SEEING RED AGAIN // oneshot

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

i know i should stop believing
i know there's no retrieving

//No need to reply with the same length!

Everything hurt.

Atbash found herself in the medic den, which she was fairly surprised about. She figured that Stryker and the rest of The Pitt would try keeping her close and refuse her medical aid, but it seemed that they allowed it. Or at least her tribemates did it in secret or something. But that still didn't stop the physical pain she felt right now. Dream demons weren't supposed to feel pain, it was supposed to be numbness, and yet here Atbash was, writhing in pain from how Stryker just ripped her eye out. The socket was closed by now and Atbash could feel a leaf bandage wrapped over that side of her face. It was hard to feel it due to the numbness she did feel over that area, but it was definitely there.

As she tried to move, her body was overcome with a wave of pain and Atbash cried out in alarm as she felt pain flicker through her head and body and collapsed onto her nest again. She hadn't been trying to get up, rather tried to get more comfortable, but it seemed even that wasn't going to be able to happen. The Hailcaller's entire body shook as tears came from her good eye, as if Atbash was trying to release the feeling of pain through her tears. And she was, she really was.

But the tears were also over the worry about her tribe. Because she was so weak, too weak to defend herself, it left Snowbound in an open position for attack. There was no doubt in Atbash's mind that The Pitt would do anything to make Snowbound listen to them, as evident by Stryker ripping her eye out. Atbash was scared for her tribe's safety, and she was the only one to blame. If she hadn't went to The Pitt to talk to Yes Man, whom was their leader, Stryker would have never attacked her. Would have never paralyzed her, and he wouldn't have been striding into camp like he owned the place. But that's exactly what happened and Atbash felt guilty.

I'm sorry. Atbash knew she had telepathy and could call out the apology to her tribe, but right now, she didn't want to. The pain she felt was too much to bear, and it was likely she wouldn't be able to focus properly to send out a broadcasted telepathic message to everyone. The she-cat's teeth were bared as she cried from where she grit them together out of pain, and her claws mindlessly dug into the nest she laid on. There was dried blood on the left side of her face and body still, though it seemed like whomever was taking care of her tried washing it off as much as they could. Atbash was grateful for that, but at this point, she wished she was dead.

Death would be better than laying here, disfigured and in pain. Death would be better than facing Stryker and The Pitt and forcing her tribe to fight for their freedom all because of her. Atbash wished that Stryker had killed her instead of leaving her half-blind, rendering her practically useless. At least, that's how she felt she would be once she finally recovered. If she recovered, assuming Stryker didn't kill her. Because she didn't have shapeshifting or possession, Atbash couldn't find another body to come back if she did die, and she almost wanted that to happen. Anything would be better than what was going on right now.

I'm sorry.

//tl;dr: Atbash is in the medic den with the left side of her face covered, which is where Stryker had pulled out her eye. She's shaking and crying in the den, feeling guilty about everything that's happening.

bio | female | hailcaller [leader] of snowbound

© madi