I’VE LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU THAT HURTS ; p

[Margaery]

[color=#b14767] ❁  ❁  ❁

Margaery knew that she was a hypocrite, a bad person. She clung to Suiteheart and the bond possessively and snipped and severed their connection whenever it was convenient for her. She never once asked Suite. She never once apologized. But the moment Suite even thought to do the same, she grew defensive and angry and bitter. She hated that about herself. Hated that she could not so easily grant her wife her same freedoms. Maybe it was because, without Suiteheart, Margaery could not generate a spark or any emotion save apathy. After three years of being bonded, her soul was too closely intertwined with Suiteheart’s and some complications ensued the moment that they were disconnected. Even for a moment. She wished it didn’t have to be that way, that she and her wife could just turn the bond on and off at their own discretion and not rob one another of comfort, security, companionship, feeling.  But things weren’t easy like that. In over a millennia, things had never been easy for them.

She could feel her wife’s sadness, her anger. She wanted to make it go away, shooing the nightmares back into the dark recesses of Suite’s mind and promising that they would never return to haunt her. But she couldn’t do that. She had to either continue to play dumb and pretend as if she didn’t see the forest -big and looming and full of danger... no, she was the danger - or tell the truth. But both outcomes... Suite would reject her. They’d fall apart just as they had fallen together and Margaery would watch as her last source of happiness fell between her fingers. Again. She didn’t want that. Couldn’t deal with that. But Suite was falling apart and while the truth would surely be a death sentence for Margaery, she couldn’t stand to watch the only girl she had loved over the course of her long life be destroyed into unrepairable pieces.

Her words cut through the air like a knife, causing something to twist inside Margaery, her own monsters stirring at their harsh sound. She felt dizzy suddenly, the ground rushing up to meet her as she slid onto her stomach, unable to stand any longer. Gray eyes would blink, once, twice, three times, and they were gray no longer, but she was not the monster. Far from it actually. Far from it. An ancient sadness seemed to radiate from her now and, feeling significantly better, she stood and neared Suite only to pull her into an embrace.

Her wife was a shell of the being she once was and it was not Margaery’s fault, but Maarit’s. She could see the visions, see Suite desperately attempting to make the connection between herself and that ragdoll. She wanted to yell, to tell her lover that she was Maarit, that they had a history splattered with love and blood, brief happiness and terrible loss. But she couldn’t. Not until she started yelling and that calm presence - Maarit - was drowned out by the monster.

See, the innocent girl that Margaery was at her core could not remain out to play for very long. Unlike her modern day counterpart, she didn’t realize how much control one needed to exert over the monster to keep it chained and shackled in the back of her mind. All three of them were the same, yes, but Margaery had repressed those two sides of herself so entirely that they had formed different entities in and of themselves.  Maarit made few appearances, her tenderness not often appreciated by Margaery. The monster saw that shift as its chance to take control and so here it was.

Ready to right all the terrible wrongs of Margaery and Maarit combined.

She watched as Suite covered her ears with both paws. She refused to break the embrace though, refused to release her even as the terrible monster she was. [color=#b14767]”Love,” She began, that single word drenched in ancient power, [color=#b14767]”I can’t tell you... but I can show you.”

And with that, she sent everything down the bond. Every memory. Every death. Every conversation that they had shared and every time they had been ripped apart. Maarit and Erlend. The originals. But there were more too, more versions of themselves than they could count. Margaery could never had done this, neither could painfully sweet Maarit. It had to be the beast and all her lack of care, it had to be the being that so closely resembled Suite’s murderer.

She saw the forest. Fields of flowers. Streets. Village squares. Castles. She saw everything. She could feel that too-long history engulfing her, threatening to swallow her whole. She couldn’t imagine what Suite might be seeing. What she might be experiencing. It had to be tenfold this. Everything that she knew... it had been a lie.

Surely, she’d hate Margaery for that.

And once the deed was done, the monster permitted the Lunar Lieutenant to assume control, those blood-colored eyes fading back to stormy blues. She was crying, shuddering like a leaf in the wind as she held her wife.

[color=#b14767]”I’m sorry, Erlend...” She whispered, wondering how many times the name had nearly slipped off her tongue. It felt right to use now... Suite knew the truth. She knew who she was. What she was made to do. [color=#b14767]”It’s my family’s fault that you were damned... You should have been able to live and die in that village but we couldn’t let you go. We turned you into a monster too, and my grandfather helped you become something who’s only goal was to kill us. My father once loved you, sweet Erlend, he once loved the idea of us together. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’ve had to live a millennia of pain and suffering because of me.”

“Because of Maarit.”