so if i threw it all away — p, izuku

[guts]

It's hard to fool Aizawa. While he hasn't known Izuku for too long, he can still read him, and he can tell that he isn't telling the whole truth. He was more affected than he let on, but he wasn't going to pry. Instead he nods, still looking vaguely displeased. The maine coon was still here, and really, that's all that mattered. They could go into how he felt when or if he was ready. "That's true. But thank you for sharing with me, I'm sure it must have been difficult," he says it a bit stiffly, still unsure how to react to such an emotional moment.

Either way, he glances around, then turns a confused eye to Izuku. "What about that tea? I was quite looking forward to it," unless he just ended up puking it all back up. Then it would be pretty unpleasant.

"SPEECH"

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[arcy]

Well, it's not like Izuku had ever been very secretive about his body language, anyways. Throughout everyday conversation, Izuku may as well be as easy to read as a book. Even if he tried, he wouldn't have been very successful in stilling his tail, anyways. Seriously, his tail was restless, and a pretty obvious indicator of Izuku's mood at the time. Izuku is just glad Aizawa isn't pushing, despite how obvious Izuku was. He ... might tell Aizawa more, someday, but that day wasn't now. "Ah, yeah," Izuku just smiles and ducks his head. What was difficult? The sharing of the surviving? Because both were awfully difficult. Anyways, Izuku doesn't even notice Aizawa's stiffness or stumbling over the moment. Izuku was honestly as clueless as Aizawa was. Had he ever had emotional moments with other people before? Maybe a few times, but nothing like this.
"Oh! Right!" The tea!! He'd put a bunch of things in it, so he just hoped the medicines didn't clash or anything. Could they clash? Izuku didn't wanna know, maybe he should ask Jacob. Izuku does his best to pour a cup, in any case. It's ... very hard, without hands, and also down an entire limb. He manages it somehow, though, and eventually manages to push it at Aizawa. It was mostly nausea and stuff. But then -- oh, fuck. "The tea should hopefully help, if it's too bitter, just add honey. A -- and this, too!" The blood! He forgot about that!! Because he's a moron. Goldenrod, right? But only in small doses. ... A little smaller than it should be, but Izuku doesn't want to accidentally give Aizawa an overdose or anything? So, after taking that apart, places it next to the cup of tea. "I can put the rest in a flask to carry around once you're ready to go?" Was Aizawa leaving now, or were they gonna have teatime or something? Izuku isn't sure, and he doesn't wanna presume or anything.

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Simply sitting back and watching as he prepares the tea, Aizawa takes a quick whiff of it, his nerves quickly calmed at the scent. He's also pretty glad to no longer be talking about such emotional topics, but he was open to it if Izuku ever wanted to talk about it more. He didn't want him to feel like he was alone in what he was feeling--truthfully, he was dealing with his own burdens. But that wasn't too important, at least not right now.

He murmurs a 'thank you' as the cup is pushed towards him, pausing a moment to try and figure out how to drink it. Then he just crouches down and laps at it after adding the Goldenrod, deciding it would be difficult to try and hold it. He's slightly hesitant, since he isn't sure if he'll be able to keep it down, but he also trusts the maine coon's knowledge. He wouldn't have been made a Tenderfoot if he didn't know what he was doing. It is a bit bitter, but he doesn't mind. He even likes it that way somewhat, as he's always had a bit of a taste for bitter things.

It doesn't take the lion long to finish it, glancing up as he goes on. He can't help but grin smugly. "You're in quite the rush to get rid of me," he jokes as he sits back up, running his tongue over his lips. He definitely wouldn't mind staying for tea, especially since he was ill and couldn't do much--and drinking tea was always a good way to pass time.

