YOU WERE LOVED [p, junji]

[Luca]

Luca knew what it was like to struggle beneath the weight of expectations. He knew from an early age that he would never mamage to be on the level of the version of him that his Father had always wanted. He would never even reach the level of his elder brothers. He had inherited too much from his mother, her soft curves and delicate body. He could never even do half of the physical labor that Nicolas, who was only a year older than him, could do. He has always felt ashamed of his body, even though the townsfolk always complimented his cute face and made many not-so-subtle remarks that he'd grow into quite the pretty young man.

At least any expectations that had been resting on his shoulders were lifted when he was sold. After that his life was simple, all he had to do was complete his chores and stand around in the dresses that had been picked out for him. Of course he had hated it there, but a small part of him was thankful that he finally didn't have to force himself to be something that he wasn't. Heavy lifting and farm work just wasn't for him, even now that he was bigger and stronger and healthier. He would much rather enjoy the softer things in life, despite that common attitude of his. He would always take cleaning and baking over fighting, although he did enjoy a healthy dose of bloodshed just as much as any other self respecting demon. He had noticed Junji phasing out of reality as he messed about, and thought that perhaps it was a bad time to go in for a kiss. Catching people off guard like that had often made him the recipient of claws to the face. Unlike Junji,  he preferred to stay in the present rather than receding into his own thoughts. There were things back there that he wasn't quite ready to face yet (he doubted that he would ever be ready, but continued telling himself that he would some day in a halfhearted attempt at keeping himself at bay), so instead he would focus on his work and the ground beneath his paws. Any zoning out was completely accidental, and often ended less than ideally.

Despite his thoughts, he had done it anyway of course, pressing his lips gently to Junji's and pulling away before either of them had time to process it. He was almost afraid to look back at the feline once he had looked away, staring at his muffins with burning cheeks for an almost uncomfortable amount of time. It was Junji's words that finally got him to snap out of his half embarrassed, half scared trance and turn to look at the sage. Immediately he noticed how flustered his clanmate appeared to be, taking in the adorable curling of his body and tail, the bashful tucking of his nose into fur. Luca's heart stuttered in his chest as the pink glow of his telepathy encased a muffin and he floated it over to his injured companion. What was he supposed to say now? He was going to make an attempt to play it cool, but Junii knew how to press all the right buttons, and now he just had to know if that reaction was a good one or a bad one. The hellhound watched him intently for a bit before grabbing a muffin of his own, breaking it apart to watch the steam rise from it before glancing back up at the bedridden angel.

"I'm sorry," he began, voice tentative. "Was that too much?" After all, there was probably something immoral about making moves on someone in such a vulnerable state. The last thing he wanted was to scare Junji off, especially since the angel was one of the few to treat him kindly unconditionally so far. "I get carried away sometimes and you just looked so cute so-" he cut himself off, that vexatious blush returning to his face. Making excuses was bad enough, but then he had to go on and add fuel to the fire as well. He bit down on his tongue to stop himself from talking, taking a bite from the baked good between his paws instead. The sweetness was almost enough to distract him from the merciless mocking of his inner voice. Almost.