walk away [★] chamomile hunting

[Tena M.]

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Tena Moonspinner —
Tena thought she might explode.  Short-circuit.  Start a storm and bring everything down with it.  The house.  The garden.  Everything.  Pick it up.  Carry it away.  Gone.  Cabin fever.  Even though she was walking.  Walking, talking, cooking, brewing... She had an ever-present pair of eyes on her.  Badgering her like a mother hen. Because even though she was getting up, moving about, it was obvious she struggled.

She tried to grit her teeth.  Show nothing.  Ignore Lavi's insistent voice.  'Did you sleep okay?' 'Have you drank any water?'  'Are you hearing okay?'  'Are-'  She had questions too. 

Questions she only bit out in her most frustrated moments, fuming and glaring into those ever-calm eyes.  Bitter and confused.  Do you even go home anymore?  Don't you have anything better to do?  Questions she didn't ask as well.  Why?  Why do you care so much?  Why do you chase after me every time?  They sat, jumbled in her brain, sitting on the tip of her tongue.  So loud she sometimes thought he could hear them.

She was scared.  Scared she'd have to face words she'd said before.  Words he hadn't understood.  Scared she was getting too used to waking up, to opening her eyes and seeing Lavi, having passed out while ensuring she was sleeping okay.  Who needs help going to sleep anyway?  Maybe he was paranoid.  Maybe he thought she'd try to run off again.  Stand in the line of fire.  Maybe he was scared too.

But Tena never let fear stand in her way before.

When he pressed her about whether or not she grew chamomile, she decided she'd take it upon herself to find the plant for whatever he needed it for.  Without telling him of course, lest he insist on coming with her or suggest she stay at home while he did it instead.  She just needed some time outside.  Time to prove she could go back to doing normal things.  Time to figure out what she actually thought and felt about the Jedi.  Before he completely drove her crazy.

If she could find that blasted herb.

The greenhouse had been her first idea.  A place she visited when her own garden was missing something or she wanted to gather some extra seeds.  But blue hues were beginning to flicker with irritation.  She was only really familiar with the herbs she brewed in her Tzai and those she grew in her garden (amidst a few other plants) so no one knew for sure what she used.

Her ears flicked back.  That's poppy... That looks like... Marigold... Chamomile is the daisy looking one right? … Kriff.  "Damn it, Lavi."
[align=right]— I tell you this story, save your life, set you free

[Warringkingdoms]

  [font=trebuchet ms]At least today, she had gotten out of bed shortly after sunrise. Bit by bit, she was returning to her normal schedule. The fact that after she retrieved what she needed, she would probably return to her room and not come out for the rest of the day was far from the front of her mind right now. Maybe after she completed the first task, a second task, perhaps even a third would seem within reach. Baby steps. She would accomplish what she could with her energy today.

  Walking into the greenhouse, Rin looked up- and felt the urge to walk away upon seeing Tena. Were a few sprigs of thyme worth ruining Tena's day? Probably not. Still, she was already here, so walking away would just seem unnecessarily avoidant, but... she settled for reflecting to herself, See, I told you Tena was still here.

  She hadn't, really. She'd been fully prepared for the reality that Lavi and Tena had skipped town.

  Forget it. Only subconsciously cognizant that she'd been standing there staring for several seconds, Rin walked past Tena and into the foliage, her eyes wandering the plants for the short, white-rimmed leaves characteristic of thyme. Everything was green upon green upon green, but soon enough, a patch of white broke up the monotony. Twitching her ears, Rin turned to look at it.

  A patch of chamomile plants stared back at her, white-petaled yellow resembling physical eyes a little too closely for comfort.

  She couldn't break her gaze away from the chamomile, feeling its scent sap her energy. Once upon a time, she'd been able to look at chamomile without spiraling downward, but... today was not one of those days. Already weighed down by an undefined burden, what was one more reminder that everyone was gone? Lessa, Imperia, Moonmade, Shininglight, Roman... four dead and one traitor. Wonderful mentor, she'd been.

  Something pricked at her eyes, and she swallowed. Reaching past the chamomile, she took some thyme from behind it, and placed the sprigs in her bag. Turning away from the chamomile, she stared at the greenery on the other side, her brain slowly moving onto the non-delineated next task.

  Go right on ahead. Offer her help. Ruin her day. Maybe the anger will be enough to get you moving.

  "...Did you need help finding something?" Rin asked, adopting a neutral expression and looking at Tena. She could pass off the previous sluggishness as having just woken up. Now, she was fully awake, or at least pretending to be.

[Tena M.]

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Tena Moonspinner —
"... Did you need help finding something?"  Tena nearly jumped.  Perhaps she did need her senses checked. ... No, she wouldn't admit to that.  Yet another reason for Lavi to pester her with overbearing concern.  She didn't need Rin on her back either.

Consequently, she let her unburnt ear twitch absently.  In the end, she knew Rin probably knew exactly where the chamomile was.  But the idea of asking for help made the Demdji uncomfortable.  Wary.  She could take care of herself.  She could find one stupid plant.  "..."  Damn it Lavi.

"..." Fine.  Whatever.  "Solo started going on about chamomile," she muttered, eyes locked on the various growing plants.  Behind her, the tip of her tail flicked.  "Don't even know what he wants it for.  But I'm looking for some."
[align=right]— I tell you this story, save your life, set you free

[Warringkingdoms]

  [font=trebuchet ms]On any other day, Rin might have been visibly surprised at Tena's response. At the moment, all she could muster was a slight twitch of the ear. Lavi, of course, was a reasonable explanation for why Tena was looking around in here... and coincidentally he wanted chamomile. Convenient.

  "It's right here," she answered after a moment, twitching her tail in the direction of the white flowers, but not making any move to look at it. The urge to tack on a self-deprecating comment about how long she'd been staring at it rose in her throat, but she forced it down. This was not the day to indulge in seeking pity. She could hazard a guess as to what Lavi wanted with the chamomile- it was a common component in tea, particularly useful for calming nerves- but this wasn't the time for speculation either. If Tena didn't have a guess that she thought to be worth sharing, then Rin definitely wouldn't.

  Moving aside so as not to block Tena's path to the chamomile, Rin shook her head. "I'll take some time to label the plants this week," she said, tugging at her scarf with one paw. Come to think of it, she wasn't sure why she hadn't done it before- it would have saved a couple long trips to the greenhouse to assist with identification. Oh, well. It was something she could do without having to think too terribly hard, but still enough to distract her from more harmful trains of thought- perfect to do now, in her current state.