"SPEECH"

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[arcy]

Honestly, the weirdest concept to Izuku was being able to talk about this stuff at all. He'd probably be content spilling that much for quite a while -- Izuku had long since adjusted to not having anyone to talk to, anyways. He didn't even tell his mom a lot of stuff, so that he didn't worry her or anything. He could keep going on about his experiences alone, but he couldn't burden anyone with that information, now could he? So Izuku just smiles easily as Aizawa laps at some of the tea. Till hunger pangs hit him -- ah, when had he last eaten? Izuku's face gives a little twist, curling his tail around his paws a little tighter. He'd get food after this -- hopefully. Maybe. Oh god he was gonna completely forget wasn't he. Oh well. It'd only be a few hours at most till he remembered again.
Hearing Aizawa's words, however, Izuku jolts, blinking at the lion like a deer in the headlights. And then, gradually, panic sinks in, as he clearly misses the joke entirely. Telling Izuku a joke like that was like Russian roulette of 'will izuku miss the joke entirely', and it seems Aizawa was just unlucky today. "N -- no, it's nice to spend time with you! B-but just in case you wanted to, cause I'm not really interesting company and, um !!" Izuku finally breaks off. He could've gone on for ages longer if he wanted to, and he usually did, but he got the point across basically. Plus half the time people just. Didn't care. That he messed up. So. Uh.

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Oh, so Izuku was like that. The lion snorts, huffing air out of his nose at his misplaced distress, though his face was kept blank. But he did find it amusing how his little joke had flown straight over the other's head. As capable as he was (or somewhat was), he was still a numskull sometimes. "It's alright, I wasn't being serious," he explains softly, shaking his head. He didn't want him to panic like he was. "Well, whether you're interesting company or not, I don't have much else to do."

So, with that, he'd be staying. Unless, of course, Izuku had other things to do. But even so, he'd try not to get in the way. He'd probably just end up falling asleep in the few moments of peace he had with his body right now. He wasn't much of a conversationalist, so he sat there quietly, looking around at the set-up the maine coon had. Hopefully he'd be offered more tea, that had been good.

"SPEECH"

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[arcy]

Izuku, for a few moments, just blinks at the lion. Wasn't serious? Oh, embarrassing. This again -- it happened sometimes, where he'd just assume people were being serious. Then again, the number of occasions where people acted like they were joking but weren't was absolutely astounding, so Izuku gives himself a pass on that particular quirk of his. Sort of. He's still very disappointed in himself.
"O -- oh," Izuku says, a little flatly, but mostly he just looks dead inside. And a little flustered, both mostly distancing from himself from the situation until he gets over the embarrassment. He smiles a little awkwardly at Aizawa as he turns to busy himself with getting another cup of tea. Did Aizawa want another one? Izuku didn't know, nor did he particularly care. This cup was Aizawa's problem now. As he shoves it at the lion, he realizes that Aizawa is just sorta. Looking around. .... His room was just a mess. Like, a big mess. How many ink stains were there? Plus the blankets. and the plushies. Don't judge him. Izuku doesn't try to say anything either though, still being a flustered mess. Also, he wasn't great at conversations either -- Izuku was a better listener than a talker. Well, unless you encouraged him enough. Then he'd just kinda ... chatter your ear off.

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Really, he didn't have much room to speak about the disorder of the room. Aizawa wasn't the most organized himself, as it usually depended on what it was. The important things he kept orderly, while all the rest was just...messy. But this just looked like a typical teen's room, so he would give Izuku a pass. Besides, he probably had other things on his mind lately. He knew he did.

The lion absent-mindedly watches him as he goes to fixing another cup, the tip of his tail swishing beside his paws. Once it was offered to him, he gladly took it, thanking him before doing as he did before. But this time he paused to speak. "How is the medic life treating you?" he had been wondering what had made him decide to take the path of medicine, though it was a lot different here than back home--along with a lot of other things. But if he thought about it all too long, he'd probably get another headache.

So, he just settles with gently lapping at his tea, wanting the peace to stay with his stomach for a little longer. Even if it did mean throwing it all up later. Oh well.

