06-28-2018, 08:47 PM
WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO LOVE — Jacob, unfortunately, had plenty experience with nightmares. He'd had the odd ones here and there as a kid, just as nearly everyone did, but after the kidnapping it'd gotten worse. He was having them nearly every night and he would wake up sobbing that he wanted to go home. When he moved, they got better. Before the fire, his biggest worries hadn't even been about his own mind. He had nightmares sometimes that his Pa had passed away already but that was expected in such a situation. The fear of being kidnapped faded as his focus was drawn to illness and studying all he could about it. Then the fire came and it changed everything again. He didn't think he'd gotten a proper night's sleep since that day. Sometimes when he was awake he saw things too. A flicker of fire out of the corner of his eye, tendrils of smoke waving in the air on a clear morning, flaming figures begging for his help as he tried to sleep. It had gotten so bad at one point that he would hear and smell things. He could still smell smoke almost constantly. It'd gotten worse when Pincher left but now he was home again and that brought him some peace.
Jacob was just out on a walk. That's what he told himself and that's what he'd tell anyone who cared to ask. The truth was, though, even with Pincher home, things still weren't completely well. Archie had still left him that note and he was still here, lurking in the shadows, either literally or only in Jacob's mind, it didn't matter. He was here somewhere. Jacob was sure of it. How could he sleep when he worried that everything he'd worked to build here, everything apart from the city, was moments away from being ripped from him? His biggest concern was that one day he'd walk into his cabin and Harrison would be gone again or, worse, his blood would be spilled on their floors. He couldn't imagine that. He couldn't let that happen again after all he'd done to build what he had here. He'd worked so hard to get a reputation apart from his family names and businesses. He'd become a doctor, a proper one. He had a family and a lover and a son to protect. He had friends and people that were looking to him for help and guidance. Some days he wasn't sure he knew exactly how to provide that but it didn't mean he'd give up. He wanted Snowbound to be safe and if that meant sacrificing a little sleep than so be it.
Thankfully, though, his thoughts couldn't stay on those forever. He couldn't let the paranoia eat him from the inside out and he got the perfect distraction when he heard Atbash and Natasha's voice. The man made his way over with clear concern etched in his expression as he settled down. Walking around all night might ease his mind but it took a toll on his already damaged legs. "Atbash, do ya' need somethin' ta' get back ta' sleep? I've got some herbs tha' can probably 'elp with the nightmares n' calm ya' down a little. Or ya' can jus' wait it out n' see how ya' feel in a minute. After all ya've been through, though, 's best ta' try n' get some sleep." He knew it wasn't easy and he knew he should take his own advice. Jacob hadn't properly slept for weeks now but that didn't stop him from pacing around at night.
He could guess what Atbash's nightmares were about given her current circumstances but he wasn't sure how to actually put her mind at ease regarding the problem. In the case of Caesar, Jacob had done all he could. He'd made sure his punishment was fulfilled and had Pincher's word it wouldn't happen again and, if it did, there would be more severe consequences. There was little more he could do at this point, though he wished he could make all Atbash's concern disappear. He couldn't imagine that having a brother like Caesar was easy. He thought that Jerseyboy was complicated and frustrating but at least Jacob knew that, no matter what happened, Jersey would never hurt him like that. They might fight from time to time but Jacob was convinced the injuries Atbash had were more than just a fight; they were from an attempted murder. Or at the very least an attempt at very severe injuries, which he supposed in that case it'd been successful. —A GREAT HONOR TO HOLD YOU UP
"SPEECH"
Jacob was just out on a walk. That's what he told himself and that's what he'd tell anyone who cared to ask. The truth was, though, even with Pincher home, things still weren't completely well. Archie had still left him that note and he was still here, lurking in the shadows, either literally or only in Jacob's mind, it didn't matter. He was here somewhere. Jacob was sure of it. How could he sleep when he worried that everything he'd worked to build here, everything apart from the city, was moments away from being ripped from him? His biggest concern was that one day he'd walk into his cabin and Harrison would be gone again or, worse, his blood would be spilled on their floors. He couldn't imagine that. He couldn't let that happen again after all he'd done to build what he had here. He'd worked so hard to get a reputation apart from his family names and businesses. He'd become a doctor, a proper one. He had a family and a lover and a son to protect. He had friends and people that were looking to him for help and guidance. Some days he wasn't sure he knew exactly how to provide that but it didn't mean he'd give up. He wanted Snowbound to be safe and if that meant sacrificing a little sleep than so be it.
Thankfully, though, his thoughts couldn't stay on those forever. He couldn't let the paranoia eat him from the inside out and he got the perfect distraction when he heard Atbash and Natasha's voice. The man made his way over with clear concern etched in his expression as he settled down. Walking around all night might ease his mind but it took a toll on his already damaged legs. "Atbash, do ya' need somethin' ta' get back ta' sleep? I've got some herbs tha' can probably 'elp with the nightmares n' calm ya' down a little. Or ya' can jus' wait it out n' see how ya' feel in a minute. After all ya've been through, though, 's best ta' try n' get some sleep." He knew it wasn't easy and he knew he should take his own advice. Jacob hadn't properly slept for weeks now but that didn't stop him from pacing around at night.
He could guess what Atbash's nightmares were about given her current circumstances but he wasn't sure how to actually put her mind at ease regarding the problem. In the case of Caesar, Jacob had done all he could. He'd made sure his punishment was fulfilled and had Pincher's word it wouldn't happen again and, if it did, there would be more severe consequences. There was little more he could do at this point, though he wished he could make all Atbash's concern disappear. He couldn't imagine that having a brother like Caesar was easy. He thought that Jerseyboy was complicated and frustrating but at least Jacob knew that, no matter what happened, Jersey would never hurt him like that. They might fight from time to time but Jacob was convinced the injuries Atbash had were more than just a fight; they were from an attempted murder. Or at the very least an attempt at very severe injuries, which he supposed in that case it'd been successful. —A GREAT HONOR TO HOLD YOU UP
"SPEECH"
[glow=black,2,300]a beauty calm and clear[/glow]
☆ snowbound & 14 moons & dealer &@ vellichor