YOU CAN LIE BUT I KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT FINE | PRIVATE

[Margaery]

[color=#b14767] ❁  ❁  ❁

Like Bast, Margaery had also contemplated what would have happened if she had made different choices. Done different things. Sometimes, she longed to be back at home, surrounded by her real family, suffocated and sheltered but not at fault. Never at fault. Her father was prone to bouts of anger, his temper uncontrollable and unpredictable, but he always calmed when he saw her. She was the family's flower- a symbol of hope, a symbol that no matter what, they'd have each other. Always and forever. She wouldn't have been happy, but at least she wouldn't have been here, pregnant and suffering at the hands of someone she cared too deeply for. She would have her mother and she would have her father and she would have the insatiable darkness that continued to beckon her, even now, even as she continued to collapse in on herself. What more could she need?

See, the truth was, Bastilleprisoner was merely confirming all of her fears and insecurities in one fell swoop. Lilyspoise had done this to her once, harping on the fact that she was a failure and someone that was not her mother, breaking the chocolate point in doing so. She had picked up the shattered remains of herself and put them back together but it seemed as if history had the nasty habit of repeating itself. Margaery, admittedly, didn't know why she was surprised or even why she was still here, trembling before him, letting the reality of her awfulness sink in. She should have left before he even had a chance to destroy her. She should never have left her father's side.

Nik had called her a fool so many times, blaming her ability to love easily and helplessly on why she was constantly getting hurt. She was just like her mother, he told her, and that was why he had to protect her and oppose anyone who even thought to lay a finger on her. That sort of innocence was foolish indeed, but something he was strangely ready to defend. Perhaps it was because he saw himself buried deep within his daughter, in the parts of her with too sly a tongue but wide eyes and a love for the world and the gifts it had to give. Perhaps he wished to protect that little ounce of humanity that his last and only daughter exhibited so wildly. So passionately.

But that didn't matter. Her father didn't matter. Not right now, not when she once more experienced the world crumbling at her feet, the earth itself threatening to engulf her. Honestly, she'd prefer that fate over this. She thought that she knew what hell was, being cursed to eternal damnation and all. Turns out, she didn't. Not until this moment. Not until Bast absolutely ripped her to shreds.

[color=#b14767]"I do care," She cut in quietly, though her anger had long since dissipated. She couldn't find it in herself to even dredge up a bit of the emotion. Bast was tired of her so called facade and she was tired of feeling an unfamiliar rage. [color=#b14767]"I'm trying my best! Okay! Do you not think that I haven't lost everything I-I love at one point?" She could feel her tears coming, hot and fresh and ready to spill over her cheeks at any second, [color=#b14767]"Do you seriously believe that I'm doing this because I'm s-selfish?" They were here now and it took everything in Margaery's power for her to choke back a sob. [color=#b14767]"My own mother chose my psychopath of a father over me. I grew up without a solid mom figure in my life and that... that fucked me up okay... And I'm trying, Bast... I'm trying so hard... Not to be selfish... Not to ruin everything. I don't want to ruin everything, I don't want to hurt you..."

She was crying quietly, ashamed to have succumbed to her sadness so easily in font of him but doing nothing in particular to ease the flow of tears. [color=#b14767]"I'm not t-trying to steal Hazel away from you. I never d-did anything to you with the intention of inflicting... of inflicting pain. I've tried to be nothing b-but there for you and that wasn't good enough. It's never good enough, is it?" She inquired, though mostly to herself. What had she done wrong? Where had she gone wrong? Was he berating her, breaking her, over the fact that she could speak Latin? Over the fact that she genuinely did care about Hazel and wished to see her happy and at ease?

But perhaps he was right.

Perhaps she was the shitty mother from her nightmares.

Perhaps she was cursed to inflict damage upon every child she thought to mother.

And then he was speaking of Lilyspoise and the world seemingly faded around her in response. He was the one that took her memories. He knew everything. And he was fucking using it against her. To break her. To take away that last little bit of happiness that she had been so desperately clinging to, so afraid to let go of. [color=#b14767]"N-no..." She gasped, a paw raising to reflexively cover her parted mouth, [color=#b14767]"No." But it wasn't like he was speaking anything but the truth. She had broken Lil, just as Bastilleprisoner was breaking her. It was ironic almost- how she was destined to fail either herself or her children every single time she put an effort in. [color=#b14767]"Not my daughter... Why... Why would you do that to my little girl?"

Her tears stopped suddenly but that sadness remained upon her face, contorting her features in such a way that it looked like the very life had been strangled out of her by her own melancholy. [color=#b14767]"I'm a monster," She began, her voice deathly soft, wavering, shattered, a true extension of how she felt on the inside, [color=#b14767]"Not a mother."

She hesitated, a shaky breath inhaled.

A shaky breath exhaled.

[color=#b14767]"Thank you for finally proving that to me."