05-26-2021, 12:12 PM
DEAR FRIEND as you know, your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
but the clouds are clearing up
and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
like a bastard on the burning sea.
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
but the clouds are clearing up
and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
like a bastard on the burning sea.
The daughter of the sea would one day be returned to it. These days, however, are not her time. Perhaps it was selfish - no, it almost certainly was, for her to have gone when she had. She hadn't originally intended to have gone so long, to have abandoned her home for weeks, the people that she still needed to repay for all their care towards her. There was not necessarily a good excuse to it, pawsteps drifting away, carrying her to a sailboat, with a smaller feline at her side. To have a small vacation, get away from it all, that was their true goal as they'd set out away from the Typhoon. Her chest had been burnt, mind fuddled with, and senses struggled. It was good, to have time with the other, to not worry over the ever increasing danger around her. It was cowardly, not something that Goldenluxury Roux would have ever done in the past. It was self serving. It was irresponsible. But, it was something she is not so sure she regrets.
In the past, this would not have been Goldenluxury Roux. But her definition's changed, on a fundamental level. Circumstances are different. And she had someone to indulge with. It wouldn't have been long. It shouldn't have been. She used to have a sense of control - things could go wrong still, but she at least could work with it, prioritize what was most important and seek out solutions. She would make things go her way. But she isn't so sure how to do it anymore. She isn't strong enough to, not smart enough to, not even lucky enough to.
What had happened to Sophiea?
Goldie is still asking herself the same question. It didn't make sense. For someone to just vanish, to just disappear without a trace, not even a scent to be followed. She'd spent days, weeks dwelling on it. Trying to figure it out. But it didn't make sense. There was nothing to work with, no hints, no sign. The female had even taken to praying, to crouching down, to begging for anything, anyone to tell her what had happened. Had she done something wrong? Had she gone mad? Was the female safe? But to no avail, no response. And as weeks turned longer and longer, nights felt more and more alone, dread peaked, she knew she couldn't take it alone anymore.
The news of her family's retirement had hit her on the way back home, though it hadn't quite processed immediately. Her paws felt restless, heart split in two, mind wondering if there was something different she should be doing. Wondering where Sophiea Pendragon had gone. The caracal didn't have the answer. Wouldn't have the answer, likely. This feeling was familiar, incredibly so. Though it did not ease the pain in her movements as she pressed forward, stepped onto her sailboat, and made her way across the waves. Things would not ease her as she got back home - there would be no comfort to greet her. Her mothers had stepped away, uncle and brother alongside, and she had struggled to truly figure out what she may have missed beyond that on its own. But she knew she did have a responsibility. That she, at the very least, owes them that. That she couldn't bare to lose anything else right now.
And so she would try to take charge. Try to control what aspects of her life could stay. Goldie didn't think she could really pull it off, but she didn't have any other choice. There was nothing else she could do. When she'd arrive at the docks, she was faced with a choice of where she could go. The tempest still awaited her, her old room still sitting within, untouched. Her crewmates may be relieved to see her, or they may be upset. They deserved to know she was back, at least. But, instead, she decided those two things would both have to wait. If she were to run into anyone on the way to where she intended to go, then she would simply offer a small greeting. She didn't feel ready to explain herself just yet. Being here, in a sense, almost felt in part like giving up on something else. But it wasn't. It was necessary she was here. It's the only real decision she could make right now that mattered. And so, she would continue on her main goal: to try and control what stayed. To start, she needed to go to the temple. She would be alone this time, no brother, uncle, son, or otherwise to greet her.
It was quiet when she made the climb, the familiar ambience of the beaches and jungles alike music to her tufted ears. The female's paws would hit the steps to the temple, eyes looking over entrance, then to the walls as she made her way inside. The stocks seemed as if they'd been used recently, for what she wouldn't know, but it seemed that their work would never end. In technicality, she likely did not have her position of sage anymore - there wouldn't be anyone to teach her anyway. But she still felt a sense of duty, this was how she could help her crew, how she could get better control. The old Goldenluxury Roux had already known everything she needed to, had already dedicated hours to research instead of sleeping, to learn what she'd considered such an essential skill. But she wasn't the old Goldenluxury Roux, and her mind struggled to focus so much now, struggled to learn as quickly.
So, her paws would brush lightly against the more emptied stores, taking a mental note on what she should try to collect. She would take a bag and set out. This was something easy, something to ease into, something to distract herself. And it was productive.
