08-08-2018, 09:10 PM
[align=center]![[Image: 7f280a5c2524cfb62918733213c9d5a4-dc3bso1.gif]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/8d7d/f/2018/049/7/f/7f280a5c2524cfb62918733213c9d5a4-dc3bso1.gif)
goldenluxury "goldie" roux — female — the typhoon — tags
//wheezes absolutely no need to match + tldr: goldie is panicking in the sub, forces herself to awkwardly walk out on the beach, and is sorta just laying there, shaking and looking at a seashell
it had been several days by now since the event. she remained within the submarine, once again cut off from the world she worked so hard to be a part of. she hated it. she had just gotten caught up, why did she have to lose all of her progress now? because she was stupid. because she had failed. she deserved to feel like this.
it really did feel awful. she had simply wanted a glimpse into her future. that's what he had promised - to help her see. that's all she had wanted from him. perhaps it was selfish of her to request that of him. perhaps it was selfish to expect him to follow through. maybe this was her punishment, for being selfish. she deserved it.
no matter the reason, it had happened, and it was bad. she has put her entire family at risk. all of them. she could not fend the wolf off, no matter how much she may desire. she did not dare let her family deal with this. she did not dare utter anything but what he had told her to. she was a horrible liar, she knew, but what other choice did she have? none. this was the only way. this was the only way she knew how to protect her family now.
she hadn't slipped up yet - not as far as she knew, but she still couldn't help but fear. fear for what may happen if she did. fear for if he did it anyway. when was he going to strike on deldrach? how could she save her? she needed to come up with a plan. she had already attempted small warnings, but they could only go so far. she couldn't tell her what was going on, not unless she wanted to hurt her family too. she needed to find a way to protect them all.
these worries, these fears would leave her injured body shaking, even after being taken care of. she was filled with these terrifying images of her crewmates, her family, staring down at her - just like he said - cut up into pieces, hanging from a tree. so, despite having no choice but to rest, she still got little sleep. she was actually trying to now, too. it hurt to be awake. she felt the same panic upon just being conscious than she would waking up, and she couldn't move anyway, so why bother taking it away?
but, nightmares were rampant. it didn't matter what she tried. there was no safe place for her mind now. she was trapped within a paranoia that she could not escape, nor could she explain, 'less she wanted to bring her worst fears to life. she panicked often now, much more openly than before. she was within the submarine, anyway, so it's not like it was public. the most to see it now was her family that passed through, mainly her papa and mister dad. she didn't wish to make them worry anymore, but she couldn't help it. it was so scary. it was so overwhelming.
today was no exception to those nightmares. nobody was within the submarine as she woke up, though, and she was beginning to hallucinate. she was seeing things, hearing things. the blood that had stained her mind the morning her papa was found dead, decius' words repeating within her head, and things her mind seemed to create on its own. the eyes, staring at her. she felt the absolute horror settle in. she wanted it to go away. she wanted all of it to go away.
how could she make it go away? she was all alone. sharp breaths and small cries escaped her as she tried to ground herself on something. but, she couldn't. it wouldn't go away. the feline kicked at her bed. "st-stop," she would weakly cry, accidentally pushing herself off of the bed and onto the floor. "stop i-it."
goldenluxury stared at the ground below her, legs trembling. she had lost most mobility in her hind legs since the attack, due to his direct damage onto her spine. she hadn't walked at all the past few days, because she had no choice. she needed to get up, though. she needed to get off of the floor. she needed to find somebody. she needed to know that it was okay - that she hadn't messed up anymore.
the girl inhaled sharply, her front legs pushing her upward first, and then slowly, painfully, her hind legs. the weight caused her to stumble back onto her butt, her legs shaking harshly. she repeated, now getting balancing herself. she slowly and painfully pushed herself outside of the submarine, lynn following behind her with concerned caws.
she would awkwardly and clumsily stumble onto the beach, hind legs low and slow as they struggled to move and head head low as she tried to breathe, to see the world. she needed to see that it was okay. goldie felt the sun against her damaged, bandaged back as she moved slowly, stumbling back and forth as she tried to just find something familiar that she could hold onto.
but, she found nothing. nothing but the territory. so, she looked to the trees. there was nothing there. there were no pieces staring down at her. the girl pushed herself towards the shore, letting herself collapse once she reached it. she let in sharp breaths, body aching and quivering. she stared out to the waters, blinking at them, her expression a mixture of fear, sadness, and wonder. the feline slowly picked up a seashell and looked towards it, just finding things to ground her now.
what she'd do now, she wasn't sure. she slowly calmed down a little by herself, body still shaking. at least she knew she could move her legs still, she guessed. she wasn't so sure how she'd get back. she didn't exactly want to get back. not yet. she wanted to breathe.
