07-11-2018, 09:53 PM
Dreaming was a strange thing for Washington to deal with. He often timed didn't remember what was happening by the time he did wake up, but there were bits and pieces he could remember. After having his memory basically tampered with already, Washington didn't have all of the memories that he used to have before the implantation of the AI into his brain. He thought that maybe the memories would end up coming back, but instead, it seemed like everything had been replaced with the memories that were basically downloaded into his brain at the end. Washington didn't really commonly dream on the ship that housed Project Freelancer before coming here. The Counselor had once brought up if he dreamed of those that he had killed in the past. Which he would be quick to answer and say that no he didn't. He had gotten over that hurdle before he had even joined Project Freelancer. As long as he knew that they were the good guys and that they were doing the right thing he had no reason to try and doubt himself for what he was doing.
Even killing humans was part of their cause, although killing their own species was certainly something that he wasn't used to. So, if he didn't dream about those that he had killed or had nightmares about them, what did he dream about? He wasn't sure. He was pretty sure he dreamed like any other normal person. That was because he usually went to sleep on the ship and when he woke up he didn't remember dreaming at all. And if he did it was just quick flashes and nothing else. He was no longer on that ship anymore though, and getting sleep was something that was incredibly hard for him to do without screaming out. He was forced to live through the horrors that Epsilon had gone through. Hearing about that everything that he did just end up in nothing but failure and those that he deeply cared about was dead because of him. It was horrid, and it was the worst kind of torture because the Alpha didn't know what he was forced to go through either. Epsilon's memories were now his own, and there was a very small line on figuring out which were his own and which were not his own. Half the time he could barely even tell what was real and what could be considered a hallucination.
Something that no one had yet to see, and something that he was planning on keeping under wraps. His over health had been improving over the course of several days. Even if it was just a small improvement it was an improvement nonetheless. He had plenty of nightmares if he slept longer than he should have been doing. But giving himself only 2 hours of sleep meant that there was now time for him to enter any sort of deep sleep for more than an hour. He had to get comfortable enough to even try to sleep even if Carolina was by his side. Just because Carolina was around him didn't mean that he could relax either. Considering that Carolina probably didn't trust him, he still didn't trust her either. She was currently stronger than he was right now, and if it started with a fight she would kill him. It was advantageous to get the Alpha leader to be on his side if he could handle it. Although it had gotten difficult to keep her out of trouble, although he could tell that she was actually trying to behave herself. There were times that Washington would see the Freelancers standing in a line. They were his friends. They were his family. Then he had to watch as the AI tore them apart, sisters and brother walking away from one another willing to kill the other if they had to.
Others that cared about another but had a didn't idea of what they wanted for their lives and their own morals. He was caught in the middle forced to choose a side. Aside that would mean that there would be others that would end up being his enemy if they figured out. If Carolina knew what he was planning on doing when they got back to being human, he had no doubt in his mind that she would try to kill him. It would be less threat to her once she started going after the Director after all. He wasn't about to share his feelings on the subject as he knew it was touchy for her. Her own father. Washington was probably the only one that knew that the creator of Project Freelancer was indeed her father through Epsilons and Alpha's memories. He hadn't had enough will to look through all the memories that were given to him, and honestly he would prefer to stay out of his own head. He didn't want any of the Freelancer's dead. They all deserved better. God they all deserved better than the fate that they were handed. And yet, Washington knew that there would come a time where he might end up killing them.
He learned his lesson when it came to hesitating to pull the trigger. It could get him killed, and he wanted to live, he just didn't want to live in the current body that he was handed to. He would kill a Freelancer that got in his way. The same went for Carolina if she caused too much trouble for him and he lost his leverage. He wasn't as innocent anymore like he used to me. He wasn't the rookie anymore that made sarcastic jokes all of the time. He was bitter. Stubborn. And stern. He had enough of all of this and just wanted to be through with all of it. What he would give to go back to the good ol' days of Project Freelancer where they were following the Director blindly because they believed in the work that he was conducting. To never have Epsilon put inside of his head. Only if that really worked. Washington, of course, knew about the storm that was going on outside. Lightning and thunder didn't bother the extinct cat. To him, it almost sounded like a scorpion tank going off, and hearing something like that was most definitely reassuring to win the likes of a battle. And the ran that was constantly splattering against the roof and the window reminded him almost of a hail of bullets that were being shot onto the battlefield.
