ALL YOU GIVE ME IS A HEARTBEAT && cav

[cavalrychoir]

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Ren could understand the internal struggle of being helped and coming o realize how much help one really needs. It was hard. Coming to terms with flaws wasn't an easy thing to do despite that being the one thing everything in this world has in common. Being perfect was boring and an illusion, a tempting one at that. The wildcat did look at her with pity in his usual cold stare, but empathy. He understood all too well how she felt but he had no idea how to comfort her. She was smiling, that was a start. But it was only a matter of time until her smile will falter and fade, beautiful magenta eyes losing their twinkle. Ren was fearful of that day and he was going to do everything he could to prevent it from happening. Delilah deserved happiness and he was going to do his best to either provide it or find someone who can give that to her. Actually, fuck that. She didn't need a man or anyone to make her feel whole. Just being herself and doing the things that she enjoys is fantastic. He wanted to protect her, but he needed to get out of the "Superhero" mentality. He isn't here to save her. He's here to support her. There's a difference.

It's going to take a while before he's able to fully drop the "Superhero" mentality - he wants to be her Knight in Shining Armour but knows she needs more than that. It was going to be hard, if he was being honest with himself. People just don't change overnight and as much as he wants to deny it, he's never going to change. He may successfully cover it up with who he wants to be, but who he was will always be inside him. His skin would crawl and body would shake at the thought of the traits he tried to cover up resurfacing. As large and arguably intimidating as he was, Ren had a lot of things that scared him. Most of them was himself. He did his best not to regress back into who he was, using his fear and determination as fuel to keep himself going.

A low purr rumbled in his throat a her touch as she jumped up onto his back. Waiting until she secured herself, his large frame would carefully rise before walking off. As he walked, his ears were turned backwards to be able to hear her better. "Oh?" He breathed a reply, thinking about what she said and trying to ignore the warm sensation that came with the nickname. "I... Would not mind that." He started with a flick of his short tail. "Although, 'servant' will not do. 'Butler,' however, has a much nicer ring to it." He meowed, deep voice lined with amusement. "Your 'Guardian' and 'Bodyguard' can also be added to the list." He finished, long whiskers quivering with amusement. He could have also added her personal 'Sword and Shield' but not only was that a bit intense and he was still unsure of her boundaries - they just met after all - it was a bit out there compared to the others. Of course, she didn't have to refer to him as any of these but it was fun to brainstorm them.

"Gators?" He echoed in mild disbelief before exhaling a soft "oh." Taking the environment into consideration, he would be even more surprised if there were no gators. "Well then," he started once more with a huff. "We'll just have to avoid them for now. How about we come back one day and teach them some? I could also brush up on it. We'll have a lovely study session." He finished, holding back a laugh though unable to control a small smile.

[ retro to name change but like,,,, she can continue to call him cavvy bc it's cute and iboth ren and i would die for her so ]