Atbash's August CDC Tracker

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

What is Your Character Afraid Others See in Them?

    Honestly, Atbash was afraid of a lot of things. She was afraid that others would judge her for being female, mostly due to how she was raised back home. Females weren't regarded as high figures there and she was honestly used to being treated as a lowlife there, so when Jacob and the others treated her as normal, she was pleasantly surprised. When Jacob promoted her to Flurryhost, Atbash had been shocked. Back home, she would have never been considered for anything, and when he approached her to step up in his place, words couldn't describe how she felt. Even though she has been leading for about a month now, Atbash couldn't help but feel like people were still judging her, solely for being female. After all, when has a female ever been known to lead something?

    Atbash was also afraid of others perceiving her as weak. It wasn't secret that she wasn't very confident in her leading abilities, and she knew that her tribemates saw the way she looked whenever she was contemplating a decision. It was hard to hide such a face, since Atbash truly and honestly doubted almost every decision she made, in fear of being judged. Of course, her inability to make decisions by herself could be seen as weak, since she relied on her tribe's opinion on things. A leader should be confident and unafraid to make her own decisions, but Atbash couldn't find herself doing that, ever. She was too nervous about every move she made and it was painfully obvious. Atbash hated it and yet, she couldn't find herself fixing it. She wasn't even sure if she could.

    It was clear Atbash wasn't made to be leader and that she had always been a follower. She couldn't even protect herself whenever Caesar attacked her - twice - and she knew he was only doing that to prove a point. Honestly, Atbash was surprised nobody tried fighting her for the rank of Hailcaller just because of her inability to protect herself. It wasn't like she could fight, because she knew nothing about fighting properly. Instincts only got you so far. She was glad nobody had challenged her yet, because it was likely she would just step down if she got too distraught over the situation, and that was another thing she was afraid of people seeing in her - stress. Atbash was afraid people would notice how much stress she was in and use the opportunity to target her and force her to step down.

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