"SPEECH"

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[arcy]

Personally, Izuku found that the messy room was the opposite of what he was used to. His room had always been organized when he was human, everything was clean and it all had a place. Every figure went there, and vice versa. Then, when he became a cat, he just ... couldn't follow the same organization patterns, and cleaning was hard. So now he was here. It was frustrating, sometimes, but Izuku could live with it.
"It's been weird," Izuku settles when Aizawa asks. Finally, something to focus on. He did like talking about his medic duties! Even if it was frustrating sometimes. So frustrating. Like -- does anyone else know anything? ... Basically, Izuku has gotten increasingly nit-picky about how everyone else handled injuries or health in general. "I didn't have many duties to do till the humans invaded, and it's been kinda stressful, but it's still nice to do," There's always a sense of accomplishment and relief that came with the job. Izuku imagined that he'd be doing a lot more duties from now on, too. Jacob had enough duties, so as long as it wasn't too hard, Izuku could handle the medical stuff. ... He'd probably still pester Jacob with questions sometimes, though.
"... It's kinda weird, though. I was training to be a hero, and now I'm here." Izuku sighs. He knows Aizawa must be wondering why Izuku chose to become a Tenderfoot. Izuku isn't entirely sure of the answer himself. Or ... he hadn't been, but as time went on, Izuku became gradually more passionate about his job. Honestly, it was probably pretty clear to those that payed attention. "I was kinda tired of hurting people, though. And ... I figured this was the closest to a hero I could get, anymore," ... Izuku didn't like blood, anymore. He hadn't liked it before, either, but now it just made him panic sometimes. He was trying to get over it -- he couldn't be a doctor afraid of blood, after all. He thinks his biggest problem was being the cause of wounds and blood, though. He had enough of that. Enough of it. There wasn't much of anything 'brute force' about fighting these days, anyways. There was just ... claws and teeth, to puncture. No bruises or anything anymore, if you wanted to take somebody down, you'd have to bleed them out. Izuku could deal with that somedays, but not all days. ... Anyways, the only time he'd been called a hero in a long time, since he became a cat, was when he reunited with Todoroki, the first time. He'd been trying to treat the other, who'd just been a stranger then, and he's just .. he's not sure.

☀ what was i worth

[guts]

Aizawa doesn't know much about healing and medicine, especially now that it was all..different. He was used to only knowing how to fight and defend himself, as it came with the hero job, of course. But now he didn't even know that. Huffing at this knowledge, he nods towards Izuku, glad this new rank made him happy. He really didn't mind that his teaching had gone to waste, though only because it had for everyone else, too. None of it really mattered anymore, did it?

But he supposes he can understand not wanting to hurt people. In all his years, there had been many heroes that had given up for the same reason. Perhaps they were the true heroes, after all, or maybe he was just going crazy. Either way, they had to be admired for their values. But still, he understood that in order to save people, sometimes you just had to hurt others. It was the way things worked, even here, it seemed.

"That's true. You're gonna help a lot of people, whether you fight or not," despite how some people thought of it, healers really did help people a lot, and without them who knows what would have happened at U.A. If it wasn't for Recovery Girl, they wouldn't have even been a school.

"SPEECH"

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[arcy]

Till he'd started doing research in his old group, Izuku hadn't known anything about medicine, either. Honestly, when he'd encountered Todoroki, the first person he'd ever treated, he hadn't known anything then, either. He'd picked up on his research then after, and now he was here, apparently. It was actually a very convoluted series of events that lead to where Izuku is now. He could probably write an essay on it.
Anyways ... Someday Izuku could probably get over his fear or hurting or whatever. I mean, he'd kind of lost it with Toga and his only problem had been with his enjoyment at hurting her. So ... there was a step in some direction. Was it good? Was it bad? Izuku doesn't know! He's not sure he wants to know! Oh, but that was basically the entire reason he was kind of avoiding the whole fighting scene. He'd injured people pretty badly, and while Toga deserved it considering the corpse she'd been mutilated, he didn't really want to go down that path.
Anyways, he's not quite sure how to take Aizawa's response. Was that a compliment or something? Izuku did his best to help people when he could, but he found that more often than not he was too much of a pushover to do anything besides pick a fight or, yes, treat people. He'd speak up in other people's defense sometimes, but even that was kind of iffy. "You think so?" Izuku decides to confirm, voice hopeful. He still wants to be somebody people could be proud of. Just cause he was dead and unlikely to see anybody besides Aizawa and some other people again(at least hopefully) doesn't really change that. Well, I mean ... the healing route was kinda strange, but Izuku was also pretty weak. ... He should probably start getting more of an idea of how his training regime is gonna be once he's healed. Assuming he heals well and doesn't get himself injured again. Seriously, just as his last set of injuries had started to heal.

☀ what was i worth