Atbash's August CDC Tracker

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

Love

    Love has two definitions: there is sibling love and there was the type of love you felt for somebody else; your significant other. Atbash had felt both of these feelings of love, although the former type was what she felt the most. Loving your siblings was much more different than loving a person completely unrelated to you. But both of them required you caring about them no matter what happened, even if you guys got into fights. Getting into fights and still loving them all the same shows how much you truly love and care of them, and sometimes those situations bonded everyone much closer than what they had been before. Atbash believed that sacrifices have to be made sometimes in love, but she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to make sacrifices.

    As mentioned above, loving your siblings is a lot more different than loving somebody unrelated to you. Atbash had always been close to her brothers, before Caesar had started to lose his mind. She was always by their side and loved and cared for them, ready to defend them at a moment's notice if she had to. Even when Vigenere had been Chosen by the King's Guard, Atbash remained by Caesar's side and supported him. She tried to prevent him from his thoughts of murdering the Shaman, but at the same time she also offered support. Perhaps that was a bad thing to do, because his words had no longer become a threat and he actually attempted to kill the Shaman, and that ultimately got him and his System exiled. Despite that, Atbash couldn't find herself hating or distrusting Caesar, unlike their older brother. Atbash acted as a mediator between them and offered support for both of them while they refused to talk to each other, and still stood by their side when they started to work together and conspire against attacking the King and his Court.

    Atbash eventually pulled away from Caesar's plan as Vigenere told her that things could return to normal, and she instead stayed on Vigenere's side rather than Caesar's, prompting him to yell at them and call them traitors. Even so, Atbash still couldn't find herself hating the youngest child. And that fact still stood after he destroyed the Dimension and forced them out of their home. Sure, Atbash was distraught and upset at him, but she couldn't hate him. She just couldn't, because she loved and cared for him too much. Which eventually led to Vigenere chasing her off due to her continuing to think Caesar will stop his horrible thoughts and actions. As expected, Atbash still loved and cared for Vigenere despite being chased off by him. Not only did this allow her to join Snowbound, it allowed her to meet Cry.

    At the time that Atbash had joined Snowbound, Cry appeared to have quite the reputation among the tribe for having a sharp tongue, but Atbash believed this was because the raven was misunderstood. So Atbash had sought Cry out and spoke to her, and they talked about their pasts. Atbash grew to respect Cry and sympathize with her, which slowly grew into a feeling of love. It was hard to describe, but Atbash felt a rush of emotions whenever she saw Cry. She felt happiness, she felt relief, she felt her heart race at the mere mention of Cry. Oh, how she wanted to admit her feelings to Cry, but she was afraid of being rejected and their friendship being ruined because of some stupid crush. Atbash valued her and Cry's friendship and she had a feeling that would change if Cry didn't share the same feelings as she did.

    Then Dimitri had confessed his love to her, and Atbash felt bad when she had to admit that she wasn't into men. Perhaps she should have properly stated that during her pride month when she had been giving out flags, but she thought that was obvious whenever she had been handing them out. Then again, Dimitri hadn't been there, had he? It was one of his alters, though Atbash wasn't sure which one it was, and implied that he was pansexual. Of course, that didn't mean Dimitri was pansexual, it meant that the alter was, though Atbash had no idea of that at the time. Still, it felt bad to be the person rejecting another's love. It takes a lot for somebody to be able to confess how they feel, only to be shut down. And it definitely had to have been a slap on the wrist when Atbash admitted she liked women, not men at all. She had to friend-zone Dimitri and it sucked, and it only made her not want to admit her feelings to Cry even more. Atbash just hoped that her and Dimitri's friendship wasn't ruined because of love.

Word Count: 809