[div style="margin: 0 auto; border-width:0; width: 70%; text-align: justify; line-height: 1; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 10pt;"] alrighty, lemme give some thoughts here ! apologies in advance if it ends up a little wordy, also for any typos or overall errors. i ended up writing most of this on mobile, which is always pretty rough aasdfghj
religion - like i've said in a thread before this, i'm often rather hesitant when it comes to religious leaning groups. not because i don't like them, i actually really love them when they're done well, but because i often end up noticing misrepresentation of certain cultures and lots of stereotypes. so, like always, i suggest being careful with how you portray things & you'll be alright! this part wasn't really a critique on the group idea just a little psa :> onto the actually group stuff tho - to be totally honest here, i tend to find the light v. dark themeing, especially with gods/religion, quite bland. i'm not saying you can't have them or anything, but i know i personally prefer a little spice in there when it comes to group religions. multiple gods and what not, y'know? thats just my personal taste though.
on the topic of the events associated with the group's religion, i'll go in order starting with the winter solstice. i suggest maybe adding a little more to the activities associated with the event, perhaps? i don't really see the difference in the winter solstice times than the normal, as prank wars can be initiated anytime as well as stargazing. nothing really stands out to me as, like, something that displays the connection to tenebrous other than the stargazing i suppose. i think perhaps the prank wars would be better suited for the autumnal/spring equinoxes only? idk, i just find it kind of odd that the group would have prank wars every event unless they were a more whimsical group. i may be misunderstanding what the intention is, though, since i tend to see arcane groups as more scholarly than anything. next would be the summer solstice, which i dont have too much more to add onto. i think the same thing i said earlier concerning the winter solstice applies here. i just dont really see anything that stands out as a tribute to the god. once more, this goes with the equinoxes as well.
territory - i will say that i do like the idea of the camp. there's always something so alluring about thickly wooded forests and glowing mushrooms galore. i also like the idea of crystal wind chimes - they're really cute and offer a nice trading opportunity if you want to get your group into that sorta thing. like, a bargaining chip for forging alliances or something.
onto the rest of the territory though, i'm not too supportive of the nymphs and dryads. especially considering if paradise valley ends up a group. even without them, though, i feel like its a bit of stereotypical overkill for a magical woods. maybe if there were just nymphs or dryads, but the combination of both is a bit much and in roleplay terms would likely make the forest a little cramped for a growing group.
last, onto the ruins. considering there isnt much info given i don't have too much to say concerning it but i suggest fleshing out what they may have been put there by as well as their purposes before they became obsolete as well as what purpose they serve the clan. some nice lore involved to bits of the territory is always a good idea!
traditions - i gotta say, i absolutely adore the idea of a tree coated in the paw print marks of joiners, but i do have a few questions. would it be like an apprentice ceremony? during meetings would those ranking up be required to make a post about their character printing the tree, or would it be a separate event all together? if making it a separate event i would suggest doing it maybe once or twice a month to reduce strain on the leader
windchimes i already covered above, but i'll restate it anyways. i think it's a nice idea when it comes to trading goods between clans, but now that i think about it i wouldn't necessarily view it as a tradition unless it was done on certain days or only during festivals. i guess it could be a traditional recreational activity, but it's not what i immediately think of the way its worded.
as for wands, i don't really like it at all. i think it's a little cheesy and doesnt really offer purpose as a tradition. maybe wands could be peddled as goods for trading, but i dont see the traditional value in it. even , im still not too keen on the idea. but thats just me.
this brings us to the last thing, the magical energies possibly initiating an appearance change. i, again, dont really think the phenomena should be filed under traditions. it is a cool idea, though, but seems kind of pointless considering any creature can mutate and gain powers throughout the BoB world. maybe theres just a higher chance of it happening it that particular area?
my final questions would be if you have a ranking system yet, or just any ideas of it. or maybe just a theme or idea all together?
overall, though, while it does have some interesting aspects i wouldn't necessarily see this as a group i would end up joining as is. there's just not enough pull to really drive me towards it.
religion - like i've said in a thread before this, i'm often rather hesitant when it comes to religious leaning groups. not because i don't like them, i actually really love them when they're done well, but because i often end up noticing misrepresentation of certain cultures and lots of stereotypes. so, like always, i suggest being careful with how you portray things & you'll be alright! this part wasn't really a critique on the group idea just a little psa :> onto the actually group stuff tho - to be totally honest here, i tend to find the light v. dark themeing, especially with gods/religion, quite bland. i'm not saying you can't have them or anything, but i know i personally prefer a little spice in there when it comes to group religions. multiple gods and what not, y'know? thats just my personal taste though.
on the topic of the events associated with the group's religion, i'll go in order starting with the winter solstice. i suggest maybe adding a little more to the activities associated with the event, perhaps? i don't really see the difference in the winter solstice times than the normal, as prank wars can be initiated anytime as well as stargazing. nothing really stands out to me as, like, something that displays the connection to tenebrous other than the stargazing i suppose. i think perhaps the prank wars would be better suited for the autumnal/spring equinoxes only? idk, i just find it kind of odd that the group would have prank wars every event unless they were a more whimsical group. i may be misunderstanding what the intention is, though, since i tend to see arcane groups as more scholarly than anything. next would be the summer solstice, which i dont have too much more to add onto. i think the same thing i said earlier concerning the winter solstice applies here. i just dont really see anything that stands out as a tribute to the god. once more, this goes with the equinoxes as well.
territory - i will say that i do like the idea of the camp. there's always something so alluring about thickly wooded forests and glowing mushrooms galore. i also like the idea of crystal wind chimes - they're really cute and offer a nice trading opportunity if you want to get your group into that sorta thing. like, a bargaining chip for forging alliances or something.
onto the rest of the territory though, i'm not too supportive of the nymphs and dryads. especially considering if paradise valley ends up a group. even without them, though, i feel like its a bit of stereotypical overkill for a magical woods. maybe if there were just nymphs or dryads, but the combination of both is a bit much and in roleplay terms would likely make the forest a little cramped for a growing group.
last, onto the ruins. considering there isnt much info given i don't have too much to say concerning it but i suggest fleshing out what they may have been put there by as well as their purposes before they became obsolete as well as what purpose they serve the clan. some nice lore involved to bits of the territory is always a good idea!
traditions - i gotta say, i absolutely adore the idea of a tree coated in the paw print marks of joiners, but i do have a few questions. would it be like an apprentice ceremony? during meetings would those ranking up be required to make a post about their character printing the tree, or would it be a separate event all together? if making it a separate event i would suggest doing it maybe once or twice a month to reduce strain on the leader
windchimes i already covered above, but i'll restate it anyways. i think it's a nice idea when it comes to trading goods between clans, but now that i think about it i wouldn't necessarily view it as a tradition unless it was done on certain days or only during festivals. i guess it could be a traditional recreational activity, but it's not what i immediately think of the way its worded.
as for wands, i don't really like it at all. i think it's a little cheesy and doesnt really offer purpose as a tradition. maybe wands could be peddled as goods for trading, but i dont see the traditional value in it. even , im still not too keen on the idea. but thats just me.
this brings us to the last thing, the magical energies possibly initiating an appearance change. i, again, dont really think the phenomena should be filed under traditions. it is a cool idea, though, but seems kind of pointless considering any creature can mutate and gain powers throughout the BoB world. maybe theres just a higher chance of it happening it that particular area?
my final questions would be if you have a ranking system yet, or just any ideas of it. or maybe just a theme or idea all together?
overall, though, while it does have some interesting aspects i wouldn't necessarily see this as a group i would end up joining as is. there's just not enough pull to really drive me towards it.
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