05-31-2018, 08:28 PM
AND I'M JUST A DEAD MAN WALKING TONIGHT
Bastille stared straight ahead, his expression blank and eyes dark as he waited for the others to arrive. The only way he could think to survive this was to simply shut down, retreat behind the wall of apathy he had grown up knowing, to lose himself to the white noise. His emotions were raging and vicious as he waited there alone, Starry's pendant cold under his paw smoking paw, but as others started to emerge and his throat felt tight -- he couldn't do it. He couldn't look at Margy without feeling Pollutedsoul surge, couldn't see Hazel's aura out of the corner of his eye without her words searing through his thoughts, couldn't feel them all staring at him with expectation and pity without feeling the ground tremor ominously. He couldn't, he didn't have it in him, and instead he just... let go of himself.
He set his shoulders back as he straightened, apathetic stare chilled and devoid of sensation as he let it flicker briefly over his Clanmates and their guests. He reached desperately for Echo, for Grimm, for that removed state of existence and he found that it deceptively easy to step back into it as he spoke evenly, "Today we honor Starrynight, our founder and our leader." No waver in his voice as he said it, and the searing heat from his body seemed to have dimmed, his elementals retreating as he locked himself in, though he did pause briefly before continuing.
"I don't think any of us have ever met someone with more joy or genuine peacefulness than Starry... He was a literal ball of fucking energy, and he put this rag tag family together from scratch. We would be nothing without him." Bast pressed down on the pendant slightly, letting the sharp edge dig into the pad of his paw as he reminded himself to stay steady, to keep his emotions off line, to feel nothing, be nothing. "He left me a lot of ideas to sort through, because that was what he did -- plan and come up with crazy ideas and ways to make the Clan happy. He put his heart into everything."
Bastille lifted his paw, and this time lifted the pendant with it, his stare dropping to it briefly. There was a flicker in his cold, blank eyes as he felt a nasty surge of resistance -- he didn't want to give the pendant up, felt barren without it already -- but he forced it down. Feel nothing. He cleared his throat, and dismissed the hesitation as he said lowly, "Starry wanted to start a tradition for honoring our dead, in which we hang their pendants from the Starpool's tree. Today we lay Starry to rest and give life to one of the many ideas he had prepared for us." He felt something in him, something that was still holding on to that feeling of helplessness, wither as he let the pendant go. It flickered and disappeared from his paw, and moments later appeared hanging from the upper branches of the Oak tree.
"May the Stars accept him with grace," he said, softer.
[align=center]BASTILLEPRISONER — ASTRAL SERAPH — TAGSHe set his shoulders back as he straightened, apathetic stare chilled and devoid of sensation as he let it flicker briefly over his Clanmates and their guests. He reached desperately for Echo, for Grimm, for that removed state of existence and he found that it deceptively easy to step back into it as he spoke evenly, "Today we honor Starrynight, our founder and our leader." No waver in his voice as he said it, and the searing heat from his body seemed to have dimmed, his elementals retreating as he locked himself in, though he did pause briefly before continuing.
"I don't think any of us have ever met someone with more joy or genuine peacefulness than Starry... He was a literal ball of fucking energy, and he put this rag tag family together from scratch. We would be nothing without him." Bast pressed down on the pendant slightly, letting the sharp edge dig into the pad of his paw as he reminded himself to stay steady, to keep his emotions off line, to feel nothing, be nothing. "He left me a lot of ideas to sort through, because that was what he did -- plan and come up with crazy ideas and ways to make the Clan happy. He put his heart into everything."
Bastille lifted his paw, and this time lifted the pendant with it, his stare dropping to it briefly. There was a flicker in his cold, blank eyes as he felt a nasty surge of resistance -- he didn't want to give the pendant up, felt barren without it already -- but he forced it down. Feel nothing. He cleared his throat, and dismissed the hesitation as he said lowly, "Starry wanted to start a tradition for honoring our dead, in which we hang their pendants from the Starpool's tree. Today we lay Starry to rest and give life to one of the many ideas he had prepared for us." He felt something in him, something that was still holding on to that feeling of helplessness, wither as he let the pendant go. It flickered and disappeared from his paw, and moments later appeared hanging from the upper branches of the Oak tree.
"May the Stars accept him with grace," he said, softer.
Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror years ago, Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword, Innocence died screaming; honey, ask me, I should know, I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door. [b][sup]▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃[/sup][/b]