working like clockwork [kydobi]

[bai shi]

[align=center]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" do you want to burn in hell with me? "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

plenty of things had been happening around the group, lots if battles, lots of prisoners and lots of tortures. they had been responsible for at least one capture after red, an ape of some sort had attacked them and flung aine away. their head was muddled and they had barely seen kydobi around.

he had been a being that they thoroughly enjoyed and had come to emotionally care about in a way that they had only experienced twice before. but, alas, the answer had been one of unease and discomfort, causing them to bury those damned emotions that tried to show themselves at the stupidest of times. they were only meant to be friends, it seemed, only that. and they could be alright with that, right? yeah, just a bit of shoving down emotional reactions.

in their travel around their camp, they found themselves standing before the temple that had once held them hostage times before now. allowing these memories to affect them, they grieved silently at the temple entrance, remembering sephiroth, the silver lion that they had loved without knowing the meaning of love. the man that had been taken from them in a mysterious way, leaving only black feathers behind, leaving his son and ... whatever they were to him, his personal guard. the memories of their rescue still haunted them, the golden dragon and the silver lion, what a brilliantly blazing duo they had been before fate had cut through those ties like cruel words through a weak heart.

shaking their body out, lynn stretched and sighed, rubbing a paw over the deep scar on their shoulder, in their feline form. they were seeking kydobi out, to touch bases in to ... well, they didn't know for sure. spend time as companions? wish him luck with relationships? they were not sure what the purpose was, perhaps just to catch up with their acquaintance.

[member=4490]Kydobi[/member]

[Kydobi]

[align=center]

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie -
♕tags-powers♕

[OOC: also can I say BAI'S PROFILE PIC IS AWESOME!!!]

Times like these, Kydobi sought isolation. Quiet peace from the screams of the tortured. Escape from the gaunt and exhausted look from the prisoners. The accusations in their redrimmed eyes. It's his fault.

He did nothing to stop it.

And more and more recruits filing in everyday. No doubt there was a can't beat them then join them mentality. Kydobi hated it. Loathed it. It was all so draining.Everywhere he went he couldn't escape. There was always a coppery scent in the wind. His senses were sharper than most, and he couldn't help but hear the cries miles away.

He couldn't block it out.

He couldn't stop it.

Often he overloaded in the canopy. The dead quiet. Writhing in visceral agony.

He had fallen so far and he climbed the trees because they brought him peace. He slept the days away, because every time he came down to mingle there was some sign of violence.


And Lynn? They seemed to have adapted too well. It scared Kydobi. And where was little Ramona in all this? He hadn't seen her. Feared the worst, did she die in battle? Thinking of him? Trying to make them proud?

He needed to leave. But he saw how fast the Pitt was growing and he knew there would be no way to stop the rushing tide. Funny to think that the dragon that had predicted the wars, was now on the side causing them. He wouldn't leave though, stay on the winning side.

Exhausting.

But today, he was down. Today he was not hiding away. Because no body ever really wants to be alone. So it would seem that he would come across his dear friend. Familiar and yet Kydobi felt he no longer knew them anymore. He didn't know anyone. Or anything. He had lost his noble reason for staying in the Pitt. His cowardice kept him here.

Quietly he treaded, no longer comfortable with his homelands. It was always this way when he first was on the ground. He walked as if he was an intruder, trying to not be detected. He always heard something, today was an especially off day. He walked, so focused on his auditory senses that he did not smell or see the blind jaguar by him.

[sub][W]isker[/sub]

[bai shi]

[align=center]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" do you want to burn in hell with me? "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ty! it's part of an art trade //

the blind jaguar was startled from their memories by the man that mystified them so, and it seemed he himself was not fully aware of his surroundings. remaining quiet, they debated on letting him know of their presence, or if he would realize they were there.

they remembered that they had spoken of these wars, that they had vowed to kill jervis. what was the point of killing him when there was still nobody to take his place. they couldn't sit idly, and even if it brought about their own downfall, they didn't much mind, because it was a warrior's path out and their daughter had been killed before she knew all of the glories. they had wreaked havoc on the bastards that had done it, teeth dripping with gore and inconsolable.

their family was slowly being ripped from their chest, and currently, this very man right here, lost within his own thoughts was one that they feared to lose, no matter that he didn't return the feelings that they were no longer sure of. "kydobi, I have an excuse for walking into a tree, sadly my friend, you do not have much of a psychical one.", they rasped, sitting and licking a paw to draw it over their ear.

"you smell of unease and turmoil. what bothers you so? i may have lost my sight, but I still have my ears and tongue and mostly all of my mind." they chuckled lowly, unaware of all the chaos within the other, trying to get their body language to seem more approachable. "if you don't want to talk to me about it, that's alright. how about a walk? it's been a while since I've shared any space with you for longer than a breath."

[Kydobi]

[align=center]

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie -
♕tags-powers♕

[OOC: ))) art trades are the best]

Hmm? The jaguar tensed as he heard his name, but eased a little once he realized who it was.

