07-13-2018, 05:58 PM
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goldenluxury "goldie" roux — female — the typhoon — tags
she watched him react quietly, her ears perking upward slightly. she wasn't planning on moving, actually. everything hurt too bad for that, and she was sure she'd immediately fall over if she tried. she was quite dizzy. she did stretch out, though. she doesn't know how long she's been asleep, but it certainly felt like a while. her whole body was stiff and shook with each movement. she sighed silently, trying to relax her muscles and ignore the stinging as her papa moved closer.
as he spoke again, a calm and warm feeling rushed over her. she was so happy to be alive and to be with her papa. a small purr escaped her as he moved up against her. it wasn't a sound she made often, so it was truly genuine and warm as it was released. she tried to gently rest her head against him, feeling relaxed now. it was all okay. she would be okay and she could still do so many things she wanted to do. her papa was right here and he wasn't going anywhere. it was all so good.
"did i miss anything important?" she asked softly, only just noticing how dry her throat was. it almost sounded like she had a cold, though she didn't. she hoped she hadn't missed anything. sleeping was bad. it felt good, but it lead her to miss things. she couldn't do anything useful while she slept. she couldn't help anyone or make sure everyone is okay or prevent her papa's death if she slept. so, the fact that she felt this way lead her to believe she slept for a while, which is concerning. but, she still felt so tired.
"i'm sorry f-for worrying anyone. i didn't mean to." she decided to apologize next, her words slow. it was kind of hard to think right now. it was hard to talk, too, but she wanted to do it anyway. there were a lot of things she had wanted to say before going unconscious. now that she was, in fact, awake and alive, she could say them. "love you, papa," goldie murmured, sort of lazily. her body wanted to sleep again, but she didn't. it was easier to fight back this time.
she had something else she really wanted to ask about, but she wasn't sure if she should. the urge to know was sort of overwhelming her, but she didn't know if he'd like her asking it. it might make him upset. but, she so badly wanted to know. "papa, wh-what's it like...to die?" her voice was quiet as she asked. she wasn't actually so sure she wanted him to talk about death. but, she wanted to know if she really had experienced it out in the ocean. she still felt unsure even after she says the words.
"a-after the barracuda attacked me, i realized i had swam too far away from shore to really...make it back. i was bleeding a lot and was already tired. i tried. i wanted to see you all again. but, i hadn't gotten very far before my body wouldn't move anymore and everything just sort of...went away, if that makes sense. i only felt something again once i was struck by lightning, hours later, and was still underwater." she tried to explain slowly, hoping it wouldn't make him too upset. she tried to use it as context for why she was asking. she wasn't asking for when she'd washed up on the beach, but when she was still out at seas. it was clear she survived now, but she wanted to understand what had happened before.
but, maybe he wouldn't want to really respond to all that. it wasn't fair to expect him to, she decided. and, she was already starting to feel like sleeping again, despite her efforts to fight it. "y-you don't need to answer, if you don't want. sorry." she added, sort of quickly now. her hazy mind was making it hard to think and know what to say. "i've just...been trying really hard. i don't want to let anyone down." her voice revealed a bit of the sadness and stress she had been bottling up, though also carried a bit of exhaustion. she closed her eyes slowly, gently resting against her papa as she waited for him to respond.
as he spoke again, a calm and warm feeling rushed over her. she was so happy to be alive and to be with her papa. a small purr escaped her as he moved up against her. it wasn't a sound she made often, so it was truly genuine and warm as it was released. she tried to gently rest her head against him, feeling relaxed now. it was all okay. she would be okay and she could still do so many things she wanted to do. her papa was right here and he wasn't going anywhere. it was all so good.
"did i miss anything important?" she asked softly, only just noticing how dry her throat was. it almost sounded like she had a cold, though she didn't. she hoped she hadn't missed anything. sleeping was bad. it felt good, but it lead her to miss things. she couldn't do anything useful while she slept. she couldn't help anyone or make sure everyone is okay or prevent her papa's death if she slept. so, the fact that she felt this way lead her to believe she slept for a while, which is concerning. but, she still felt so tired.
"i'm sorry f-for worrying anyone. i didn't mean to." she decided to apologize next, her words slow. it was kind of hard to think right now. it was hard to talk, too, but she wanted to do it anyway. there were a lot of things she had wanted to say before going unconscious. now that she was, in fact, awake and alive, she could say them. "love you, papa," goldie murmured, sort of lazily. her body wanted to sleep again, but she didn't. it was easier to fight back this time.
she had something else she really wanted to ask about, but she wasn't sure if she should. the urge to know was sort of overwhelming her, but she didn't know if he'd like her asking it. it might make him upset. but, she so badly wanted to know. "papa, wh-what's it like...to die?" her voice was quiet as she asked. she wasn't actually so sure she wanted him to talk about death. but, she wanted to know if she really had experienced it out in the ocean. she still felt unsure even after she says the words.
"a-after the barracuda attacked me, i realized i had swam too far away from shore to really...make it back. i was bleeding a lot and was already tired. i tried. i wanted to see you all again. but, i hadn't gotten very far before my body wouldn't move anymore and everything just sort of...went away, if that makes sense. i only felt something again once i was struck by lightning, hours later, and was still underwater." she tried to explain slowly, hoping it wouldn't make him too upset. she tried to use it as context for why she was asking. she wasn't asking for when she'd washed up on the beach, but when she was still out at seas. it was clear she survived now, but she wanted to understand what had happened before.
but, maybe he wouldn't want to really respond to all that. it wasn't fair to expect him to, she decided. and, she was already starting to feel like sleeping again, despite her efforts to fight it. "y-you don't need to answer, if you don't want. sorry." she added, sort of quickly now. her hazy mind was making it hard to think and know what to say. "i've just...been trying really hard. i don't want to let anyone down." her voice revealed a bit of the sadness and stress she had been bottling up, though also carried a bit of exhaustion. she closed her eyes slowly, gently resting against her papa as she waited for him to respond.
NOTHING'S EVER LOST FOREVER, IT'S JUST HIDING IN THE RECESS OF YOUR MIND AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, IT WILL COME TO YOU AT NIGHT. I MISS THE YELLOW. I MISS THE YELLING AND THE SHAKEDOWN. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, NO, I GOT A BETTER SET OF KNIVES NOW. I MISS MY DRUMMER, MY DEAD STEPBROTHER, AND THE PIT CROWD. AND CHUCK AND MATTY - IF THEY COULD SEE ME THEY'D BE SO PROUD.