10-09-2018, 07:09 PM
The cannibalism she exhibited? Was indeed far too deep for the calico to change things even by going slow. Apart from her body having grown up on nothing expect feline meat? All the mental damage done to her did it's own hefty toll resulting in an even more drastic inability to survive on anything else. Honestly, she had no reason to lie about that once someone had caught her, the truth was the only explanation that anyone could live with anyways. Pretty much any other way her cannibalism could be explained would drive someone away from her. No one wanted to be around someone who ate others of their own kind for fun. If she had been able to stop, oh she would have so many times over, the calico could not recount how many times she had to earn back someone she had once loved after they found out. Just simply eating other felines was straining to those around her, she was a monster but part of her basic programming was to not be burden to others. If the large calico had ever been able to stop eating the meat of other felines, she would have done so long ago. Of course, without love remaining she had no reason to even try again.
He spoke and she was lucky to be able to contiue paying attention past the tempation of the barely eaten corpse laying in front of her. Could he finish up his constricting moral display so that she could finish the meal, try to pretend things were any bit normal even if they had not been that way in forver. Something was not quiet right about current events, the way he spoke held no purpose. If he truly wanted a conversation? By now he had been around long enough to know that unless the statements actually demanded some sort of response, she was extremely unlikely to respond. Part of lacking emotions? Was the effect of also being unable to decide to speak unless it was nessecary as most conversation had some emotional purpose that she just had no interest in because hers were not there. So what was the actual goal of contiuing to comunicate, he should know by now that she would have no response to give him. Why was he taking such a shot in the dark?
For the first few moments she had not felt anything because there would be a passage of time were his power had to swim through the sheer emptiness she lived in from day to day. Once he got past the emptiness to the nothingness? Jiyu would become able to feel the invasion, since when she had her powers they had to reach out from her deepest core. If she had been smart, knowing this would have helped her realized why she lost all of her powers, but she never was able to reflect that way. The deepest core within her was undoubtly the kitten she had been before growing up into the monster she became, and the biggest difference between them was that side of her did feel, she just chose to drown it. With that brief moment in time being the strength of her powers? If she couldn't let her long beaten down emotions out at least the slightest bit, she also couldn't use her own powers even if her life would be threatened otherwise.
"I see." she echoed his earlier words, extending one paw forward to begin a slow walk towards the lion as his power kept trying to worm its way inside of her head. "You know." she let him, knowing he was squirming the calico simply let him try to swim through the endless inky blankness which surrounded everything else she kept within her head. Jiyu was comfortable letting him swim through the nearly endless emptiness she had to live with every day thanks to what had been done to her, what she had done. She simply kept walking until she was right in front of him, rearing up so his icy optics were staring directly only barely inches of air seperating them from her mismatched ones, head tilt causing her hair tuft to move out of the way. "Next time." he would be able to feel an 'entrance' which he could squirm that power into. The second he entered her 'mind' the lion would realize his mistake, only one thing existed where he would be able to get in! Pain, agonizing the sort that made one entirely give up, crushing and unbearable in its intensity. "I won't be kind with it, stay out of my head." She had been rendered emotionless over her life, and that was the reason she could survive the pain locked deep within. For someone who didn't know what they were getting into? It would be far more than enough to eject him from her head. The leaders probe had been rejected, using something within her memories but the intensity of it was almost blinding, she had picked carefully. "I give my entire existence to this place, I've died time and time again for this group, my head is mine, my past or anything else you were looking for is absolutely none of your business if you want to get it that way." Occasionally? There had been those who got her to admit the past, but they were fleeting and rare. Sep had no business with her history if he couldn't put in the same work others had to warm enough that they could make her feel comfortable saying something.
He spoke and she was lucky to be able to contiue paying attention past the tempation of the barely eaten corpse laying in front of her. Could he finish up his constricting moral display so that she could finish the meal, try to pretend things were any bit normal even if they had not been that way in forver. Something was not quiet right about current events, the way he spoke held no purpose. If he truly wanted a conversation? By now he had been around long enough to know that unless the statements actually demanded some sort of response, she was extremely unlikely to respond. Part of lacking emotions? Was the effect of also being unable to decide to speak unless it was nessecary as most conversation had some emotional purpose that she just had no interest in because hers were not there. So what was the actual goal of contiuing to comunicate, he should know by now that she would have no response to give him. Why was he taking such a shot in the dark?
For the first few moments she had not felt anything because there would be a passage of time were his power had to swim through the sheer emptiness she lived in from day to day. Once he got past the emptiness to the nothingness? Jiyu would become able to feel the invasion, since when she had her powers they had to reach out from her deepest core. If she had been smart, knowing this would have helped her realized why she lost all of her powers, but she never was able to reflect that way. The deepest core within her was undoubtly the kitten she had been before growing up into the monster she became, and the biggest difference between them was that side of her did feel, she just chose to drown it. With that brief moment in time being the strength of her powers? If she couldn't let her long beaten down emotions out at least the slightest bit, she also couldn't use her own powers even if her life would be threatened otherwise.
"I see." she echoed his earlier words, extending one paw forward to begin a slow walk towards the lion as his power kept trying to worm its way inside of her head. "You know." she let him, knowing he was squirming the calico simply let him try to swim through the endless inky blankness which surrounded everything else she kept within her head. Jiyu was comfortable letting him swim through the nearly endless emptiness she had to live with every day thanks to what had been done to her, what she had done. She simply kept walking until she was right in front of him, rearing up so his icy optics were staring directly only barely inches of air seperating them from her mismatched ones, head tilt causing her hair tuft to move out of the way. "Next time." he would be able to feel an 'entrance' which he could squirm that power into. The second he entered her 'mind' the lion would realize his mistake, only one thing existed where he would be able to get in! Pain, agonizing the sort that made one entirely give up, crushing and unbearable in its intensity. "I won't be kind with it, stay out of my head." She had been rendered emotionless over her life, and that was the reason she could survive the pain locked deep within. For someone who didn't know what they were getting into? It would be far more than enough to eject him from her head. The leaders probe had been rejected, using something within her memories but the intensity of it was almost blinding, she had picked carefully. "I give my entire existence to this place, I've died time and time again for this group, my head is mine, my past or anything else you were looking for is absolutely none of your business if you want to get it that way." Occasionally? There had been those who got her to admit the past, but they were fleeting and rare. Sep had no business with her history if he couldn't put in the same work others had to warm enough that they could make her feel comfortable saying something.
❦ "Sitting In The Corner, Wondering What You Got Into And You Ache For Things You Don't Understand." ❦
❦ Jiyu's Adventure/Exploration Discovery Storage ❦
❦ Pm or Discord To Accompany On Exploration. ❦
❦ Jiyu's Adventure/Exploration Discovery Storage ❦
❦ Pm or Discord To Accompany On Exploration. ❦