"I can't really crash through anything anymore...", he spoked referring to his intangibility powers, "well... maybe. I haven't really gotten that all down yet."

And he never would. But lately Kydobi had the physical presence of a ghost. Hell he was becoming one wasn't he? Haunting the canopy. Miserable. A lost soul. Wandering the terrain in search of something he couldn't even really find.


"It's a time of chaos... I have no reason to be relaxed and content.", everything is becoming exactly what I tried to avoid.


He didn't want to open up right now. He had kept himself so far from everyone that it was hard to let go and tell all. Even if it was someone like them.

"Sure... a walk sounds okay.", he would stand, waiting for them to join his side.

[sub][W]isker[/sub]

[bai shi]

[align=center]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" do you want to burn in hell with me? "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

they quietly joined him, letting space fall between them for comfort like always, except that today it was a chasm that they knew they couldn't cross if he didn't want them to. letting go of a small yet deep breath, they blinked and moved their head about, quiet.

sometimes, words were not needed, and sometimes they were. right now it felt intrusive to speak, but there words that they wanted to say, yet didnt know how to formulate them. they wanted to tell him they were sorry, but how did they get their treacherous tongue to work? they had a weight on their shoulders, hell, and it wasn't one that he could do anything about, even if he wanted to.

this breaking between them was something that they wanted to fix, but they would no longer pretend to be someone that they were not. after all, they had nothing left here, nothing to keep them tied down other than their own loneliness and madness. they wanted to tell him so many things, but the most important was over why he stayed when there was so many other places.

[Kydobi]

[align=center]

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie -
♕tags-powers♕

[OOC: ]

"I don't think I've ever heard you quiet before. Usually you would have spit out a couple wise sayings by now."

Just to break the silence. The quiet had settled into his fur no matter how short and he wouldn't let it drag on. He knew it wasn't the type caused by thought more so than the type caused by the awkward mix of unsaid things. It just made him want to leave to the canopy again.

He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. Unsure who should take the first step into this "walk".

"You seem... to have.. fit in well here."

[sub][W]isker[/sub]

[bai shi]

[align=center]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" do you want to burn in hell with me? "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

giving a slight snort, bai gave a gentle huff of humor, "wise you say? I highly doubt that I am that wise.", they murmured quietly to him, turning their head to 'look' at him, "I fit in well, hey? it's my past, that's helped me here. I dont mind it myself, because it is part of who i was in the past." they murmur thoughtfully.

"it feels good to be able to be who I know I am. recently, with all the loss, it's been hard to keep up appearances. you might not enjoy this part of me, kydobi, I've witnessed the disapproval, I'm aware of it. the capture was a mistake, I didn't intend to capture that ape. the war is only truly beginning my friend." they tell him as they begin to lead the way.

[Kydobi]

[align=center]

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie -
♕tags-powers♕

[OOC: ]

He inhaled deeply. It felt like his friend was avoiding the result of their actions.

Whether they meant to or not, "But you still did. You brought him to the Pitt instead of letting them escape. You brought that ape to a place he will never leave. You brought him into the grasps of a monster who tortures children out of pride."

He quieted as a realization hit him. He was no better. He stayed here. Still, after all the things he disapproved of.

"But I have no right to judge.. I'm sorry. At the end of the day my cowardice is all that keeps me here... At first it was Ramona.. But she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. Then it was for you. But once again in my life I fear I found nothing."

Paw steps were soft but not as soft as his words. Emotions were flooding him and knowing he was in the presence of Bai only fanned the flames. His throat tightening and his mouth dried as his ears pinned back.


"I don't want to be here anymore...", a delicate whisper, hoarse and quiet. As if he was scared of letting himself hear the truth as if he didn't know it. When he said here he meant the world on a larger scale, not just the Pitt. He meant his life, "I don't want to be here. I wake up everyday sick to my stomach. The smell... The screams. The blood. Everything. And yet I'm scared to leave because I fear Jervis."

He laughed, a low chuckle, "I'm scared of a tiny fox. A-and when I think about how to rid the world of him... I can't help but realize he has acquired his power for a reason. He has kept his power for some reason. I can't figure it out...."

He flicked his tail, ringing it out in an attempt to comfort himself. His eyes were glossy and bright as ever, borderline madness. They would move to meet the blind ones.

"I'm going to die here. The Pitt is going to kill me. Be it battle, poison, or heart break. I wake up everyday and all I feel... is... is bad. I feel terror. Disgust."

He felt a little better, letting all that out. But it wasn't enough to make him feel safer or lighten the weight on his shoulders. It wasn't enough. In fact, speaking it out loud made it feel like he signed a contract. That he only made these things more definite. It only added weight.

Kydobi exhaled, and inhaled deeply before sighing.

