YOU'RE THE CAUSE // open, panic attack // THE ANTIDOTE

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

light the night up,
you're my dark star

//This is set almost directly after this thread! I just haven't posted with Atbash yet since I don't want to 'double' post ^^;
Aaa I put this in the title, but small trigger warning for my attempt at trying to describe a panic attack

Atbash took off towards camp almost as soon as she scented Caesar near the border. She had tried to stay hidden from her younger brother, and was trying to make sure it was him before she ran off for no reason. But there was no mistaking it: the smell of death practically hovered around the other demon, and it made Atbash recall how he just stood there, watching his friends and family be burned alive. As soon as she saw the yellow color of her brother, Atbash quickly turned tail and began rushing back into camp. She didn't care who saw her or who was in the way, she just had to get out of there. The amount of pressure she felt in her chest when she saw Caesar was unbearable and although it went away slightly when she took off, that feeling was still there, making it hard for her to breath.

Atbash ran straight towards her room, trying to escape the eyes of the NPCs that watched her. She collapsed onto her bed, claws digging into the moss. No matter how hard she tried to breathe normally, she couldn't relax the pressure in her chest. It hurt, and the demon was practically on the verge of tears. She trembled in her nest, staring at the floor as if it would help her calm down. But even as she tried to relax, memories of the night Caesar burned their parents alive started flooding back to her and they wouldn't stop.

There was a smell of smoke in the air, and Atbash could hear the flames cackle as she ran towards the den that made their home. Vigenere ran beside her, focused on the sights ahead of him. She knew he was just as worried as she was for their parents, and knew that no matter how angry he was at Caesar, he wasn't going to go after him. Not at first. Their top priority was to save their parents first. Maybe they could make things alright, maybe things would be better. Atbash continued forward, skidding to a halt as she saw their home in flames.
"Ma!" Atbash cried, rushing forward and narrowly missing Vigenere's paw reaching out to stop her. "Pa!" They had to be alright. They had to be alive. They had to be okay. Atbash knew Vigenere was worried for her now, but they had to save their parents! Atbash halted as the flames roared in front of her, and pinned her ears against her head. There was no way to get inside without being burned. But she had to save them. Atbash held her breath and closed her eyes, backing up slowly, before she pelted forward and jumped, trying to avoid the flames as much as possible. She could hear Vigenere's voice call out to her in alarm as she did to, but she didn't care. Atbash hit the ground, gritting her teeth as she tumbled.
"Atbash!" Their mother's worried tone cut through the sounds of the flames. She was pressed against her mate, her side bright red with blood from being burned. She was breathing heavily, as if trying to make the pain go away. Her mate's left paw was on her own paw, clearly trying to comfort her. "You need to get out of here!" Her mother was trying to stay calm, she could tell. Atbash shook her head and slowly rose to her paws, wincing as she realized that she, too, got burned by the flames. Atbash pinned her ears against her head again, trying to fight back the intense amount of pain that shot through her as she got up.
"No! You have to come with us," Atbash said back to her, limping over to where her parents were huddled together.
"You need to save yourself." This was her father speaking, his tone calm. But Atbash could tell how worried and scared he was; his brown eyes practically shone with fear. "We'll be fine."
"You won't be!" Atbash cried back. "You'll be killed, along with the entire Dimension. You have to come with us, please!" Did he even know who was the cause of all this? Did he know the monster Caesar had become? Atbash crawled to where her parents were, pressing up against her father. "Please..." She couldn't leave them. She couldn't just sit here and watch them be burned alive. If they had to suffer, then so did she. Her father tried to gently push her away with his muzzle, but she shook her head and clung to him as much as she could.

Atbash's attention turned to the entrance of their den as she heard the sound of wood splintering. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized the den was going to collapse in on itself, and she clung to her father harder. "Ma, Pa, please, we have to move." She cried. She felt her father shake his head, and shifted ever so slightly to push her off of him. Before she could react, teeth grabbed her scruff and pulled her out of the den. "NO!" Atbash yowled, trying to dig her claws into the ground to prevent whomever had her from continuing, but her efforts were fruitless. Once she was out of the den, she felt the grip loosen and she shook off the person who had her. Atbash turned around, completely ignoring the way her body screamed at her to stop moving, and glared up at the person - who was Vigenere. Her eldest brother had a look of pain on his face, but it wasn't from any of the wounds he had from the flames. He looked at her in the eye briefly before looking away. "I had to.." He spoke quietly, ears folded back.
"They're going to die!" Atbash yelled at him, sobbing. "We could have saved them!" Vigenere only shook his head in response and slowly moved towards her. Once he realized that she wasn't going to lash out at him, he pressed himself against her and started to cry himself. "I'm sorry." He cried. "Pa told me to, I can't... I can't let you die too, Atbash. I need you. I've already lost one sibling, I don't need to lose another."
Atbash knew he was right. She knew there was no way of saving their parents, no matter how hard she wanted to. It was either her or them, or risk Vigenere's life as well. Atbash buried her head into her brother's body and sobbed, unable to control herself anymore.

In reality, she was doing the same thing. Atbash buried her head into her forearms, still trembling and shaking. At this point, she was crying so much she could barely see anything, and she started to feel dizzy whenever she moved. Her chest was still tight, although it was a lot easier to breathe than it was compared to when she first rushed back into camp. But at the point, she didn't care who heard her. She just needed to get this out of her system, she needed to cry. She couldn't hide this anymore.

//Word count: 1,204

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