2. hurt + when has y/c lied before?
Lying was something he was used to. He had never felt good about lying, but it was easier than explaining to everyone he met that he had multiple personalities and you had the fortunate happenstance of meeting Dimitri first. He’d been lying to the clan for at least a month before he finally confessed their problems. He just wondered how long it would take everyone to learn his Alters. Meeting a group meant wondering whether to introduce themselves as a singular or a the group. A single was just… easier and less complicated to appear as. It made him feel bad for his alters. They had to adjust and act like him. That hadn’t gone over so well in Snowbound. Revealing that they were a group was all around relieving. Dimitri was glad they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore, but he worried more the others stepping out of line or causing trouble.
They’re trapped.
Dimitri sometimes wondered how much control he should have over his alters, or let them run fee. Mostly because he had to let them be themselves and roam free, but, he wasn’t fine with them doing that in his body. He wasn’t fine with Donovan running around and being such a… Donovan. He didn’t wanna call the sexual alter a slutty, slutty man. He didn’t know how else to express it. He worried about Donovan getting into relationships without the group’s consent and didn’t even know what they would do when they would get into a relationship. Would they… take turns?
He didn’t know.
He remembered…. lying to his parents. He remembered Dagon lying to them, too. Especially to his father. Anything to get the large tom to leave him alone. He remembered once, his mother grabbing him an sinking her claws into her infant’s shoulders, shaking him, asking him what he had done with her drugs. His mother thought of the world as her cage and her drugs were once her escape to put her in a drunken stupor. She didn’t love her son. She never loved her son.
Dimitri. Stop.
He wanted so bad to believe his mother had loved him. The black and white tuxedo sometimes lulled him into a sense of false security, take him around her tail and holding him close, grooming his fur and telling him stories.
They didn’t know why she had pretended like that.
Maybe they never would.
His father had been worse in some ways- the abuse, the belief his dad would change. The lie that someday they would all be a happy family. Dimitri had lied to himself more than anyone his whole life.
“Why did they never love me? What did I do?” That question had haunted him as a kit. Sometimes it still did. Dimitri’s head turned, as if he was listening for someone’s voice.
“I don’t know, Dimitri.”
There was one lie he had told himself for a long time.
Dagon, as a prosecutor, had been initially modeled after his father.
"speech"
Lying was something he was used to. He had never felt good about lying, but it was easier than explaining to everyone he met that he had multiple personalities and you had the fortunate happenstance of meeting Dimitri first. He’d been lying to the clan for at least a month before he finally confessed their problems. He just wondered how long it would take everyone to learn his Alters. Meeting a group meant wondering whether to introduce themselves as a singular or a the group. A single was just… easier and less complicated to appear as. It made him feel bad for his alters. They had to adjust and act like him. That hadn’t gone over so well in Snowbound. Revealing that they were a group was all around relieving. Dimitri was glad they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore, but he worried more the others stepping out of line or causing trouble.
They’re trapped.
Dimitri sometimes wondered how much control he should have over his alters, or let them run fee. Mostly because he had to let them be themselves and roam free, but, he wasn’t fine with them doing that in his body. He wasn’t fine with Donovan running around and being such a… Donovan. He didn’t wanna call the sexual alter a slutty, slutty man. He didn’t know how else to express it. He worried about Donovan getting into relationships without the group’s consent and didn’t even know what they would do when they would get into a relationship. Would they… take turns?
He didn’t know.
He remembered…. lying to his parents. He remembered Dagon lying to them, too. Especially to his father. Anything to get the large tom to leave him alone. He remembered once, his mother grabbing him an sinking her claws into her infant’s shoulders, shaking him, asking him what he had done with her drugs. His mother thought of the world as her cage and her drugs were once her escape to put her in a drunken stupor. She didn’t love her son. She never loved her son.
Dimitri. Stop.
He wanted so bad to believe his mother had loved him. The black and white tuxedo sometimes lulled him into a sense of false security, take him around her tail and holding him close, grooming his fur and telling him stories.
They didn’t know why she had pretended like that.
Maybe they never would.
His father had been worse in some ways- the abuse, the belief his dad would change. The lie that someday they would all be a happy family. Dimitri had lied to himself more than anyone his whole life.
“Why did they never love me? What did I do?” That question had haunted him as a kit. Sometimes it still did. Dimitri’s head turned, as if he was listening for someone’s voice.
“I don’t know, Dimitri.”
There was one lie he had told himself for a long time.
Dagon, as a prosecutor, had been initially modeled after his father.
"speech"
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The only time I ever see her
Is when she's behind me in the mirror
Is when she's behind me in the mirror
Owlie / Resident Apex Legends Fanatic / owlie#5369