[sub][W]isker[/sub]

[bai shi]

[align=center]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" do you want to burn in hell with me? "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

a slight breath themself, "I admit that i did wrong, kydobi, do not think that I avoid that weight. I don't avoid anything even if it means I will die." they murmur, falling quiet as they allowed him to speak and explain his emotions and worrisome feelings. "ramona has a lot of issues and she feared being abandoned the most. do not lie to yourself my friend, there is no reason but your fear holding you back." they answer.

his words stung, but what had they been hoping for? an 'I love you despite seeing not knowing if I ever could and despite meeting this new side of you'? idiocy. sighing, the feline let their ear twitch, "jervis is just another madman waiting for ththe guillotine to take his head, kydobi. be it in the shape of claws, teeth or wings. he keeps his power because we are too weak to face him.", they tell him, haunted by the silver face and the curious expression of their own sworn beloved. cursing quietly under their breath, their ears laid back, pupils becoming slits, tasting the rage that welled deep within their corpse.

exhaling, they drew themselves back together and turned their blind head toward him, sensing movement, listening and feeling their pelt stiffen and ripple as they listened to his words. "you are no coward, kydobi. you repeatedly went into enemy territory to meet with me when I led the rosebloods. you are just turning pages, my friend, this is part of your story. the darkness wells and bubbles inside of you, a part of the chaos around you but you dont need to seek a reason to live, kydobi. ramona is learning to write her own story, and you must take those choices of your own legacy into your paws and strain them out. eternal sleep and escape calls, but that is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem. if you feel like leaving this place, say the word and those around you will cover your tracks. Dont let the dismay and horror take your life, kydobi, fight a warrior's death. worry not about what happens after you leave, the dead cannot touch the living save for in deep dreams."

[Kydobi]

[align=center]

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie -
♕tags-powers♕

[OOC: ]

During their time, Kydobi would remain quiet. Soaking in every word they had to say. Bai was nothing if not truthful to him. He allowed their sea of words to calm his storm, gently did he come down. His heart slowed after that confession.

Finally when they were finished Ky would dare speak. There would be a brief moment of silence as he mulled over everything.

"Yes. We fear him, no better than everyone else. I'm afraid my words are bigger than my heart. And this is fine. Perhaps I'll get the courage to leave someday."


He swallowed, looking at the fellow cat. Kydobi loved watching his own species. Jaguars, leopards, lions, tigers, and everything in between. They were all so unique. But he had a special fondness for jaguars. Sure leopards were similar but their was something.... divine about jaguars. Just being around his own kind comforted him.

It reminded him of home. Before things were uprooted. The quiet when the world was kind and calm to him and his brother.

Eyes would shift over to Bai, a hesitant step closer and then he would move all at once to nuzzle his nose in their ear. Eyes closed, he would seek comfort in the warmth. Inhaling the familiar scent and exhaling shakily. His nose would move down their ear to their cheek bone, lightly tracing their muzzle before he pushed his own cheek softly against their face.

He pulled away. It would always be this way. He would yearn to feel affection, to give and receive love. And when he attempted such, he would feel himself liking it too much. It would conjure memories of betrayal and he would stop himself. For fear of becoming too attached. Because everyone he loved, he had lost or been shown a different side of.

Clearing his throat he would look at his paws and then back up at them when he remembered they could not see.


"But I don't want to be alone anymore. Since I was a yearling I grew up in isolation. Having spent my youth in exile, I don't want to feel that way anymore. At least here... Even if among the thieves and murderers, I know I am apart of something... No matter how terrible. No matter how bad I want to leave it."

Kydobi licked his shoulder nervously, trying to snap shut the open chest of buried memories and pains. He would instead focus on who and just what was in front of him. While he wasn't sure who Lynn was internally, he was awfully familiar with the form they took externally. He liked it. It was home.

"Let's find a good spot to relax in privacy. I prefer the deepest of the jungle, away from buildings and people.", he knew he contradicted himself in a way. But even when he hid in the trees, he still was... somewhere where people knew who he was and valued him.

The jaguar was exhausted, he yearned for Bai's affection. Remembering how good it felt to be coiled in the golden dragons warmth. How good he felt providing a protective shelter with his body for the sorrowful fox with silver tears. But these were things he would never admit. He had missed the jungle gym phase where he learned how to cut roses and confess kindergarten love. Prior to meeting Bai he had never ever known what it was like to embrace another in a way other than sexual. It was romantic. It was a feeling he did not know and therefore feared because he didn't know how to manage it. But now he had a taste of the soft feeling of another's body. He had lain with another, only once. But it was pure lust. No emotions.

His heart had never reached out for someone before.

"I think we both need to feel the embrace of a friend.", he said his words carefully, not trying to give away that he desired to hold them in a way more than platonic. But he wanted to let them know his intentions were of the sort that require touch. But he would throw it in the air in case Bai Shi didn't desire the same. If so he braced himself for that denial.

But if they agreed he was also praying they wouldn't speak of feelings. When mentioned, Kydobi shuts them out. He gets defensive and quickly closes his books.

[sub][W]isker[/sub]