「 ❝ I'M SO BORED WITH THE USA ❞ ┊ TOMMY DEVITO 」

[Beatles.]

old quotes (from ff):

the coolest guy in the clan, trademarked

if he needs hoes why doesnt he just date himself

"so no head?" - jersey

i feel like jerseyboy would get detention for socking the principal in the face because he looked at him funny

... also jersey the fuckboi king lmao.

kink'o'meter
"How kinky r u on a scale of 1 to jb"

peri: *is afraid of conflict*
also peri: *strangely aroused when JB starts beating someone up*

Men, as opposed to women, had two heads, and Jerseyboy tended to think more with the one between his legs.

jersey is a hollywoodized east coaster to a t.

jersey needs his balls dude
they're all he has

i feel like it's his goal to fuck all the chicks before he kicks the bucket. i honestly really like him? maybe it's his i-don't-care attitude. he doesn't really think before he acts. but he's not all piss and vinegar- it's obvious he feels regret for at least some of his actions, and i know he has a soft spot for jacob. smh. jersey is and will always be the reigning fuckboi.

jersey: i know you're not gonna flirt with me but can you at least compliment my ass

u mean besides jersey stealing girls hearts and virginities

he's trash, he's ass, he's mr trashy-ass

> DICKstraction
> that’s what jersey is

WHEN DID THIS CHAT BECOME A JERSEY'S ASS APPRECIATION GROUP????????????????????????????????????????????

[10/15/17, 10:26:46 AM] dakot: WAIT ISN'T JERSEY CATHOLIC CANONICALLY
[10/15/17, 10:26:49 AM] Vellichor Dream: also beats I saw u in the Sunclan chat //wiggles eyebrows
[10/15/17, 10:26:56 AM] Beatles: winks
[10/15/17, 10:26:59 AM] cobblepot: hesa Bad Catholic
[10/15/17, 10:27:00 AM] Beatles: WAIT YES HE IS
[10/15/17, 10:27:01 AM] Vellichor Dream: I thought Jers was Catholic
[10/15/17, 10:27:04 AM] lala: jersey is NOT A CATHOLIC
[10/15/17, 10:27:06 AM] Beatles: but he’s Super Bad At iT
[10/15/17, 10:27:06 AM] lala: HOW
[10/15/17, 10:27:07 AM] Vellichor Dream: But a bad catholic lol
[10/15/17, 10:27:09 AM] Kicksie: Y’all idk how Jonah even ended up in BloodClan lmao out of all places
[10/15/17, 10:27:11 AM] lala: HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
[10/15/17, 10:27:13 AM] dakot: during an "encounter" with barb, he slowly leans over with a bible and whispers "the best protection u could have"
[10/15/17, 10:27:14 AM] cobblepot: he takes his cross off to sin
[10/15/17, 10:27:17 AM] lala: AS?KDFA?HSG
[10/15/17, 10:27:18 AM] cobblepot: I CSCREAMED
[10/15/17, 10:27:21 AM] Vellichor Dream: OH MY GOSH
[10/15/17, 10:27:21 AM] Beatles: hey i mean i’m christian but i sin lol
[10/15/17, 10:27:22 AM] Kicksie: XD
[10/15/17, 10:27:26 AM] Beatles: LOL COBBLE
[10/15/17, 10:27:32 AM] lala: beats u dont sin like he does
[10/15/17, 10:27:33 AM] cobblepot: god dont need to see that
[10/15/17, 10:27:43 AM] Sky ▽: oml xD
[10/15/17, 10:27:45 AM] Beatles: HE HAS A PICTURE OF JESUS NEXT TO HIS BED BUT
[10/15/17, 10:27:48 AM] Beatles: HE PUTS IT FACE DOWN
[10/15/17, 10:27:49 AM] lala: NOOO DOES HE
[10/15/17, 10:27:51 AM] Vellichor Dream: WHAT
[10/15/17, 10:27:51 AM] cobblepot: OH
[10/15/17, 10:27:53 AM] lala: OMFGGGGG
[10/15/17, 10:27:53 AM] Kicksie: OMG JERS
[10/15/17, 10:27:53 AM] Beatles: “spare His eyes"
[10/15/17, 10:27:54 AM] cobblepot: NO

old awards (from ff):

BlizzardClan:
— favorite overall character
—​ best developed character
— hottest character (4)
— most eligible bachelor (3)
— most likely to text "send nudes" (3)
— favorite hp (2)
— most likely to be arrested for stealing soda in a water cup (2)
— most likely to become an alcoholic (2)
— most likely to get their own reality tv show (2)
— worst to take home to parents (2)
— funniest character
— cleverest character
— clan sinnamon roll
— ​that one loud person blasting their bad music too loud on the beach
— pees in the ocean instead of the restroom
— most likely to wear sunglasses and check people out​​
— most likely to die alone
— most likely to sin
— most likely to be a secret porn star
— most dateable character
— most likely to punch a hole in the wall
— most likely to spontaneously combust (out of rage)
— most likely to get road rage
— most likely to get stuck in a love triangle
— most likely to be sacrificed by the cult
— most likely to run a famous tumblr blog
— most likely to star on broadway
— most likely to live the american dream
— most likely to die by vending machine
— most likely to sue everyone
— most likely to run for president 2020
— most likely to eat santa's cookies
— most likely to eat the yellow snow on a dare
— most likely to be touching spaghetti
— most likely to have spaghetti touched
— staying inside laughing at the people shoveling the snow
— naughty list

SunClan:
— resident sinnamon roll
— life of the party