kauko's august cdc tracker

[candorosa]

august cdc tracker.

1 // loyalty [ 541 words ]
2 // hurt + when has y/c lied before? [ x ]
3 // snow + where is y/c's favorite place to be? [ x ]
4 // belief + what does y/c fear most? [ x ]
5 // fear + how would y/c deal with love? [ x ]
6 // jealousy + what’s the worst thing y/c do to somebody they care about? [ x ]
7 // memories + what does y/c do to calm down when stressed? [ x ]
8 // alone + how would y/c respond to someone they love being threatened with potential harm or getting hurt? [ x ]
9 // change [ x ]
10 // love + what's a situation that would cause y/c to betray those closest to them? [ x ]
11 // sweet + what does y/c want most in the world? [ x ]
12 // strength + what is y/c afraid others see in them?? [ x ]
13 // stars + how does y/c react to mistakes they've made? [ x ]
14 // dark + what was y/c's childhood like? Or, how has it been, if they're still young? [ x ]
15 // dream + who/what type of person does y/c go to for comfort? [ x ]
16 // cold + how does y/c feel about their appearance? [ x ]
17 // blood + how does y/c cope with fear? [ x ]
18 // discovery + how does y/c feel about love? [ x ]
19 // burning + what is y/c most passionate about? why? [ x ]
20 // distance + how does y/c deal with grief? [ x ]
21 // label + what is the worst y/c has felt? [ x ]
22 // boundaries + y/c is forced to make a decision they dont want to choose? [ x ]
23 // unique + what is the strangest thing y/c has believed in? [ x ]
24 // winter + how does y/c keep themselves motivated? [ x ]
25 // hatred + how does y/c respond to pain? [ x ]
26 // lead + what are y/c's opinions on children? how do they interact with them? [ x ]
27 // frost + what is y/c's driving force to keep going? [ x ]
28 // answers + who does y/c most want to protect? [ x ]
29 // fallen +  why is y/c still in snowbound? [ x ]
30 // restart + how did y/c receive their scars, if they have any? [ x ]
31 // endings + how does y/c bond with people? [ x ]

[candorosa]

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day one — loyalty // 541 words
Loyalty was an odd thing. Kauko himself was still very loyal to his parents, even if they had kicked him out. He missed his mom and dad, even if he never showed it. He knew he could trust them, without a single doubt. They were the only people he was close to. Kauko never had the chance to bond with children his age. "It's not safe, Kauko," his parents would say as they ushered him back into the little house after he tried to go talk to the children in the village near his home. Sometimes his parents had guests over that he made small-talk with but they didn't seem interested in befriending a kitten. His interactions with other animals besides his parents were limited.

If his mother and father decided to appear one day and ask him to come back home, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But why was he loyal to them? Such thoughts popped into his mind on occasions when his frustration with them hit its peak. His angry thoughts buzzed around, telling him to leave, to push back, to break free from his tedious life. 'They're my family. They're all I have,' he would remind himself after calming down. 'Where would I go?' Kauko would ask himself soon after. The village was far too close to his house, so there was no point in leaving. He doubted the inhabitants even knew he existed, he had never stepped foot in it. 'Why bother?' Rinse and repeat.

That was it, huh? They were family, and Kauko was their son. He was supposed to be loyal, he was supposed to be a filial son. He learned from them and they molded him into who he was today. They gave him instructions, he followed them, and he copied their habits to make them proud. Without their guidance, he was left floundering around without a clue as what to do. He still didn't know what to do, but he had learned to keep his worries to himself. All he could do was go about his day and hope that one day his parents would take him back. Even if his life with them had been boring and chock full of the same routines every single day, it was all he knew.

Yes, Kauko understood very well as to why someone would be loyal to an individual. But loyalty to a group? The concept left him confused. When he left Tanglewood, he did it without a second thought. He had mostly kept to himself, so he never had the chance to befriend anyone. There was nothing anchoring him to the swamp-dwelling clan. And with Snowbound, sure, it was a nice group with interesting faces but like Tanglewood, he didn't have an attachment with the group. He was just looking for a place to live. He just didn't understand - why would anyone put their complete trust on a place? What if the person leading the clan led them into ruins, what if they were a dictator? Did he just not understand because he was never born in a clan? Would he think differently if he hadn't been completely isolated from the village?

He supposed he'd never know.