BUT I DIDN'T GET TOO FAR // oneshot

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

is someone else in me,
waiting to break free?

//tl;dr: Atbash got lost in her thoughts about the takeover and blaming herself over it, but soon realized that Snowbound needs their leader. It's her first time outside of her cabin without the leaf wrap over the side of her head, which covered up her injury. Her eye socket is closed and there is a massive scar on that side of her face, but otherwise the wound seems to have healed properly!
Also, it's starting to get colder in Snowbound due to the fall

Thing were slowly returning to normal.

Atbash still felt bad for being the cause of The Pitt's takeover. After all, if she hadn't visited The Pitt in order to attempt to make things better, Stryker wouldn't have caught her. If she actually knew how to fight, the takeover wouldn't have happened. If only I had more spine. Quantum of Sunhaven had pointed out that she didn't have the nerve to fight for her tribemates and Stryker only proved that whenever he attacked Izuku before being exiled. Sure, exiling Stryker showed that she was willing to make sure Snowbound was safe, but not harming Stryker in the process showed the opposite. She should have fought Stryker and made sure that he knew she wasn't fucking around whenever she said he was no longer welcome here. But no, she just exiled him and expected him to just... leave it like that.

Atbash visited The Pitt to warn their leader of Stryker's treacherous actions however it clearly backfired when Stryker himself had been the one to greet her at The Pitt's border and attacked her, deciding to enact his revenge on Snowbound for being the pacifists that they were. He knew Snowbound's territory and he knew the way they reacted to things, so of course he would find it no trouble at all waltzing back in her, especially when he had the tribe's leader in his jaws. Atbash had been placed at his mercy and when Snowbound attempted to fight back at first, Stryker left her with one eye.

The wound had been awful, leaving Atbash bleeding on the ground and passed out from shock and blood loss. By now, the wound had healed as much as it could, leaving the Hailcaller with an empty socket and scars on that side of her face. Leaves had been plastered on that side of her face to prevent the injury from getting infected from the harsh Snowbound climate and luckily it had done just that, and Atbash was grateful for Izuku keeping an eye on things and making sure the wound was healing properly.

By now, the leaves had been removed from Atbash's face and it was the first time she would be experiencing things without the foliage on her face. It felt no different than it being there, since the socket was closed and Atbash still couldn't see out of that but honestly, the she-cat was fearful of her tribemates' reactions. She was hideous, a scarred creature who should have been left for dead. Atbash never was a beautiful she-cat, but the scars that covered her body only made that statement more of a fact than an opinion (at least that's what she thought).

Moving around was weird and Atbash was still trying to get used to her surroundings. You could often find her jumping into the air, thinking that something was approaching her on her bad side when there was, in fact, nothing. It was a horrible feeling, that there was something beside you, and the Hailcaller flinched and jumped into the air when she had that nagging feeling. It made her feel pathetic and worthless, being startled over nothing like that, but she couldn't help it. It was just her mind wanting to be able to see out of that side of her face again, but it couldn't. It wanted to, but there was just absolutely no way that was plausible.

The worst feeling of all, however, was phantom pains. Every so often Atbash would grit her teeth and cry out in pain, the sudden feeling of Stryker pulling out her eye wracking her body. Usually this happened at night when she was about to rest but occasionally, it did happen out in the open. Atbash knew of the alarmed looks her tribemates gave her but again, that was something she couldn't help and she felt worthless. All of this could have been avoided if she just had the spine to stand up to people who did Snowbound wrong. She would have never been disabled and Snowbound wouldn't have to worry about their leader's sanity.

Atbash almost wanted to run away, to leave Snowbound in Izuku's hands. The savannah was oh-so tempted to, but with everything that happened to her, she didn't know if she could. After all, leaving Snowbound meant she'd have to take care of herself. Sure, she could go to Tanglewood with her brother Vigenere, but that would mean he'd have to watch over her in addition to worry about his clanmates and she didn't want to be a burden to him. She didn't want to join Sunhaven or The Ascendants, and she absolutely couldn't join The Pitt (for obvious reasons) and The Typhoon due to Caesar. It was almost like she was stuck here, but at the same time... she wasn't. Atbash was happy here, she just felt Snowbound would be better off without her leading.

With a sigh, Atbash decided it was about time she actually went out and interacted with the tribe. It was noon, with the sun high in the sky and she had yet to make an appearance. Truthfully, she had gotten lost in her thoughts and worries, but she had to remind herself that despite what she may want to do, she was Snowbound's leader and needed to act like one. The Hailcaller got to her paws slowly, taking in a deep breath as she exited her cabin. The air was starting to turn colder, signalling the season changing to fall. Soon, winter would be upon Snowbound which meant prey and herbs would be harder to find. We should do something about that soon, Atbash thought to herself. But right now, Snowbound needed to relax and recover from The Pitt's takeover, just as she was doing.

Hopefully this decision wasn't going to bite them in the ass.

//Word Count: 985

bio | female | hailcaller [leader] of snowbound

© madi