05-13-2018, 06:04 PM
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she didn’t like to run for the traditional reasons. there was no euphoria, no escapism. she didn’t like the way her lungs and legs would burn, the way her heart seemed to seize from the effort of forcing blood too quickly. she didn’t like the way everything passed by in blurs or the sounds of her feet smashing against the pavement for just a fraction of a second. she couldn’t care in the slightest about the health benefits or staying thin or any other bullshit reason you could think of. no, she liked to run because she could.
she was four, when they took it away, her right to run. she was four when they stuffed her in a cage with her brother, tight enough of a squeeze that she could hardly sit up. as decades passed, as the both of them grew longer, she couldn’t even properly sit up. they were let out by day, encircled by big men with big guns, and more than walking could get you shot. she went twenty years without being allowed to run, and now that she could, she did it for exactly that reason: because she could. she could wake up whenever the hell she wanted, slip out her front door, and run until her lungs were imploding and her feet were bleeding and her vision was growing black if she wanted. it was little things, little freedoms, that she’d taken for granted as a child.
most days, she ran by herself. she’d plug some headphones in, listen to one of the few songs she actually liked, and she’d run until she had something better to do. streak the streets of the city, up and down, no partiular route in mind, never stopping. she’d bought a car a few months back, but it stayed parked for the most part, because really, why drive anywhere when she could run there? she liked the cool morning air and the still dark sky and the way the earth felt so empty.
this morning, however, she had a partner. she wasn’t entirely sure why she’d coaxed elias into coming, in all honesty. he’d probably slow her down, he didn’t look like he desperately needed to work out, and he probably had better things to do with his time. but, she reasoned as she got dressed that morning, it probably had something to do with what dr. kozlowski said. she’d tried out therapy for half an appoitment (surprise surprise, she hated talking about her feelings as much as she’d thought), and the only real thing that had resonated with her was that she needed to start “letting people in”. it sounded awful, but she was trying it, wasn’t see? elias was nice, he was probably one of the few people she sort of liked, and she figured he’d be nice enough to let in, if he wanted to come into… well, wherever she was letting people into. online support groups didn’t really do her much help, so maybe a running buddy could.
the black tights felt almost nonexistant, and she sort of liked that. they weren’t too tight or too itchy and they didn’t distract her. it was getting warmer, and today seemed as good a day as any to shed her winter sweatshirt and sport just a sports bra. she wasn’t overly well endowed, so eyes weren’t really a concern, but it did expose her back. the skin was the worst there, the scarring so heavy that you could see more scar than skin. bullet scars dotted her arms, her back, her shoulders, every one of them another reminder of some horrible memory. all of the bullets were out, thank god, though she shivered at the memories of matteo’s massive mitts holding her shoulders, pressing her hard against the cages as khalid removed them from the next cell over, her own body tight as she fought to curl up and just cry. god, she sort of missed the days where pain did something to her.
she glanced at the clock on the wall that read 4:58, and immediately headed for her door, slipping right out. the sun hadn’t risen just yet, but she always preferred to beat the sun. she’d told elias to meet her outside at five, and she hoped he wasn’t oversleeping. hurrying down the stairs and through the lobby, she made it outside within a minute and, figuring she might have a few seconds to spare, began stretching. was she excited? sort of, in truth. who knows, maybe he’d get the hang of it and she’d have a proper running buddy.
( this is a mess but i tRIED okay i assumed from the guide they meant like an apartment apartment? but like if they live in houses then idk assume she’s outside of his house ig. [member=643]ELIAS.[/member] )
she didn’t like to run for the traditional reasons. there was no euphoria, no escapism. she didn’t like the way her lungs and legs would burn, the way her heart seemed to seize from the effort of forcing blood too quickly. she didn’t like the way everything passed by in blurs or the sounds of her feet smashing against the pavement for just a fraction of a second. she couldn’t care in the slightest about the health benefits or staying thin or any other bullshit reason you could think of. no, she liked to run because she could.
she was four, when they took it away, her right to run. she was four when they stuffed her in a cage with her brother, tight enough of a squeeze that she could hardly sit up. as decades passed, as the both of them grew longer, she couldn’t even properly sit up. they were let out by day, encircled by big men with big guns, and more than walking could get you shot. she went twenty years without being allowed to run, and now that she could, she did it for exactly that reason: because she could. she could wake up whenever the hell she wanted, slip out her front door, and run until her lungs were imploding and her feet were bleeding and her vision was growing black if she wanted. it was little things, little freedoms, that she’d taken for granted as a child.
most days, she ran by herself. she’d plug some headphones in, listen to one of the few songs she actually liked, and she’d run until she had something better to do. streak the streets of the city, up and down, no partiular route in mind, never stopping. she’d bought a car a few months back, but it stayed parked for the most part, because really, why drive anywhere when she could run there? she liked the cool morning air and the still dark sky and the way the earth felt so empty.
this morning, however, she had a partner. she wasn’t entirely sure why she’d coaxed elias into coming, in all honesty. he’d probably slow her down, he didn’t look like he desperately needed to work out, and he probably had better things to do with his time. but, she reasoned as she got dressed that morning, it probably had something to do with what dr. kozlowski said. she’d tried out therapy for half an appoitment (surprise surprise, she hated talking about her feelings as much as she’d thought), and the only real thing that had resonated with her was that she needed to start “letting people in”. it sounded awful, but she was trying it, wasn’t see? elias was nice, he was probably one of the few people she sort of liked, and she figured he’d be nice enough to let in, if he wanted to come into… well, wherever she was letting people into. online support groups didn’t really do her much help, so maybe a running buddy could.
the black tights felt almost nonexistant, and she sort of liked that. they weren’t too tight or too itchy and they didn’t distract her. it was getting warmer, and today seemed as good a day as any to shed her winter sweatshirt and sport just a sports bra. she wasn’t overly well endowed, so eyes weren’t really a concern, but it did expose her back. the skin was the worst there, the scarring so heavy that you could see more scar than skin. bullet scars dotted her arms, her back, her shoulders, every one of them another reminder of some horrible memory. all of the bullets were out, thank god, though she shivered at the memories of matteo’s massive mitts holding her shoulders, pressing her hard against the cages as khalid removed them from the next cell over, her own body tight as she fought to curl up and just cry. god, she sort of missed the days where pain did something to her.
she glanced at the clock on the wall that read 4:58, and immediately headed for her door, slipping right out. the sun hadn’t risen just yet, but she always preferred to beat the sun. she’d told elias to meet her outside at five, and she hoped he wasn’t oversleeping. hurrying down the stairs and through the lobby, she made it outside within a minute and, figuring she might have a few seconds to spare, began stretching. was she excited? sort of, in truth. who knows, maybe he’d get the hang of it and she’d have a proper running buddy.
( this is a mess but i tRIED okay i assumed from the guide they meant like an apartment apartment? but like if they live in houses then idk assume she’s outside of his house ig. [member=643]ELIAS.[/member] )