FELIKS' AUGUST CDC TRACKER

[FELIKS]

FELIKS — SNOWBOUND

I. LOYALTY - NO REMORSE FOR THE TRUST YOU'RE BREAKING

The griffon meandered through the camp, between the couples and friends bunched together to spite the isolating cold, settling by himself. Wide eyes weren't blinking, tail wasn't lashing despite the mild irritation he felt at the sight, and paws hardly shuffled around even if it was his second favourite habit. Their masks were easy enough to wear, smiles for days and petty cries of 'I love you' and 'We'll always be friends', most were content with being force fed those lies if it meant having a easier life just for a little bit, but Feliks had grown past such obsequious behaviour. He'd always been an animal who's own loyalty had been a constant question, even when he was still young and naive. For a time, it appeared as if the miraculous animal was too selfish to hold down a longterm friendship (and such air-headed hedonism had caused various former betrayals), but now... it looked like he'd stopped caring to try completely. His eyes were always so intense, always so expressive, however as soon as loyalty was mentioned, they dimmed as if there was a blackout.

It wasn't like it was entirely his fault that he was void of all loyalty. Once upon a time he had been a faithful leader to a small-name group, when he had stepped down due to severe injuries they had all turned their backs on him. Redacted from their history books, exiled, all to appease political enemies that the male had made due to his uncanny bluntness. One of those enemies had pretended to love him as well... only to spill the beans of their treachery when he'd already planned to spend the rest of his life with them. Nine months down the drain, a legacy ruined, it was understandable for the griffon to not be keen to stick to an ideal after that. So he looked back to them friends and couples scornfully, and finally his talons dug into the ground. How could they be content pretending to be loyal? How could they be content pretending to care for one another? His stomach growled with a sickening feeling, a dark cloud passing over his face once the realisation kicked in that they'd never change. They wanted to live simply, he couldn't interfere in that no matter how hard he tried.

When thinking of the Snowbound, the male felt nothing. No inch of devotion trickled in his veins, and he was perfectly content with that. Groups always changed, creatures always changed, there was no difference when looking past the surface. It look one bad day for a good leader to turn bad and as soon as that happened it was bye bye to a group he may have been faithful to. Why would Feliks put himself in a situation where he'd be hurt again? Life wasn't about devoting yourself to a lost cause, or seeing if you could lead a group which would ultimately die out at some point in the future, it was about survival and always had been. Such goals made him no better than those who he criticised for back-stabbing, but as least Feliks was self-aware, and would try to avoid leading others on for fear that his grey morality would darken should he not be cautious of who he was hurting. There were things that he had done that he couldn't live with himself for doing, scarring his own face as punishment for his selfish actions, and going down a path where he thought that lashing out at children was ok would devoid him of more than just loyalty.

No loyalty to a cause, no loyalty to individuals, barely any loyalty to himself and his ideas, it was a cruel world to live in when trust was so nullified by a bad life.

© MADI