07-29-2018, 06:52 AM
STILL A WIP.
There are lingering thoughts of the nightmare previously held as argus sits on the beach to wake up. It is the end of the month, and there is no real meaning to that, just another moon counting by their continued existence.
Argus has the same air about them that many here do, the one that says I have seen the very worst this world has to offer and it has not broken me. It’s a dare, a bet, a reckless declaration entirely backed by fact and experience, and again, they wonder how many have fallen to it. Fallen for it, and then found out far too late that argus is everything they claim to be and more.
But Argus did not become this way by sitting idle either, no. For the world has broken them. It takes years for the broken to fade into some sebalance of clarity, and even then it is a horror to wake up and realise you have become the one thing you have feared. The one thing you hated to become. It is hell, brutal and meaningless life until it isn’t anymore. When you learn how to get up, to breathe and live not in spite of who you were but because-
Argus looks out and marvels. For a startling moment the past and the current align in a near perfect symmetry. If they could go back in time, and fix everything it would be a hard choice, but it would be so much easier to breathe with- to decide not to. Because Argus needed to mourn- needed to hate to become who they are now. And maybe... maybe now they are not happy. Not fully- but they are content in a way that they never have been. At peace where there was always a restless driving need that at times had driven them mad. It is enough for now. Enough to make their life so far worth it, knowing this peace.
They have a leader they can annoy, a crew to protect, friends and family. It is more than they were given coming into this world. It is more than they had ever earned- than they deserved for all the hurt that they have done. Here, argus sits with trauma coloring their fur, and eyes hiding their true nature. There are still secrets to tell. Still wounds to heal and still so much to make up for.
But today- feels like a good day. Good enough for them to smile, and the giant gapeing hole in their chest seems to shrink slightly- it is no one’s business but their own, is it?
There are lingering thoughts of the nightmare previously held as argus sits on the beach to wake up. It is the end of the month, and there is no real meaning to that, just another moon counting by their continued existence.
Argus has the same air about them that many here do, the one that says I have seen the very worst this world has to offer and it has not broken me. It’s a dare, a bet, a reckless declaration entirely backed by fact and experience, and again, they wonder how many have fallen to it. Fallen for it, and then found out far too late that argus is everything they claim to be and more.
But Argus did not become this way by sitting idle either, no. For the world has broken them. It takes years for the broken to fade into some sebalance of clarity, and even then it is a horror to wake up and realise you have become the one thing you have feared. The one thing you hated to become. It is hell, brutal and meaningless life until it isn’t anymore. When you learn how to get up, to breathe and live not in spite of who you were but because-
Argus looks out and marvels. For a startling moment the past and the current align in a near perfect symmetry. If they could go back in time, and fix everything it would be a hard choice, but it would be so much easier to breathe with- to decide not to. Because Argus needed to mourn- needed to hate to become who they are now. And maybe... maybe now they are not happy. Not fully- but they are content in a way that they never have been. At peace where there was always a restless driving need that at times had driven them mad. It is enough for now. Enough to make their life so far worth it, knowing this peace.
They have a leader they can annoy, a crew to protect, friends and family. It is more than they were given coming into this world. It is more than they had ever earned- than they deserved for all the hurt that they have done. Here, argus sits with trauma coloring their fur, and eyes hiding their true nature. There are still secrets to tell. Still wounds to heal and still so much to make up for.
But today- feels like a good day. Good enough for them to smile, and the giant gapeing hole in their chest seems to shrink slightly- it is no one’s business but their own, is it?
ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ sᴄʀᴏʟʟɪɴɢ // ʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss
[glow=#212121,2,300][/glow]
[glow=white,2,20] - a pity this city has ruined us [b]![/glow]
[glow=white,2,20] - a pity this city has ruined us [b]![/glow]