Where they could find the female now was upon the beach, taking a light break after what was probably an hour of searching for herbs throughout the rainforests. Her paws worked on a coconut, hitting it against a rock methodically to open it, and sip once she was able to. She takes off her bag, taking a seat and looking through it to go over what she's gathered thus far. Her eyes seem tired, paws a bit shaky, but gaze focused.
In the past, this would not have been Goldenluxury Roux. But her definition's changed, on a fundamental level. Circumstances are different. And she had someone to indulge with. It wouldn't have been long. It shouldn't have been. She used to have a sense of control - things could go wrong still, but she at least could work with it, prioritize what was most important and seek out solutions. She would make things go her way. But she isn't so sure how to do it anymore. She isn't strong enough to, not smart enough to, not even lucky enough to.
What had happened to Sophiea?
Goldie is still asking herself the same question. It didn't make sense. For someone to just vanish, to just disappear without a trace, not even a scent to be followed. She'd spent days, weeks dwelling on it. Trying to figure it out. But it didn't make sense. There was nothing to work with, no hints, no sign. The female had even taken to praying, to crouching down, to begging for anything, anyone to tell her what had happened. Had she done something wrong? Had she gone mad? Was the female safe? But to no avail, no response. And as weeks turned longer and longer, nights felt more and more alone, dread peaked, she knew she couldn't take it alone anymore.
The news of her family's retirement had hit her on the way back home, though it hadn't quite processed immediately. Her paws felt restless, heart split in two, mind wondering if there was something different she should be doing. Wondering where Sophiea Pendragon had gone. The caracal didn't have the answer. Wouldn't have the answer, likely. This feeling was familiar, incredibly so. Though it did not ease the pain in her movements as she pressed forward, stepped onto her sailboat, and made her way across the waves. Things would not ease her as she got back home - there would be no comfort to greet her. Her mothers had stepped away, uncle and brother alongside, and she had struggled to truly figure out what she may have missed beyond that on its own. But she knew she did have a responsibility. That she, at the very least, owes them that. That she couldn't bare to lose anything else right now.
And so she would try to take charge. Try to control what aspects of her life could stay. Goldie didn't think she could really pull it off, but she didn't have any other choice. There was nothing else she could do. When she'd arrive at the docks, she was faced with a choice of where she could go. The tempest still awaited her, her old room still sitting within, untouched. Her crewmates may be relieved to see her, or they may be upset. They deserved to know she was back, at least. But, instead, she decided those two things would both have to wait. If she were to run into anyone on the way to where she intended to go, then she would simply offer a small greeting. She didn't feel ready to explain herself just yet. Being here, in a sense, almost felt in part like giving up on something else. But it wasn't. It was necessary she was here. It's the only real decision she could make right now that mattered. And so, she would continue on her main goal: to try and control what stayed. To start, she needed to go to the temple. She would be alone this time, no brother, uncle, son, or otherwise to greet her.
It was quiet when she made the climb, the familiar ambience of the beaches and jungles alike music to her tufted ears. The female's paws would hit the steps to the temple, eyes looking over entrance, then to the walls as she made her way inside. The stocks seemed as if they'd been used recently, for what she wouldn't know, but it seemed that their work would never end. In technicality, she likely did not have her position of sage anymore - there wouldn't be anyone to teach her anyway. But she still felt a sense of duty, this was how she could help her crew, how she could get better control. The old Goldenluxury Roux had already known everything she needed to, had already dedicated hours to research instead of sleeping, to learn what she'd considered such an essential skill. But she wasn't the old Goldenluxury Roux, and her mind struggled to focus so much now, struggled to learn as quickly.
So, her paws would brush lightly against the more emptied stores, taking a mental note on what she should try to collect. She would take a bag and set out. This was something easy, something to ease into, something to distract herself. And it was productive.
Where they could find the female now was upon the beach, taking a light break after what was probably an hour of searching for herbs throughout the rainforests. Her paws worked on a coconut, hitting it against a rock methodically to open it, and sip once she was able to. She takes off her bag, taking a seat and looking through it to go over what she's gathered thus far. Her eyes seem tired, paws a bit shaky, but gaze focused.
NOTHING'S EVER LOST FOREVER, IT'S JUST HIDING IN THE RECESS OF YOUR MIND AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, IT WILL COME TO YOU AT NIGHT. I MISS THE YELLOW. I MISS THE YELLING AND THE SHAKEDOWN. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, NO, I GOT A BETTER SET OF KNIVES NOW. I MISS MY DRUMMER, MY DEAD STEPBROTHER, AND THE PIT CROWD. AND CHUCK AND MATTY - IF THEY COULD SEE ME THEY'D BE SO PROUD.
