08-05-2018, 10:44 AM
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goldenluxury "goldie" roux — female — the typhoon — tags
the girl looked down as lucifer offered to help, not responding. she did not want to trouble anyone. she'd already done that too much. she wanted others to stop having to worry over her so much. she was doing such a terrible job of hiding it. she didn't have time to think about herself. she didn't have time to care for herself. whenever she did, she just felt disappointed. so disappointed.
her eyes flickered to snare, blinking at his words before vandal appeared and replied for her. that look on vandal's face filled the girl with guilt. all she wanted was for them all to be happy and safe. she was working for that most of all. she had briefly achieved it not long ago, but she needed it to last longer. she needed to find more ways for it to happen.
she needed to constantly give out presents and create reason for celebration so they all could feel glad, because she would make sure nothing bad would happen. she needed to make it perfect - she needed to be perfect. if only they understood that.
since she had gotten sick, she had made more of an attempt to rest - her papa said she needed to step back. she did for a little bit, and she tried really hard to, but it was difficult. she hated it. she missed so much when she did. her dizziness begins to subside a little more as vandal touches her cheek and she sighed silently for a moment. as vandal spoke, she looked away, remaining quiet. vandal was the only one who did seem to understand, at least a little.
"i'm trying." she would say quietly, meant only for vandal to hear. "it's hard." it really was. she used to love the idea of naps and spending time by herself and do it regularly to feel good, but now the thought was terrifying. how dare she take time for herself? she was already given so much - she needed to give back. any wasted time took away from that.
the young girl watched as her sibling approached, gaze warm though sad. she blinked quietly, letting them place their paw upon her one. she was worrying them too much. she felt so bad. "i'm sorry."
her eyes flickered to snare, blinking at his words before vandal appeared and replied for her. that look on vandal's face filled the girl with guilt. all she wanted was for them all to be happy and safe. she was working for that most of all. she had briefly achieved it not long ago, but she needed it to last longer. she needed to find more ways for it to happen.
she needed to constantly give out presents and create reason for celebration so they all could feel glad, because she would make sure nothing bad would happen. she needed to make it perfect - she needed to be perfect. if only they understood that.
since she had gotten sick, she had made more of an attempt to rest - her papa said she needed to step back. she did for a little bit, and she tried really hard to, but it was difficult. she hated it. she missed so much when she did. her dizziness begins to subside a little more as vandal touches her cheek and she sighed silently for a moment. as vandal spoke, she looked away, remaining quiet. vandal was the only one who did seem to understand, at least a little.
"i'm trying." she would say quietly, meant only for vandal to hear. "it's hard." it really was. she used to love the idea of naps and spending time by herself and do it regularly to feel good, but now the thought was terrifying. how dare she take time for herself? she was already given so much - she needed to give back. any wasted time took away from that.
the young girl watched as her sibling approached, gaze warm though sad. she blinked quietly, letting them place their paw upon her one. she was worrying them too much. she felt so bad. "i'm sorry."
NOTHING'S EVER LOST FOREVER, IT'S JUST HIDING IN THE RECESS OF YOUR MIND AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, IT WILL COME TO YOU AT NIGHT. I MISS THE YELLOW. I MISS THE YELLING AND THE SHAKEDOWN. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, NO, I GOT A BETTER SET OF KNIVES NOW. I MISS MY DRUMMER, MY DEAD STEPBROTHER, AND THE PIT CROWD. AND CHUCK AND MATTY - IF THEY COULD SEE ME THEY'D BE SO PROUD.