a gawking bystander as she was now. The Snowseeker could possibly have died if he hadn't by some miracle overpowered his two attackers, and London would have felt horrible if that had been the case. She wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if that had happened. She wanted to be there for her clanmates, just as they were for her when she had gotten injured. That was what a clan was for. Why should she expect to be defended if she didn't do the same for others? That would not be right.