08-08-2018, 09:59 PM
[align=center][div style="width: 470px; font-size:9pt; font-family:calibri; text-align: justify;line-height: 110%; color:black"]For one to be deemed selfish made it necessary for the person in question to think solely of themself, thoughts revolving around the course of their own life with little regard to those about them, simple background characters to their own heroic actions. There was nothing with Goldie which spoke of such, her actions spoke of one who cared deeply and well, giving her all though it pushed her to limits which worried many for she seemed to hold no idea on how to stop. No, there was nothing selfish about the child and none would readily dispute the fact.
Yet there is nothing if not the flip of the coin, another face to match the first. It had been a harrowing experience for all involved, each clamouring to assist in anyway, and then there had been Aita. Wrapped within her own thoughts it had been fear which had controlled her, tightened about her throat so like a fist seeking to crush her, barely able to do anything. Inward had her own thoughts been turned, towards guilt for she could do so little, small paws barely suited to the work, shaking as she had made each attempt to help, and regret at coming at all, for daring to think she was of use. She remembered the taste of tears and blood as she had torn open her lower lip in worry, doing all she could to stop it, to appear competent for she was needed, caring only that the work went well.
She wasn't prepared for this and yet she had pushed on, daring to think she had done well when slowly everything was breaking apart, each night touched with nightmares of Goldie laid bare, skin parted around her back with the spine fragmented, beyond any sense of repair, screams falling upon deaf ears as she struggled to reach her, to help. For the first few days Aita had refused to allow herself to sleep, forcing herself to keep moving and to learn more, to be sure such would never happen again, never once daring to get close to the submarine. Some part of her knew in time she would need to go, check on Goldie to quieten the fear she had passed within her sleep if nothing else, but she was terrified.
A shaky breath escaped her lips and slowly she set aside the herbs she had been organising, busying her paws in hopes it might prove a useful distraction but there was no such luck, her mind continued to wander back to those worn paths. For a time Aita wondered if it might be best to simply stay, ask one of the others if she was alright for they had been taking turns on checking on her, making sure the wound was clean and changing bandages as needed. “No...” She ground the word out between clenched teeth and pushed aside that line of thought, refusing to let it rise once more. It was time she went and say Goldie on her own, make sure she was okay, her guilt be damned.
Quickly the young sage grabbed her satchel and filled it with a few herbs and rolls of bandages in case it proved necessary – busywork, that was all it was, wasting time – and a small candle after some thought. She remembered jasmine was meant to help calm the nerves and hoped the small scented candle would help in some small way, tucked away in the bottom of her bag. Swinging it over her head and setting it under one arm she took some time to adjust the strap, ears pinned against the back of her head as she drew a few deep breaths. It took another minute of this for Aita to finally raise, leaving the tree house with a quick, clumsy gait, never allowing her thoughts to wonder back for she knew if she allowed it she would never go through with this.
All too familiar was the trek from the jungle to the beach, a path she had walked most days and some nights when nightmares had pushed her to move, drawing back to the ocean for it offered some sense of comfort and peace nothing else seemed to, hurried steps given little thought as she moved. Rather than focus on the journey it was the steady and rhythmic movement of the satchel as it moved with her, gently hitting her side with each step, her breathing quickly becoming synced with it.
“Goldie,” the name rose unbidden, surprising Aita for a time as her tone took on a shaky edge, touched with fear as she found the one in question. For a time she could only watch, movement stilled with a paw hovering above the sand, mouth working yet no sound rose. Blinking a few times she finally forced herself to move closer, gaze drawn to her back as she looked for blood upon the bandages, hoping to find none for her paws shook as she took small, tentative steps, unsure now that she was here. “Ya should be restin.” Speaking softly in hopes to not startle her it took sometime for the words to leave her lips, a paw raising only to stop before it could reach Goldie. Seemingly thinking better of the act Aita placed her paw upon the sand once more, shuffling a little closer.
