06-19-2018, 11:49 PM
[align=center][div style=" background-color: transparent; border: 0px solid black; width: 530px; min-height: 9px; font-family:; line-height: 110%; text-align: justify; padding: 20px"]It had taken a single moment to break Suiteheart wholly and completely, and it took only three days to ensure she might never recover from her wife's death. The instant Margaery's soul left her side, something within Suite had perished with the chocolate point. She was sure what had died was her own will to live, but considering she was still alive three days later, she wasn't sure that was it.
The things that had died with Margaery was the feeling of being unbreakable at her core. So often in her life, Suiteheart had been beaten and broken down, but nothing had compared to the absolute hell of feeling the soul of your love leave. It had been a slow ebb towards a cliff's edge: slipping, slipping, slipping, and then falling away completely. The white feline had felt a pull on her own soul to follow her wife's, but she could not follow. Her soul remained rooted and then it buried itself in grief and pain and loss. She had tunneled so far in herself that she was unreachable, and despite all of Cooper and Roy's efforts, Suite was a lost cause.
She remained in the room she shared with Margaery during daylight hours. She kept a close watch over their newborns, and she tried her best to keep them happy. Though she was doing a good job raising vampires while not being one herself, she could not find joy in her accomplishments. She was only thankful her children were still living and breathing.
At night, she left the safety of her room. Those four walls and everything housed within was a constant reminder of Margaery, and it was too much to bear for twenty four hours. Smiling pictures of Margaery, her books, her little pressed flowers, her gemstones, her tiny knickknacks, her dagger - they were too much. The weight of Margaery's pendant around her throat and against her chest seemed to multiply within that room too, and she had to leave there because she could not part with the jewelry. Underneath moonlight, she hid from her wife's ghosts and the night terrors.
Baby blue eyes had stared up at the moon and begged for answers time and time again, but there was nothing. Cooper offered his comfort and support, and though she was eternally grateful, it did nothing to ease her pain. The moon no longer presented her peace; nothing offered her peace anymore.
When she arose on this day, the walls seemed to be closing in. It had taken two minutes of sitting in saddened silence before she decided she could not be in this room at all today. She pushed her way through the door, through the Observatory, and she did not stop moving until she was deep within the territory. For a brief second, everything was quiet. Then, she heard the voices of her friends, and -
"Margaery."
The name flew off her lips like a bullet from a gun, and on trembling legs, she made her way forward. She crashed into the scene, shaking. The feline before her looked, spoke, and acted just like her wife. She wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe it so badly, but it felt too good to be true.
Within the first hour of Margaery's death, Suiteheart had cut the bond off. After an hour of feeling a vast emptiness inside of herself that was not her own, she could no longer handle it. It had killed her to let go of the one thing that might notify her of her wife's return, but the dying pulse of Margaery would not stop playing in her ears. Stopping the bond had stopped the sound though it did not make her feel much better.
Taking a shuddering breath, she reignited the bond, and everything flooded into her systems. Flash images of years ago and days before tumbled into her mind. She felt her wife's soul once more, and that horrible hollowness became whole. Tears formed in Suiteheart's eyes, and she did nothing to stop them because she could hear Margaery's heartbeat again. A sense of belonging was restored to the Ecliptic Admiral's heart, and after feeling absolutely crushed for three days, she suddenly no longer felt condemned.
"You're alive," she breathed, unable to move from her spot. She was so struggling underneath the weight of her emotions as well as Margaery's, and after the hell she had been living, was worried she might collapse. The tears did not cease to flow as she finally found herself able to take a step forward. One step lead to two and then three, and then, she was running into the arms of the girl that she loved. "You're alive," she repeated in a voice so shaky the words were barely recognizable.
The things that had died with Margaery was the feeling of being unbreakable at her core. So often in her life, Suiteheart had been beaten and broken down, but nothing had compared to the absolute hell of feeling the soul of your love leave. It had been a slow ebb towards a cliff's edge: slipping, slipping, slipping, and then falling away completely. The white feline had felt a pull on her own soul to follow her wife's, but she could not follow. Her soul remained rooted and then it buried itself in grief and pain and loss. She had tunneled so far in herself that she was unreachable, and despite all of Cooper and Roy's efforts, Suite was a lost cause.
She remained in the room she shared with Margaery during daylight hours. She kept a close watch over their newborns, and she tried her best to keep them happy. Though she was doing a good job raising vampires while not being one herself, she could not find joy in her accomplishments. She was only thankful her children were still living and breathing.
At night, she left the safety of her room. Those four walls and everything housed within was a constant reminder of Margaery, and it was too much to bear for twenty four hours. Smiling pictures of Margaery, her books, her little pressed flowers, her gemstones, her tiny knickknacks, her dagger - they were too much. The weight of Margaery's pendant around her throat and against her chest seemed to multiply within that room too, and she had to leave there because she could not part with the jewelry. Underneath moonlight, she hid from her wife's ghosts and the night terrors.
Baby blue eyes had stared up at the moon and begged for answers time and time again, but there was nothing. Cooper offered his comfort and support, and though she was eternally grateful, it did nothing to ease her pain. The moon no longer presented her peace; nothing offered her peace anymore.
When she arose on this day, the walls seemed to be closing in. It had taken two minutes of sitting in saddened silence before she decided she could not be in this room at all today. She pushed her way through the door, through the Observatory, and she did not stop moving until she was deep within the territory. For a brief second, everything was quiet. Then, she heard the voices of her friends, and -
"Margaery."
The name flew off her lips like a bullet from a gun, and on trembling legs, she made her way forward. She crashed into the scene, shaking. The feline before her looked, spoke, and acted just like her wife. She wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe it so badly, but it felt too good to be true.
Within the first hour of Margaery's death, Suiteheart had cut the bond off. After an hour of feeling a vast emptiness inside of herself that was not her own, she could no longer handle it. It had killed her to let go of the one thing that might notify her of her wife's return, but the dying pulse of Margaery would not stop playing in her ears. Stopping the bond had stopped the sound though it did not make her feel much better.
Taking a shuddering breath, she reignited the bond, and everything flooded into her systems. Flash images of years ago and days before tumbled into her mind. She felt her wife's soul once more, and that horrible hollowness became whole. Tears formed in Suiteheart's eyes, and she did nothing to stop them because she could hear Margaery's heartbeat again. A sense of belonging was restored to the Ecliptic Admiral's heart, and after feeling absolutely crushed for three days, she suddenly no longer felt condemned.
"You're alive," she breathed, unable to move from her spot. She was so struggling underneath the weight of her emotions as well as Margaery's, and after the hell she had been living, was worried she might collapse. The tears did not cease to flow as she finally found herself able to take a step forward. One step lead to two and then three, and then, she was running into the arms of the girl that she loved. "You're alive," she repeated in a voice so shaky the words were barely recognizable.
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[glow=black,10,100]GOT MY DEGREE IN THE GUTTER,[/glow]
[glow=black,1,100]MY HEART BROKEN IN THE DORMS OF THE IVY LEAGUE