PINEAPPLES ARE IN MY HEAD

[bubblegum]

DEAR FRIEND as you know,  your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
    but the clouds are clearing up
        and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
                                              like a bastard on the burning sea.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER,
BURIED DEEP UNDER THE WATER.

What exactly she planned on doing today was unknown, there were quite a few things left unfinished since before Sophiea had left. Her paws had kept her away from her old hut, from the Anchored Tempest, from anything that may incite a reaction of her mind in some negative fashion. She had considered approaching one now, seeing if she could handle it. She felt as if she should be able to, however the thought of her old hut made her nervous, given what'd gone down when she'd last gone in, and the old captain quarters...well, she simply didn't feel worthy of stepping foot in there yet. The last time it'd been touched, she had been a confident captain. She had figured everything out. She felt no fear, had no doubt, and was going to take back the land that her former slaver stole. She had destroyed the chains, beheaded him. She had taken down her sworn enemy, one of the individuals who'd ruined her, one she'd been actively hunting ever since his disappearance. But she never got to celebrate. Never got to feel the victory. Because she lost too much, too. There was nothing, in the end, to celebrate. And to find her belongings, the spilled blood, whatever wasn't able to be cleaned likely dried and dusted by now, to see where her papa had once been, it simply wasn't for her. Not yet. She hadn't earned it.

But what could she do to earn it in her mind? That much was uncertain, for certain. To be productive, surely, that was the best course of action. That was what Goldenluxury would have done. She can't argue that she doesn't recall this fact, because she does, even if it is fragmented, dizzying, when she tries to think about it. There was something blocking her still, in her mind, and she couldn't quite yet push past it. The feelings of Sophiea being gone, it still caused her paws to shake, caused her nights to go sleepless, caused her mind to wonder what she could have done different, where she went wrong, how to stop feeling so afraid, so lonely, so inadequate compared to who she was before. There was no real answer to it. Not yet, at least. It was too hard to focus and it was too hard to get better. Even still she tried, and she was growing exhausted.

The caracal's paws eventually would carry her, thoughtlessly, to something she could do. She'd already gathered herbs, already read what she could, already brought herself to converse with crewmates. And now she goes to an old comfort, something she wasn't even completely aware of, until she was inside of it. The Deep Sea Dome. Its walls enchanted her, every time she stepped inside, and it has been a while since she's done it. The sea life surrounding them, unbothered by the thick glass took her attention, would allow her to feel a sense of distraction from everything, even if just for a moment. And the daughter of the sea, the fallen captain, fallen God, would take a seat quietly by herself, watching the fishes in silence. And she would be content with that. At least, for as long as she could be.

[member=17932]danny ![/member]