10-06-2019, 11:42 PM
Sand.
He hated sand, honestly. He hadn't before, hadn't had the mind for it, but he had been walking for what felt like days through nothing but sand. Dunes as far as the eye could see, hills that seemed to shift whenever you looked away, ground inconsistent, burning at his paws, and little grains getting kicked up into his fur every time he stumbled just a bit.
Go away, they said to him, pushing him out, quite literally. We don't want you, they hadn't said - but he knew they wanted to. They never did. He was some sort of reminder of the mistakes they made, or something. He wasn't half a year old, and he was already kicked out of his house - if he were a spectator and not a broken-hearted child, surely it would have been almost comical to him. But a spectator he was not, and his heart certainly felt broken. A vase, pushed off the ledge to shatter.
They never wanted him, no. But at least he could hope to improve, to change their mind, somehow. At least there was some hope. Now, it seemed like he would die out here. He wasn't even half a year old, and he was trekking through the desert, pace sluggish, stumbling, every muscle fiber in his body wanting to give in to the heat and be swept under a rug of coarse, scorching sand. If he were another cat, perhaps he would have died. But another cat he was not. He was himself, and even if his parents didn't want him, he would still live.
Out of fear, if nothing else.
When he finally saw the jungle in the distance, he almost fell over out of sheer awe. If he knew curses, he would have used them, and if he knew any god, he would have blessed them. It looked so lush, so verdant, compared to the desolate hellhole he traipsed through, a pitch black smudge against the blaring light of the sand. So close, he was so close. Just a little bit farther. One foot in front of the other.
It wasn't the sand he hated, he thought, to distract from the ache of his muscles, the burning of his pads and his body, how he was starting to get dazed, how he felt as if his body would start falling apart any moment. He wasn't really advanced enough mentally to understand the concept of self hate, but he felt it, inside himself. A hate for his parents that would likely subside, eventually; not because it should pass, not because his parents were innocent people, but because he was a child.
As the child reached the very edge of the forest, he stumbled, crashing down into a blanket of foliage. It was still hot here, but it was much more humid than he was expecting. That was good, at least. A nice thought, to ease him. Would he die here, so close to his goal? So close to finding food, which undoubtedly lurked in the dank foliage? Would he die a failure?
The kit, ragged, lifted his head, and with all of his strength left in him, he called out, "Help," in the raspy voice of someone dehydrated. He couldn't tell if it was loud enough to call anyone to him. He couldn't tell if anyone even lived here. All he could do was try his damnedest to keep his lids from falling, to stave off death one moment at a time.
He hated sand, honestly. He hadn't before, hadn't had the mind for it, but he had been walking for what felt like days through nothing but sand. Dunes as far as the eye could see, hills that seemed to shift whenever you looked away, ground inconsistent, burning at his paws, and little grains getting kicked up into his fur every time he stumbled just a bit.
Go away, they said to him, pushing him out, quite literally. We don't want you, they hadn't said - but he knew they wanted to. They never did. He was some sort of reminder of the mistakes they made, or something. He wasn't half a year old, and he was already kicked out of his house - if he were a spectator and not a broken-hearted child, surely it would have been almost comical to him. But a spectator he was not, and his heart certainly felt broken. A vase, pushed off the ledge to shatter.
They never wanted him, no. But at least he could hope to improve, to change their mind, somehow. At least there was some hope. Now, it seemed like he would die out here. He wasn't even half a year old, and he was trekking through the desert, pace sluggish, stumbling, every muscle fiber in his body wanting to give in to the heat and be swept under a rug of coarse, scorching sand. If he were another cat, perhaps he would have died. But another cat he was not. He was himself, and even if his parents didn't want him, he would still live.
Out of fear, if nothing else.
When he finally saw the jungle in the distance, he almost fell over out of sheer awe. If he knew curses, he would have used them, and if he knew any god, he would have blessed them. It looked so lush, so verdant, compared to the desolate hellhole he traipsed through, a pitch black smudge against the blaring light of the sand. So close, he was so close. Just a little bit farther. One foot in front of the other.
It wasn't the sand he hated, he thought, to distract from the ache of his muscles, the burning of his pads and his body, how he was starting to get dazed, how he felt as if his body would start falling apart any moment. He wasn't really advanced enough mentally to understand the concept of self hate, but he felt it, inside himself. A hate for his parents that would likely subside, eventually; not because it should pass, not because his parents were innocent people, but because he was a child.
As the child reached the very edge of the forest, he stumbled, crashing down into a blanket of foliage. It was still hot here, but it was much more humid than he was expecting. That was good, at least. A nice thought, to ease him. Would he die here, so close to his goal? So close to finding food, which undoubtedly lurked in the dank foliage? Would he die a failure?
The kit, ragged, lifted his head, and with all of his strength left in him, he called out, "Help," in the raspy voice of someone dehydrated. He couldn't tell if it was loud enough to call anyone to him. He couldn't tell if anyone even lived here. All he could do was try his damnedest to keep his lids from falling, to stave off death one moment at a time.
tags - "speech"