When the road // open // looks rough ahead

[jacob w.c.]

WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO LOVE — Jacob couldn't sleep. It wasn't anything new but for once it wasn't because of a specific nightmare or thought. Tonight he couldn't smell Pincher. It was silly but he'd grown used to staying with three other people during his time in Typhoon and he wasn't having an easy time adjusting, especially since he'd moved into a rather large cabin and he and Harrison didn't even share a room anymore. He'd rolled around all night before pushing himself to his paws and making his way to the small chest that Pincher had given him some time ago. He glanced back at Rosie, who was still curled up on the bed he'd made for the two of them. He opened it up and got one sweater out. He hadn't washed it yet from his time in Typhoon, seeing as they'd only just gotten to the new territory, and it still smelled of cigarette smoke and the sea. He slipped off the one he was wearing and put on the new (old?) one, making his way out into the night. His breathing was shaky and he took in gulps of the fresh air that mingled with the smoke, which overpowered the sort that floated in his mind at all times.

After a few moments, he went back in the house and pulled out some of the cookies he'd made from the day before. He wasn't even sure how many he'd made but he needed some kind of snack. He then ventured back outside, opening the bag and pulling out a peanut butter cookie. Brief guilt flashed in his mind. He shouldn't be eating so late and he shouldn't be eating so much sugar. He stuck it in his mouth and looked up at the sky with a soft sigh. Cigarette smoke wasn't good either. Second hand smoking was bad. He took a deep breath of the fabric again. He could still remember that first night when Pincher hadn't been afraid and hadn't turned him away. He'd seen his scars, he'd seen him while he shook and sobbed and rambled senselessly and the doberman had still helped. Then, more recently, he knew that Jacob had been more than a little overwhelmed and kept having nightmares and he kept him apart from the other Snowbounders so he wouldn't have to face them in the mornings. He was his best friend. Jacob would tell him anything. He still would, even with the threat from Archie. He knew Deniz wasn't tricking him. He couldn't be. Not after all of this. The more his mind lingered on it, though, the more he doubted it. This was too much thinking for right now. He should be trying to focus on sleeping. But how could he sleep when he knew someone was trying to kill him or Harrison or steal his pasta? That last one might be a little ridiculous but he was barely lucid, he was entitled to his horrible pasta nightmares. —A GREAT HONOR TO HOLD YOU UP

"SPEECH"

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