it had been several days by now since the event. she remained within the submarine, once again cut off from the world she worked so hard to be a part of. she hated it. she had just gotten caught up, why did she have to lose all of her progress now? because she was stupid. because she had failed. she deserved to feel like this.
it really did feel awful. she had simply wanted a glimpse into her future. that's what he had promised - to help her see. that's all she had wanted from him. perhaps it was selfish of her to request that of him. perhaps it was selfish to expect him to follow through. maybe this was her punishment, for being selfish. she deserved it.
no matter the reason, it had happened, and it was bad. she has put her entire family at risk. all of them. she could not fend the wolf off, no matter how much she may desire. she did not dare let her family deal with this. she did not dare utter anything but what he had told her to. she was a horrible liar, she knew, but what other choice did she have? none. this was the only way. this was the only way she knew how to protect her family now.
she hadn't slipped up yet - not as far as she knew, but she still couldn't help but fear. fear for what may happen if she did. fear for if he did it anyway. when was he going to strike on deldrach? how could she save her? she needed to come up with a plan. she had already attempted small warnings, but they could only go so far. she couldn't tell her what was going on, not unless she wanted to hurt her family too. she needed to find a way to protect them all.
these worries, these fears would leave her injured body shaking, even after being taken care of. she was filled with these terrifying images of her crewmates, her family, staring down at her - just like he said - cut up into pieces, hanging from a tree. so, despite having no choice but to rest, she still got little sleep. she was actually trying to now, too. it hurt to be awake. she felt the same panic upon just being conscious than she would waking up, and she couldn't move anyway, so why bother taking it away?
but, nightmares were rampant. it didn't matter what she tried. there was no safe place for her mind now. she was trapped within a paranoia that she could not escape, nor could she explain, 'less she wanted to bring her worst fears to life. she panicked often now, much more openly than before. she was within the submarine, anyway, so it's not like it was public. the most to see it now was her family that passed through, mainly her papa and mister dad. she didn't wish to make them worry anymore, but she couldn't help it. it was so scary. it was so overwhelming.
today was no exception to those nightmares. nobody was within the submarine as she woke up, though, and she was beginning to hallucinate. she was seeing things, hearing things. the blood that had stained her mind the morning her papa was found dead, decius' words repeating within her head, and things her mind seemed to create on its own. the eyes, staring at her. she felt the absolute horror settle in. she wanted it to go away. she wanted all of it to go away.
how could she make it go away? she was all alone. sharp breaths and small cries escaped her as she tried to ground herself on something. but, she couldn't. it wouldn't go away. the feline kicked at her bed. "st-stop," she would weakly cry, accidentally pushing herself off of the bed and onto the floor. "stop i-it."
goldenluxury stared at the ground below her, legs trembling. she had lost most mobility in her hind legs since the attack, due to his direct damage onto her spine. she hadn't walked at all the past few days, because she had no choice. she needed to get up, though. she needed to get off of the floor. she needed to find somebody. she needed to know that it was okay - that she hadn't messed up anymore.
the girl inhaled sharply, her front legs pushing her upward first, and then slowly, painfully, her hind legs. the weight caused her to stumble back onto her butt, her legs shaking harshly. she repeated, now getting balancing herself. she slowly and painfully pushed herself outside of the submarine, lynn following behind her with concerned caws.
she would awkwardly and clumsily stumble onto the beach, hind legs low and slow as they struggled to move and head head low as she tried to breathe, to see the world. she needed to see that it was okay. goldie felt the sun against her damaged, bandaged back as she moved slowly, stumbling back and forth as she tried to just find something familiar that she could hold onto.
but, she found nothing. nothing but the territory. so, she looked to the trees. there was nothing there. there were no pieces staring down at her. the girl pushed herself towards the shore, letting herself collapse once she reached it. she let in sharp breaths, body aching and quivering. she stared out to the waters, blinking at them, her expression a mixture of fear, sadness, and wonder. the feline slowly picked up a seashell and looked towards it, just finding things to ground her now.
what she'd do now, she wasn't sure. she slowly calmed down a little by herself, body still shaking. at least she knew she could move her legs still, she guessed. she wasn't so sure how she'd get back. she didn't exactly want to get back. not yet. she wanted to breathe.
NOTHING'S EVER LOST FOREVER, IT'S JUST HIDING IN THE RECESS OF YOUR MIND AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, IT WILL COME TO YOU AT NIGHT. I MISS THE YELLOW. I MISS THE YELLING AND THE SHAKEDOWN. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, NO, I GOT A BETTER SET OF KNIVES NOW. I MISS MY DRUMMER, MY DEAD STEPBROTHER, AND THE PIT CROWD. AND CHUCK AND MATTY - IF THEY COULD SEE ME THEY'D BE SO PROUD.