“Is pretty,” once more her voice proved soft and she motioned towards the shell with a tilt of her head, a soft smile lacing her lips as she watched the reaver for a response, unsure of how to proceed. She had only been alive for four months, had seen only a few hurt in such severe ways and those had been enemies she had no care for, but this was her family, someone she cared for deeply though the words seemed to escape her when she tried to express such.
Yet there is nothing if not the flip of the coin, another face to match the first. It had been a harrowing experience for all involved, each clamouring to assist in anyway, and then there had been Aita. Wrapped within her own thoughts it had been fear which had controlled her, tightened about her throat so like a fist seeking to crush her, barely able to do anything. Inward had her own thoughts been turned, towards guilt for she could do so little, small paws barely suited to the work, shaking as she had made each attempt to help, and regret at coming at all, for daring to think she was of use. She remembered the taste of tears and blood as she had torn open her lower lip in worry, doing all she could to stop it, to appear competent for she was needed, caring only that the work went well.
She wasn't prepared for this and yet she had pushed on, daring to think she had done well when slowly everything was breaking apart, each night touched with nightmares of Goldie laid bare, skin parted around her back with the spine fragmented, beyond any sense of repair, screams falling upon deaf ears as she struggled to reach her, to help. For the first few days Aita had refused to allow herself to sleep, forcing herself to keep moving and to learn more, to be sure such would never happen again, never once daring to get close to the submarine. Some part of her knew in time she would need to go, check on Goldie to quieten the fear she had passed within her sleep if nothing else, but she was terrified.
A shaky breath escaped her lips and slowly she set aside the herbs she had been organising, busying her paws in hopes it might prove a useful distraction but there was no such luck, her mind continued to wander back to those worn paths. For a time Aita wondered if it might be best to simply stay, ask one of the others if she was alright for they had been taking turns on checking on her, making sure the wound was clean and changing bandages as needed. “No...” She ground the word out between clenched teeth and pushed aside that line of thought, refusing to let it rise once more. It was time she went and say Goldie on her own, make sure she was okay, her guilt be damned.
Quickly the young sage grabbed her satchel and filled it with a few herbs and rolls of bandages in case it proved necessary – busywork, that was all it was, wasting time – and a small candle after some thought. She remembered jasmine was meant to help calm the nerves and hoped the small scented candle would help in some small way, tucked away in the bottom of her bag. Swinging it over her head and setting it under one arm she took some time to adjust the strap, ears pinned against the back of her head as she drew a few deep breaths. It took another minute of this for Aita to finally raise, leaving the tree house with a quick, clumsy gait, never allowing her thoughts to wonder back for she knew if she allowed it she would never go through with this.
All too familiar was the trek from the jungle to the beach, a path she had walked most days and some nights when nightmares had pushed her to move, drawing back to the ocean for it offered some sense of comfort and peace nothing else seemed to, hurried steps given little thought as she moved. Rather than focus on the journey it was the steady and rhythmic movement of the satchel as it moved with her, gently hitting her side with each step, her breathing quickly becoming synced with it.
“Goldie,” the name rose unbidden, surprising Aita for a time as her tone took on a shaky edge, touched with fear as she found the one in question. For a time she could only watch, movement stilled with a paw hovering above the sand, mouth working yet no sound rose. Blinking a few times she finally forced herself to move closer, gaze drawn to her back as she looked for blood upon the bandages, hoping to find none for her paws shook as she took small, tentative steps, unsure now that she was here. “Ya should be restin.” Speaking softly in hopes to not startle her it took sometime for the words to leave her lips, a paw raising only to stop before it could reach Goldie. Seemingly thinking better of the act Aita placed her paw upon the sand once more, shuffling a little closer.
“Is pretty,” once more her voice proved soft and she motioned towards the shell with a tilt of her head, a soft smile lacing her lips as she watched the reaver for a response, unsure of how to proceed. She had only been alive for four months, had seen only a few hurt in such severe ways and those had been enemies she had no care for, but this was her family, someone she cared for deeply though the words seemed to escape her when she tried to express such.