It probably would have been strange for him to tell other's that anything that sounded like his time during the military comforted him a good degree. If only he had stayed in the UNSC, none of this would have happened to him. Washington wasn't really asleep when Carolina started to move around. He could feel her shifting form against the back portion of his armor. Was she scared? If she was he couldn't tell. It was around the time that he was supposed to go on his morning run. At least in a couple of hours. He liked to stick to his schedule and often had to be good when it came to sneaking out so that Carolina wouldn't hear him. Basically impossible with the bulky body that he had anyway. Washington listened as Carolina left, the Freelancer trying her best to make sure that he didn't hear her. Once she left the room though, Washington moved his head to look over his shoulder before rolling his body with the rest of him. Getting up from the mattress, he made his way toward the door, and barely placed his helmet against the side of the door listening to hear if she was still outside of the door and just needed some air. He couldn't hear any breathing, and so he opened the door seeing that there was no one there.
Where the hell was she going at this time of night? For him it was normal, but for someone that needed the rest, it wasn't normal for her. He blinked his eyes as he debated whether or not he should go after her. Considering all the strange things that this world had to offer, he was going to go after her. She was capable of protecting herself, yes, but an extra set of paws wouldn't hurt. Washington followed where he believed that Carolina was going through. He couldn't use scent to track someone down so he was usually just using his eyes to see where she was going. He was trying his best to keep to the shadows so that the lights of his armor didn't give him away. The entirety of the Observatory was quiet at this time of night. Not unusual. Washington stopped himself when he could hear Carolina talking to herself. Calling to the AI that was no longer there. Was she hallucinating? She did say that her AI was removed like what he was going through, and it caused his mouth to shut itself and his throat to close itself. This wasn't good. He rounded the corner as Carolina started to walk out into the rain.
He knew no animal should be out during a storm anyway. Washington opened his jaws to call out toward Carolina but stopped himself. There had to be something else that he was missing. He looked at the layer of rain that was coming down from the building and in front of him. He had no choice but to go out into the pouring rain. He took a step forward and listened as the large raindrops pounded his helmet, making the sound of the rain almost roar as the water collided with the metal. Washington didn't have time to think about that though because he couldn't lose Carolina's form, not in her current state. She wasn't herself. Washington knew that, but he had never heard Carolina so distraught before. What was she even seeing? Washington made his way across the plains and it seemed like she was walking in the direction of where she had landed. The Freelancer had the lights on his armor on, making it easier for him to see in the darkness and easier for him to see where he was going. Washington could barely hear the leopard over the rain that was pouring down, but he did hear the mention of York. Oh no. Washington's heart immediately sank at the mention of the locksmith. This situation just got a whole lot more difficult than he thought it was going to be.
A frown was plastered on Washington's face, as he knew what it was like to lose someone that he cared about. Although, that wasn't really his feelings, he knew the grief that the Director had felt in its entirety when Allison died. He made his way down the rocky shore when he noticed something catch his gaze, and his flashlights caused whatever it was to shine. It was a lighter. A lighter that he recognized Carolina flipping open and closed when she was thinking on the Mother of Invention. How did that get here? It had to have been wash up just like Carolina had been. He still didn't say anything, and he wasn't sure if Carolina could hear him over her own grief. He had no idea what had happened between the two on the ship. He knew nothing about their relationship but knew that they cared about one another. He used one of his paws to scoop up the lighter that was on the ground and turned in Carolina's direction. "Carolina..." Washington would say tentatively. He knew that her sadness could probably turn to rage if he caught her off guard, so he was tentative with the way that he spoke. He made sure that his paw was angled so that she could see the light that was on his paw pads, basically offering it to her silently. He wasn't going to question what was happening to her. He just needed to be there as some form of support. "speech"
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