the truth untold -- open, return

[london r.]

London was a horrible person. There was no way of beautifying that, not now at least. Not anymore. For the second time now, she hadn't done anything when she should have. She should have helped and yet, she ran instead. It had just been all too familiar, too close to her heart. Her family had died of an unknown illness that just came randomly, like a knock on the door. And Snowbound's situation had been much too similar. She hadn't been able to take it, she could almost hear the futile comfort her mother had attempted to offer back then, saying it would be okay, that her brothers would get better soon and she would be allowed near them again. But they never did, no, they got worse, and she had just turned a blind eye, trusting that her mother knew best. Watching as doctor after doctor came to tell them the same news over and over and over. That they just didn't know what was wrong. They offered medicines to ease the symptoms, but there wasn't much else that they had done. But at least they had tried, rather than doing nothing at all.

It was pathetic that these dreams still haunted her, but after another unfamiliar illness had come into the picture, poisoning the prey and her friends, she just couldn't stay. She was a traitor, a turncoat. Whenever things got rough, she just couldn't handle it, and instead of fighting through it with everyone else, she had done what she knew best and run. The girl was not proud of her actions, no rather the contrary. In fact, she doubted that if Snowbound survived, that she would even be allowed back after her blatant display of cowardice. Still, she wished to see if there was anything left in the rubble of a place that had once shone with so much energy. A place that she had grown to love, even if her actions did not do the best job of portraying that. The clouded leopard ventured over to the old cave, finding the fleeting scent of the clan rather dispiriting. But then she picked up a fresh trail among the stale scents. It led off away from the cave, but she supposed it was only logical to relocate after everything that had happened. She wondered who she would find if she followed the trail, who would still be there. Briefly, her thoughts drifted to Killua, and she felt sick with guilt. She was his first ever friend and she had ditched him. She really was horrible. Would he ever be able to forgive her? Would she ever be able to forgive herself? And Mel and Jacob and Izuku, they all had meant so much more to her than she could put into words, and she'd hurt them all.

Perhaps it would be best if she just left. They would likely be happier without her there to ruin everything. The thought seemed to cause her pain, but London felt that she deserved that for what she'd done. Should she at least go and apologize, or would it be best to just leave now and do her best to erase Snowbound from her memories? The girl wasn't sure which option she should choose, but her heart yearned to see her friends again. It was a selfish desire, but eventually, the girl gave in, following the trail to where Snowbound now chose to reside. It wasn't too far from their old territory, so the journey was short, but as she stood at the new border she felt so lost. Like she had been when she had first wandered into this snowy wonderland all those months ago. She wasn't sure if she had the strength to face anyone here, new or old. Surely they would judge her for leaving, they would eventually realize how horrible of a person she really was, and the girl's legs seemed to weaken at the thought. She didn't know what the faces would look like that would come to greet her. Relieved and happy, or cautious and betrayed? And the girl wasn't sure which was better. She'd really screwed up this time.